Building rapport

- It's ironic, but the more technology becomes a part of our everyday lives, emailing people all the time, interacting on social media, doing video calls and webinars, the more our interpersonal communication skills become critical. That's because there's more room for misunderstanding when we're not communicating face-to-face. And frankly, we have less practice getting it right than we did in the past when we didn't have any other options. So wouldn't it be nice if we could solve communication problems before they started, before your words were misinterpreted, or someone got the wrong idea or took offense? Well, there is something we can do upfront that makes it far more likely that'll be the case and that's investing time and energy in building rapport with other people. If you don't know someone that well, it's easy to miss clues in their communication or imagine the worst scenario. Did that email seem a little curt? Was she offended that you asked more questions of your other coworker during the call? You don't know, so you worry. But if you've already built a solid rapport with someone and created a sense of trust and mutual positive feeling, then they are a lot more likely to give you the benefit of the doubt when you're interacting with them. If they're troubled by something you've said, they'll probably ask you instead of secretly fuming. And if you make a mistake as we all do sometimes, they'll probably be gracious about it because they understand you didn't have bad intentions. So how do we get there? The first step, according to eminent psychologist, Robert Cialdini, is to find a commonality with them. It doesn't have to be huge or profound. It could be that you both enjoy sports or you have dogs or you live in the same neighborhood, but it's a good way to break the ice, give you something to talk about, and show that you can relate and you're on the same team. It's a building block that enables you to go deeper with them. Second, look for opportunities to be helpful where you can. If your coworker is struggling with a task or they're underwater with a big project, offer to lend a hand, or if you have some insights or resources that could be helpful, share them. People remember that sort of kindness because frankly, it's rare because people are busy or they just don't think of it. But if you're proactive in offering help, it creates a positive cycle in your relationship. Finally, something else that makes a big difference is really listening when you're engaging with that person. So often, especially at work, we're rushing around, trying to meet deadlines and get things done and relationship building takes a backseat but that's actually counterproductive because it's the strength of your relationships that allows you to build trust and get more done faster. So when you're with that person, slow down. Don't multitask and try to answer emails while they're talking to you. Focus on what they're saying. Don't interrupt them and ask questions to draw them out. If it's of interest, I actually have a full LinkedIn learning course on listening skills. You can check out for more information. Honestly, it doesn't take that much to build rapport with your colleagues, but not enough people make the effort. So when you do, there's a powerful impact on your ability to connect and build rapport which leads to better communication.