Can behavioral science save us from conversational chaos this holiday season?
If you have your doubts, we understand. Navigating conflict with loved ones can feel impossible—especially around the Thanksgiving table.
It’s always easy to share the things we’re grateful for, but once the discussion turns to election results or climate change, all bets are off. 😬
The good news?
Getting to the bottom of dinner-table discord is easier than you might think.
🧠 For one thing, our brains hate change.
Thanks to survival instincts—and identity preservation—we push back against evidence that runs counter to our beliefs.
We’re also overconfident that we’re right. So we dislike information that contradicts our beliefs (‘cognitive dissonance’)—and seek out evidence that affirms them (‘confirmation bias’).
🔮 For another thing, we’re not mind-readers.
We tend to misread our sparring partner when we try to predict their next argument. Behavioral science calls this ‘conversational forecasting error’—and it explains a lot.
Like why we underestimate people’s willingness to learn about opposing views—and blow the differences between our beliefs out of proportion.
In many ways, we’re biologically wired to defend ourselves.
But courtesy of behavioral science, our family debates don’t have to end in mud-slinging.
This Thanksgiving, we’re sharing 4 tips for more productive conversations—and more peaceful meals 👇
1️⃣ Make your intentions heard—literally.
When we make our intentions known—and make space for others to do the same—we open the door to more fruitful conversations.
So instead of demanding justifications for people’s beliefs, ask what motivates them instead.
2️⃣ Show receptivity—and be sincere about it.
Even well-meaning smiles and nods can come across as dismissive or inauthentic. Instead, paraphrase your partner’s words back to them—and allow space for silence.
This gives them room to process, respond, and correct misunderstandings.
3️⃣ Ask more (meaningful) questions.
Research tells us that asking more questions increases likeability. So ask away—but make sure to come across as curious instead of defensive.
You can do this by asking plenty of exploratory follow-up questions—while keeping simplistic (yes/no) and rhetorical ones to a minimum.
4️⃣ Use Conversational Prompts
Don’t shy away from preparing prompts ahead of time. After all, being able to deftly switch topics can help to keep your conversation friendly (and interesting!).
A little prep can also go a long way in adding enjoyment, reducing anxiety, and boosting confidence.
So, while no one magic bullet can save us from every tough conversation this holiday season?
With behavioral science on our side, we can greet our loved ones with brave faces and open minds.
To learn more, read the full article by Evelyn Gosnell and Monica Zhang at the link in comments. 👇
#BehavioralScience #BehavioralEconomics #Psychology #Thanksgiving
