#09 - Coaching Isn't For Everyone
Dan Haesler
Performance Coach specialising in Mindset, Mental Skills & Leadership. - 'The Act of Leadership' is OUT NOW
Welcome to the 9th edition of The MAD Performance Newsletter, in which I'll share thoughts and resources that can help you towards a more Mindful and Deliberate way of approaching life, leadership, learning and high performance.
In The Act of Leadership I make a throw-away comment that, “Coaching isn’t for everyone, until they realise it is.”
What I mean is, coaching only works when the person being coached - the coachee - wants to be coached and understands the importance of taking ownership of their ‘stuff’.
Up until that point, as a coach, you’re largely wasting your time.
Over the years I’ve learned to recognise certain behaviours that can help me determine whether or not an individual is ready for coaching.
These are the most common:
They focus purely on tactics, tips or hacks.
When I’m invited to give a keynote speech, one of the most common things I hear from the person inviting me is, “They’ll want something they can use first thing Monday morning.” Whilst this might be appropriate for a keynote (and I emphasise the word might) it’s absolutely not the appropriate for coaching.
Coaching is about exploring on a deeper level, and rather than looking for tactics, tips or hacks. More often than not, coaching is about changing your way of being and challenging deeply held beliefs that contribute to self limiting, or sabotaging behaviours and people who look solely for tips and hacks aren’t usually the one's doing the deeper work of reflection.
Until you’re ready to do the work, coaching isn’t for you.
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They never have the time for ‘this type of stuff.’
If I look at what accounts for your time I can get a good sense of what you value. You might say you value something, but if it doesn’t feature in your schedule regularly I will question you.
If we can’t find time in your schedule for coaching, then you don’t value coaching.
Until you value coaching, it isn’t for you.
They only want to talk about other people, and their shortcomings or the challenges they present.
The only factors you can really address are those within your sphere of influence - and that sphere is pretty small.
Coaching is about you, not others.
The only person you can change is yourself.
Until you are ready to work with this mindset, coaching isn’t for you.
Best-selling Personal and Academic Growth Author, Coach and Speaker at the Learning Curve Personal and Academic Growth and Wellbeing Program
1yThanks Dan, much appreciated. I find exactly the same barriers/imposts when people ask about enhancing their state of wellbeing. It get's down to them DOING stuff with a robust work ethic, not getting stuff DONE for or to them. Keep up the great work, Mick