Pen Parentis’ Post

Speaking and presenting on fatherhood, particularly during its early stages, hasn't always been met with open arms or enthusiastic acceptance. There was a time when discussing the role of fathers in the upbringing of children wasn't a popular or widely acknowledged topic. Nevertheless, I remained steadfastly dedicated to the mission of educating, informing, and advocating for fathers. I understand deeply the critical role a father's presence plays in the developmental and emotional well-being of a child. Research consistently highlights that when fathers are actively engaged, children benefit immensely in various aspects of life. For instance, studies have shown that children with involved fathers are more likely to excel academically, exhibit healthier self-esteem, and develop stronger social connections. This involvement also positively impacts their cognitive development and reduces the likelihood of behavioral issues. Despite the challenges and occasional skepticism I face, messages of support and gratitude from individuals who have been touched by my efforts serve as a powerful source of inspiration. These messages invigorate me and affirm the importance of my work, motivating me to continually evolve and advance in my advocacy for fatherhood. It is this encouragement that fuels my passion to persist, grow, and make a difference in the lives of fathers and their children.

My Book Synopsis: Many books delve into the various stages of motherhood: nurturing a newborn, guiding a toddler, supporting a preschooler, navigating the school years, and surviving the teenage phase. However, the longest and often most challenging phase of motherhood—being a mother to an adult child—remains uncharted territory until now. ‘The Sound of Waves— Empty Nest Journey' uniquely blends ancient Eastern philosophies and modern Western psychology. It offers a comprehensive and holistic approach to the emotional and uncertain journey we all face once our children leave home. This heartfelt and transformative companion is filled with tender advice, joyful activities, touching real-life stories, and practical steps to guide you through this transition. ‘Sound of Waves’ encourages you to take an active role in this new chapter and find meaning, joy, and unexpected excitement in the transformative experience after our kids leave home. In this book, we explore the question: What awaits me once my babies leave home? This self-help guide will take a deep dive into navigating through this new phase. We will investigate and put steps in place to: -Tenderly embrace and understand the complex emotions of watching your children leave home. -Gently explore your new self, discovering passions and interests beyond parenthood. - Deepen connections with your partner, friends, and family(particularly adult children), forging meaningful bonds. -Devote time to nurturing your personal development and well-being. - Envision a bright and fulfilling future that excites and inspires you. As you embark on this emotional voyage, you'll be supported by the wisdom of empty nesters who have walked this path before you. Their stories and insights will serve as beacons of hope and guidance.  ‘Sound of Waves’ not only provides guidance but also encourages you to take an active role in this new chapter. It inspires you to find meaning, joy, and unexpected excitement in the transformative experience of an empty nest, empowering you to shape your own journey.  Available lieslhermannauthor.com

"That's My Dad"! Be the kind of Dad your children will be proud of. During a speech by Vice President nominee Tim Walz, his son, Gus, jumped up shouting, “That’s my dad"! This moment struck a chord with many. It reminded me that no matter the accolades or titles we may attain in life — our children will be most grateful to us for showing up for in the everyday moments in their lives. In today's world, fathers often feel the pressure to be perfect, but what our children need most is our presence. Whether it's helping with homework or simply offering a listening ear, great dads are those who are "there". Walz's life and speech highlighted three key qualities that every father can strive for: 1. Great Dads are Present. You don’t need to be extraordinary—just engaged in your children’s lives. 2. Great Dads are Kind. Show compassion, not just to your children, but to others. 3. Great Dads provide security. Make your children feel safe and confident knowing you’ll always be there for them. These simple actions can make a profound difference in a child’s life, and one day they may look up and proudly say, “That’s my dad!” Read more on the qualities that make great fathers in my latest substack post below. #fatherhood #leadership #family #parenting #mensmentalhealth #childdevelopment

Our Children: A Reflection of Ourselves Parenthood teaches us something profound — our kids are both the best of us and, sometimes, the worst of us. I see it in my daughter. She embodies the best qualities of both me and her mother. She is kind, brilliant, and driven to prove herself. But she also gets easily irritated in crowded places, grows frustrated at traffic, and has a strong desire to always be right — no matter the cost. That made me reflect: our actions, words, and habits have a ripple effect on our children. We constantly hope for their success, praying they become a thousand times happier, stronger, and kinder than we ever were. But this dream requires something from us too. If you want your child to be stronger, you must first show them strength. If you want them to be kind, you must embody kindness. If you want them to be resilient, you must model resilience in your own life. Our children mirror us, amplifying both our strengths and weaknesses. They look up to us, not only for guidance but also as the blueprint for how to navigate the world. So, as parents, let’s hold ourselves accountable — to grow, to evolve, and to lead by example. Because at the end of the day, our children are a reflection of the love, values, and lessons we pass down to them. They are both the best and worst versions of us. The question is: what kind of legacy are we leaving for them to inherit?

The meaning of Father's Day encompasses various aspects of fatherhood, including: 1. Learning on the job: Fatherhood is a continuous learning process, where fathers adapt and grow alongside their children. 2. Embracing wins and losses: Fathers celebrate their children's accomplishments and provide support during challenging times. 3. Having difficult conversations: Fathers engage in open and honest discussions with their children, addressing tough topics and guiding them through life's complexities. 4. Incorporating experiences: Fathers draw from their own childhood experiences, both positive and negative, to shape their role as a father and offer empathetic guidance to their children. 5. Accepting responsibility: Fathers understand that their role is multifaceted, consisting of wisdom, victories, failures, and opportunities. They continuously adjust and improve their approach to healthy fatherhood. 6. Being humble: Fathers embrace humility, recognizing that they are not perfect and learning from their mistakes. 7. Encouraging communication: Fathers create a safe space for their children to express themselves, fostering confidence and openness in discussing any topic. 8. Admitting mistakes and learning: Fathers admit when they make errors and use those experiences as opportunities for growth and learning. 9. Establishing accountability: Fathers set expectations and boundaries for their children, teaching them the importance of accountability and responsibility. 10. Being present: Fathers prioritize being actively engaged and involved in their children's lives, cherishing moments and creating lasting memories together. These aspects collectively define the meaning of Father's Day, celebrating the unique and vital role that fathers play in their children's lives. #fatherhood #love Ashton Cumberbatch, Jr. Eric McNulty Dain Dunston Eric Wadsworth Phil Boyer Joseph B. Agyei Perry Francis Ron Williams Paul Nguyen Gabe Gallardo Rafael De La Paz

Worth a read! Lenore Skenazy talks with Ellen Galinsky about autonomy-supportive parenting, a critical form of hands-off yet supportive parenting style that involves (you guessed it) being open to uncertainty. As I have mentioned, helicopter parenting is a futile search for certainty. In contrast, autonomy-supportive parenting is a risk-taking that allows your child to thrive. And the bonus: by allowing a child to make their own way in the world, you learn more about who they truly are, not who you want or assume them to be. Read more in Ellen's excellent new book on teens, The Breakthrough Years.

The amazing Lenore Skenazy and I have been talking about the science behind giving kids more independence and helping them learn skills to take on the challenges in their lives. Here is the resulting blog!! So honored to be on Let Grow: https://lnkd.in/etX4KwgZ

Research tells us that children start forming a sense of self and understanding of differences as early as age three. I keep that in mind as I grow my show as these early years are foundational—shaping not only how children see themselves but also how they relate to others and the world around them. That’s why our puppets, like the one you see in this pic, are more than just toys; they’re tools that empower children to ask big questions like “Who am I?” and “Where do I fit in?” Through our storytelling, our characters, and our shows, we aim to create a safe, supportive space where children can explore the complexities of identity, belonging, and community values. It's about building an environment that helps children build confidence, resilience, and empathy. And in a world where connection and understanding are more essential than ever, starting this journey early gives our children a lifelong foundation for both self-awareness and compassion for others. Nguzo Babies is here to ensure that children aren’t left wondering who they are or where they belong. Because we all belong. Our quest for understanding ourselves as individuals is so that we can best figure out our space as part of the whole and how we can best serve others through our purpose. We’re here to support a generation that is self-assured, culturally aware, and emotionally intelligent, because we believe that’s the foundation for a kinder, more inclusive future.

What is a Vision or Mission Statement? I had the privilege of participating in an Early Intervention Program that introduced me to the power of vision and mission statements. In 2007, I crafted a vision statement for my three-year-old son, and today, as a college sophomore, he has realized that vision. This practice can be applied at any stage of your child's life, as parental expectations play a pivotal role in a child's development. A vision statement reflects what you envision for your child's future. Rather than letting professionals shape those dreams, consider what you and your child aspire for in their life at age 22. For instance, envision academic progress, physical health optimization, independence, and self-advocacy skills for your child. A mission statement outlines your child's yearly goals to align with your vision statement. Advocating for your child's long-term vision is crucial, as school systems often focus on short-term nine-month objectives. Don't let anyone deter you from pursuing your child's dreams or limit their potential. Setting a vision for your child's future is essential to avoid external influences steering their life course. It is vital to encourage a positive and limitless future with your child while focusing on their strengths. Surround them with individuals who appreciate and value them, as children often mirror the reflections they see in adults' eyes. Let's empower our children to live their best lives by fostering a supportive and encouraging environment.

A few principles I believe in? Share a few thoughts around these I’ve mentioned and also add a few to the list you believe in. Let’s keep the list going. 1. I believe when you give your word, that is what happens. 2. I believe in being responsible for my own actions. I’ll take the consequences for bad choices and accept the rewards for good ones. 3. I’ll pay my way. I don’t need or want anyone to pay for my decisions or obligations. 4. I choose to live my life based on truth. For me, God’s Word is truth. I don’t like all of it, but I can’t pick and choose. I either accept it and believe it, or I don’t. I do. I believe it’s God-inspired and infallible. 5. Robin, my wife of 45 years, is my equal. Based on believing God’s word, I lead our home by implementing all the directions God lays out. I know many think this is male chauvinism. It’s not. Robin desires that I love her, cherish her, and lead her. I do. 6. I believe in being my children’s parent, not their friend. If I’m their ‘buddy,’ I can’t be their parent. 7. I believe in consequences for bad behavior. 8. If you tell your children more than once, why should they believe you next time? Make certain your no means no, and your yes means yes. Always try to say yes. 9. I believe in eating meals together. And when we all finish, you can be excused. Oh yeah, the kids help clean up after dinner. 10. I believe in no electronics at the table. 11. I believe your children should address you as “no sir,” “yes sir,” and “please.” 12. I believe I paid too much for our furniture for my children to jump on it. 13. I believe children should not interrupt adults. 14. I believe as adults, we have boundaries so we can give quality time to our families. 15. I believe we, as dads, have a responsibility to provide for every member of our family equally. 16. I believe we should edify our wives and be their biggest supporters and encouragers. 17. I believe I should be last. 18. I believe the best way to show my children love is to love their mother well. 19. I believe that parents can disagree about rearing children privately, but must remain unified in front of them. 20. I believe in showing affection to my children and grandchildren. 21. I believe we should not just show our love but also tell our family regularly that we love them. 22. I believe we should be vulnerable and transparent to a few trusted advisors. 23. I believe you should teach your children, not always do it for them. 24. Finally, I believe being a dad and husband is the greatest joy of my life. P/S. Please post more in the comments below.