We’re continually bombarded with suggestions: go jet skiing, study in Colorado, visit the Maldives, see the Pyramids. Friends share amazing things they’ve done: great bars, weddings in country churches, picnics, Sydney Harbour. Articles about Brooklyn restaurants, crime novels set in Trieste, and airport departure boards show us what we’re missing. Modern culture ensures we experience intense and painful FOMO (Fear Of Missing Out).
There are two ways to view missing out: a Romantic or Classical approach.
To the Romantic temperament, missing out causes immense agony. Noble and interesting people are living the life that should be yours. It makes you want to burst into tears. The Romantic believes in a defined centre where exciting things happen: New York, Berlin, London, San Francisco, and maybe soon, Auckland or Rio. The Romantic sees humanity divided into the mediocre and the elect: artists, entrepreneurs, creatives in tech. Being around unglamorous, unambitious people feels fatal.
Classically-minded people acknowledge marvellous things but doubt glamour is a good guide. The best novel may be written by an arthritic woman in Liepāja. Good qualities coexist with ordinary ones. Famous people can be dull; obscure ones remarkable. The classical temperament fears missing out on truly knowing parents, coping alone, appreciating nature, and having deep conversations, rather than just stylish bars and creatives.
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