10 Pieces of Advice for my Unborn Family.

Written for my son's soon-to-be cousin, Theo. 💕

1. Prioritize Relationships. At the end of the day, it all comes down to people. When you’re old, you’ll measure your success by your relationships, not your monetary wealth. These relationships can be family, friends, romantic partners, whatever. But they need to be long-term. There’s nothing like continuity over time. I’ve known (and loved) your mother for her entire life, and that’s powerful. Also, she looks great in a cowboy hat.

2. Learn From the Past. You’ve been alive since 2023. Humans have been recording history for thousands of years. It might seem like the problems you experience are new and unique, but they’re not. The story of a human life, a business, or a movement has been told and retold countless times. I prefer books, but there’s nothing wrong with video, audio, or whatever works for you. Learn from those who came before you and you’ll go farther, faster. Let me know if you want any recommendations.

3. Be Tolerant of Diverse Opinions. At some point, you will meet people who disagree with you about important issues. That’s ok! That doesn’t mean they’re evil. Would you want them to think you’re evil because you think something different than them? Absolutely not. It’s very unpopular to like people with different views from yourself these days, and it’s a tragedy. Be kind and open to people who are different from you across political, cultural, and socioeconomic dimensions.

4. Question Everything. Some people don’t like this, but I encourage you not to believe things just because someone else told you. This applies even to things I (or your mom or dad) tell you. Nobody knows everything. Everyone is wrong sometimes. The great discoveries of humanity (whether scientific, economic, or cultural) were created by people who went against what society taught them. There is great power in thinking for yourself. That being said, part of the challenge is to find a balance, so you don’t go insane or become too obnoxious to other people. This will require trial and error and is difficult.

5. Travel. If you live in only one place, you know only one world. There are an infinite number of cultures, experiences, and relationships to find outside of where you grew up. You’ll grow up with the biases of your homeland, and that’s ok. But you can’t truly evolve to the next level of human until you truly understand another society. Then, you can evaluate the best parts of your culture, their culture, and forge your own identity. Try repeating this several times.

6. Choose Your Career Wisely. There is no perfect career. Nobody is happy with their work 100% of the time. However, a rewarding career comes from the intersection of (a) passion for your work (do you like it?), (b) market demand (do people need your goods/services?), and (c) skill (are you good at it?). If you can hit 70% on a, b, and c, you’re good. You can always change your mind later.

7. Take Care of Your Body. You only get one body, and it’s fragile. There are certain things that can kill you over time, such as lack of exercise or poor nutrition. Other things can kill you immediately, like drug overdoses or drowning. The difficult thing is that many things that are fun are bad for you. You’ll need to find a balance that works for you, but hopefully the balance will allow you to keep your body and mind well into old age.

8. Tell the Truth. Sometimes you will have to lie. That’s life. But tell the truth as much as you can. The more you lie, the more stressful your life becomes. Don’t lie to those you love. Don’t lie about important things. Don’t lie about things that can come back to haunt you. A lie is a short-term fix that creates large, long-term problems.

9. Take the Middle Way. You will be confronted with extreme ideas throughout your life. One of these extremes might seem appealing to you. However, extremes typically aren’t the best answer. For example, I once worked all the time and was unhappy with my job. I prioritized work over relationships. In reaction, I quit my job and moved to South America (which is where I met your wonderful Aunt). After a period of trying to live in one extreme (and then the other extreme), I settled on a middle ground, where I work hard but prioritize relationships. This is a tricky business. In some cases, you might decide that a certain extreme works for you, and that’s fine. I would just always suggest trying both extremes before forming an opinion. Trying both extremes also permits you to be empathetic to people with other opinions, because you’ve actually lived their life to some extent.

10. Think Long Term. This is honestly the most important one. It applies to everything. If you can delay gratification, you will succeed. In relationships, work, and any other projects you take on. Think in terms of decades, not years, months, weeks, or minutes. In many cases, this required working harder and sacrificing comfort today for benefits that come tomorrow. This requires balance. In many cases, it’s essential to deprioritize work for the benefit of relationships. This is hard and requires careful thought. Having children (like your mom and dad are thankfully doing) is one of the key long-term decisions in my opinion. I must say that rocking your cousin Adrian to sleep at 3am (which I did today) was not fun. But in the morning, I get to see a smile on his face that warms my heart. And when I’m 60 years old, I hope to live a life filled with children and grandchildren. That’s not to say you need to have kids – you should do whatever works for you. But I think many young people today underestimate the deep meaning and long-term benefits of having a family. A good rule of thumb is to look back from 10 years in the future. How would you wish you acted today? That’s how you should act.