Scott D. Anthony’s Post

I used to have a recurring dream. A nightmare, really. It would be the end of the school year, and there was a class I had forgotten to attend (chemistry, for whatever reason). Anxiety would turn into low-grade panic. How had this happened? What would it mean for the year? For my future? With hindsight, this dream shouts “imposter syndrome,” a disconnect between my external reputation and internal sense of self. It’s endemic within consulting, and I felt it even more as someone who became a partner at Innosight at 28, had my first book published at 29, and became Innosight’s global leader at 37. The dream showed an underlying fear that I was a fraud. I remember specific moments, such as the first time I proposed paid work to a client and they said, “wow that seems like a lot.” It was, and my voice may have trembled a bit as I held firm … and we got the work. Or the time in 2004 me and Clark Gilbert keynoted a major conference in Hong Kong, and I wondered who would pay money to hear us speak to hundreds of people. In recent years, the dream stopped. Does that mean whenever I start a new consulting project I brim with confidence, sure it will succeed? That when I step into a room/onto a Zoom to speak I don’t have a pit in the bottom of my stomach? Does it mean that I don't avoid opening up emails from editors because I have low-grade terror that it will contain negative feedback? Do I truly believe I am one of the world's 10 most influential management thinkers? No, of course not. Because I’m a human. I have trials and tribulations and moments where I feel out of my depth. I have quirks, neuroses, skeletons in the closet, past traumas, and family issues. Everyone does. What changed? Through practice, coaching, and hard, often repetitive—and sometimes exceedingly boring—work I have learned how to see, hold, and not succumb to these feelings. I’ve taught colleagues that, when they’ve done the work, they should be confident while also acknowledging the limits of their knowledge. After all, as our co-founder Clayton Christensen always used to teach, there’s something to learn from everyone. I don’t expect that I’ll ever fully defeat the pit-in-the-stomach discomfort. Some part of me will always be afraid I forgot to finish that chemistry class. And that’s good. Because forgetting those things feels like setting down a path to destructive narcissism. I feel fortunate that I have even had the opportunity to worry about imposter syndrome, and even more fortunate that as a while male I haven’t had to deal with the pernicious impact of stereotype threat. I feel proud that I’ve learned how to be comfortable with discomfort. On this international imposter syndrome awareness day, I hope to continue balancing confidence in my own abilities and knowledge with the foundational humility that recognizes there is so, so, so much more to learn.  #NotAnImposter #IISAD2022 #ImposterSyndrome