Debbie Riley’s Post

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Talking From Experience - Lived / Living Experience Speaker

A couple of behaviours I exhibited when I was experiencing anorexia nervosa that were examples of my need to have as few calories as possible and burn as many as possible However when explored deeper they infact have zero to do with calories or an eating disorder. Behaviour linked to anorexia nervosa 1. I don't drink alcohol - it has calories in. I am not wasting calories on liquids. If I have to have calories I will have them in food. There are plenty of liquids with zero calories in I can have as an alternative. There isn't such an equivalent in food. 2. I am always in trainers - I had a very toxic relationship with exercise during experiencing anorexia nervosa. Exercise meant burning calories and allowed me to eat the little i did. I would do 6 hours in the gym everyday, exercise at home and walk continuously just plodding the streets walking miles. Deeper exploration discovered an alternative narrative. 1. I don't drink alcohol - As a trauma response I have always been on alert, always on guard and always on the looking for danger. There is no way I would drink alcohol and put myself in a positive where I could be less than 100% alert. 2. I am always in trainers - As a trauma response I am always ready to respond. I need to be ready I don't feel safe if not (well not safe but safer). I need to be ready the flee or fight. flip-flops, heels would hinder this. Weird how behaviours look on the surface but have a deeper function as well. For me for a long time it was easier to blame anorexia nervosa than accept and acknowledge my behaviour was a trauma response to being sexually abused and raped as a child. #livedexperience #eatingdisorders #traumaresponse #traumainformed #childsexabuse #mentalhealth

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