From the course: Nano Tips to Enhance Your Communication with Shadé Zahrai

Moving from "but" to "and"

From the course: Nano Tips to Enhance Your Communication with Shadé Zahrai

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Moving from "but" to "and"

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How often do you use the word 'but'? That was great. But I like the idea. But the problem with this three letter word is that it's inherently negative, and it negates whatever precedes it. So try replacing 'but' with 'and'. That's a great idea. But we don't have time and we can see if we have time for it in future. You were great in that meeting, but you could speak with more confidence, and this will help your confidence next time. Your performance has been strong, but you need to improve your retention, and here are some suggestions for continued improvement. When you use the word 'but' you unintentionally block the free flow of ideas and invalidate the person which can lead to defensiveness and undermines your relationship. The principle of swapping 'but' for 'and' was founded in improvisational comedy, and it's such a simple, collaborative communication technique that can completely transform your relationships.

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