David Davies’ Post

I think Emotional Intelligence starts with awareness. Around the time I was seven I became aware that shouting and stamping my feet resulted in a smack and being pleasant and kind resulted in sweets. I went for sweets. When I worked in bars I found that being pleasant and kind resulted in tips. When I started on the Post Office counter I was told off for being too nice to customers. I asked what the problem was. I was told they would all come to my till. I said if we are all nice they will spread out again. That resulted in someone not talking to me for a week. As a salsman I was once asked by an engineer how I could live in a spiritual community and lie as a salesman. I explained that I found if you take the trouble to find out about a business and the people you are dealing with, selling is simply matching what something they need with something your company can supply. When a major retailer wrote to my company to tell us how bad we were, two days after I took over the account, I told them I would sort out the issue. All business is just people. Their people didn’t like our people and vice versa. None of them really knew each other, so I arranged a games party and a job swop. All the issues went away tbc

If you to actively seek this a quality- there is something fundamentally wrong with the population! Surly having empathy is a basic human quality, unless of course you seek completely narcissistic people?

I'd propose that we upgrade the term 'soft skills' to hardcore skills, or something much more dynamic. Of course, I understand the reasoning behind the label, but oftentimes 'soft skills' sound like the add-on 'poor relation'. Perhaps we can better reflect the fact that they ain't floaty or 'farty' or fluffy, rather a radical prerequisite for all of us if we want to shape generous, creative and effective workplaces.

I wrote my MBA thesis on EQ many years ago, and yet we still talk about it today. Not much has changed despite people being more aware of it. It's about taking actions, being the good boss, and being self aware. Since adding mindfulness training, coaching, and other 'tools' to my 'tool box', I couldn't imagine a world without EQ and application of EQ in the workplace. Too often do I see leaders not being emotional aware, 'blind' even and as a result you see churn of excellent employees. Shame, but how do we change it? How much more training do I need to offer?

I won't dispute this but what I've learned that it's not very effective if you find that you're working amongst a load of deadwood back stabbing tossers who keep the glass ceiling pulled across you in order to protect their own self interest. Hence, I left that job and they've since closed down their underperforming office....pyrrhic victory LOL.

I think employees are putting up with less rudeness and disrespect in all aspects of their lives. I believe they value family time more today then they ever have. When career, job hunting they are looking for what’s best for them and their families and not necessarily the highest paying position. And having a good relationship with their boss is critically important simply because the job suddenly becomes less stressful. Employees will gladly accept a better relation with their boss over a higher salary. The grass is not always greener in the other side of the fence. Personally I have chosen to take my boss out to lunch once a week and now he enjoys taking me out to lunch as well. It’s important to see each other as friends, have interest in one another’s lives after all we aren’t robots, yet.

EQ in spades but what personality type actually gets the promotion? Mmmm it is usually the individual that does not like people and is out to serve only themselves. The ones that hide in their office and no one can ever find them, or they cannot even be bothered to tell the team that they are no longer going to be managing you. Let's face it the work culture in the uk nurtures the bully! Those with good EQ finish last sadly. I suppose this is why such key skills are labelled soft. Exhibit too much soft skills and you will be trampled on

I completely agree! I am a children’s book illustrator, my characters have loads of emotions and I hold illustration workshops to promote this in primary/special needs schools. I think it’s so important to teach children at a very young age to be self-aware and explore their emotions and carry these skills through to adulthood and the work place. Too many managers do not know how to manage people! #emotionalintelligence #leadershipdevelopment #softskillsdevelopment

One needs to be careful about putting all your eggs in one basket with EQ. It can be effective when allied to things like persistence, zeal, self-control, character and authenticity. There is no one size fits all though and those for example who claim that EQ is 75% of management are clearly promoting snake oil. A whole range of skills in varying percentages of importance in line with specific circumstances are the key to good management, so flexibility, agility and creativity linked to exceptional listening skills are indispensable. Remember too that we are now facing the reality of ‘quiet quitters’.

It’s Sunday afternoon and I’m reading this rather lazily and so please forgive me if I’ve missed anything. I wanted to call out something which is along similar lines but which was introduced to me many years ago as Emotional Resilience. This to me is an extension of Emotional Intelligence whilst some may see it as intrinsic I know. Whilst Emotional Intelligence begins with recognising the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune; Emotional Resilence is about successfully dealing with them. Recognising the distinction and addressing it, is probably an element of your Emotional Intelligence I suspect?