Jacob Hawk, Ph.D.’s Post

View profile for Jacob Hawk, Ph.D., graphic

Helping you solve problems and find peace

A "Friendly" Church or a Church of Friends? Leading church consultants advocate that for churches to grow, being “friendly” is mandatory. Even beyond modern facilities, engaging programs, and deep community thumbprints, if a church is cold and unwelcoming, it will struggle to even maintain its membership, and growth is out of the picture. This profound discovery certainly doesn’t qualify as rocket science. Churches are in the “People Business,” and if churches aren’t good with people, their “business” will crater. But churches can distort the portrait of a “friendly” church. To be a “friendly” church, it requires more than being outgoing or bubbly. In fact, being friendly really isn’t that rare. You know who else is friendly? -        A Chick-Fil-A Worker -        A Salesman (When he thinks you’re going to buy…. anything) -        A Wal-Mart Greeter (Most of the time) -        A School Crossing Guard -        My Neighbor’s Dog Oh, they’re all very friendly—warm, gregarious, thoughtful—the whole nine yards, but unsurprisingly, I don’t have any plans to make Chick-Fil-A, a retail store, Wal-Mart, school zones, or my neighbor’s backyard, my spiritual community. I doubt that you do either. There must be more to a friendly church than smiley extroverts. I recently heard a very wise minister and a great friend offer this insightful wisdom— “PEOPLE AREN'T LOOKING FOR A FRIENDLY CHURCH. PEOPLE ARE LOOKING FOR A FRIEND." “Friendly” requires a smile or a handshake. “Friend” demands commitment and loyalty. “Friendly” can be taught. “Friend” can only be learned. And a friend is what people want. Even more so, a friend is what people need. We’ve likely attended or visited churches that diagnosed themselves as “friendly” when no one spoke to us. They may not have even noticed us. Before we lay down the judgment gauntlet, it’s healthy to confess that if we’ve been in a church or Bible class for decades, it’s easy to focus on our habitual spheres of influence. We can all improve in this area. But even if we speak to every person and shake every hand, that’s not enough. People don’t want a “friendly” church, they want a friend. They want someone who is willing to say with their words, and prove with their actions, “I care.”   “I’m here.”   “I’m not going anywhere.”   “And whatever challenges come, whatever baggage you bring, we will walk through the mess together, step by step.” Who can you be a friend to this Sunday? And next Sunday? And every Sunday? Churches that focus more on being friends than being friendly will grow faster than they can ever imagine. After all, it was once said of Jesus Christ, the head of the church, “A man of many companions may come to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother” (Proverbs 18:24, NIV). Is your church “friendly” or full of friends? Jacob Hawk, Ph.D.

  • No alternative text description for this image
Michael Garner

Controller at David Allen Company, Inc.

7mo

Great insight and definitely worth pondering! Jacob Hawk, Ph.D.

Like
Reply

To view or add a comment, sign in

Explore topics