I wonder if you have encountered that colleague or friend that keeps giving unsolicited advice or suggestions. This can feel intrusive and undermine your confidence. Take the situation where a colleague jumps in to suggest different ways to interpret data you are presenting that puts you in an uncomfortable position in front of senior leaders. Or when a senior member at the meeting points out flaws before fully understanding your plans, or gives input on topics where they’re not the expert but you are. While it is important to be open to new ideas and feedback, we need to trust our own expertise and insights. What can you do to stay open minded without feeling pushed around? First, frame your ideas as a decision, not a discussion. Try saying “We have decided to do X because of Y and Z benefits.” instead of “I’m thinking about plan X.” You can also use phrases like “After doing my research, I am committed to go with X.” Or something like “Having assessed the situation, we are moving forward with X” underlines that you are sharing information, not soliciting feedback nor looking for input.. Second, by demonstrating that your idea has backing is a smart way to signal that what you are presenting has been validated or found support within the organization or outside. Where possible, mention any positive results or progress made. By saying “We’ve just started X, and already we’re seeing Y result,” subtly implies that you are on the right track and not looking for alternatives. To politely regain control over a conversation, combine a compliment with a boundary. Signal that while you value someone’s input, you’re not currently looking for other ideas. Use phrases like: “I appreciate where you’re going with this, but to meet our deadlines we need to continue with what we are doing” or “Thanks for your suggestions. Having deliberated and considered many options, we have chosen to commit to X. We’ll keep your ideas in mind for the future.” Sometimes saying something like“Those are interesting thoughts. For consistency’s sake, we’re going to follow our current strategy until we have more data, but I’m open to your suggestions” allows you space to stay firm with what you are planning. Be clear about the type of input you are open to by asking for what you need. For example, “At this point, I’m specifically looking for feedback on managing the budiget, rather than exploring new features.” Or, “This is an update on the progress we’ve made rather than brainstorming other concepts.” While unsolicited advice can be annoying, it also gives us an opportunity to learn how to stand up for ourselves by clearly, kindly, and assertively sidestepping such situations. This podcast drew inspiration from “When a Coworker Keeps Giving You Unsolicited Advice”, by Melody Wilding, Harvard Business Review July 11, 2024
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Gordon YH Tan Great sharing! Thanks for the helpful tips 🙏
Project Expert, Product Launch, Technology Team at Pepperl+Fuchs
6moGood point!