12 communication mistakes to be improved for better relationships.

You have enemies? Good. That means you’ve stood up for something, sometime in your life”. Winston Churchill

Winston Churchill is one of the most quoted leaders of all time. 

During one of the darkest periods in history he resided over a country that required; hope, strength, resilience and courage.

His genius was remaining calm under pressure and he exhibited supreme confidence.

He offered short statements that were poignant, eloquent and incredibly powerful. Things people easily remembered and gave them reassurance during their hour of despair.   

We can learn a lot from great communicators, especially from the things they DON’T DO.

Here are 12 mistakes people make that adversely impact effective communication:

“You will never get to the end of the journey if you stop to throw a stone at every dog that barks”. Winston Churchill

Not me. When professional athletes use words like ME, and I opposed to WE. It says a lot about how they view their “importance” on the TEAM. This subtle shift can be the difference between a perception of arrogance and humility. 

Eye contact. Looking at our phones or constantly glancing over at whoever walks in the door leaves the impression of not feeling important. Focus on providing the other person with your undivided attention, which includes eye contact.

Interrupting. When we interrupt someone, it says what we have to say is more important than what they are attempting to communicate. 

Body language. 90% of our intended meaning is conveyed through body language. That’s enormous and often misunderstood. Let’s pay attention to how our body is communicating.

Repeat. It’s always a good idea to paraphrase what the other person said to ensure what they MEANT is clearly understood. Demonstrate we are HEARING what the other person has to say.

Assumptions. Ever watch a crowd when somebody is speaking? People often roll their eyes or drift off assuming they know what the person is going to say. Resist. Nobody likes feeling ignored, so let’s challenge ourselves to prevent other people from feeling ignored.

Ask questions. By asking questions we make it clear we are engaged in the conversation. Probing questions indicated genuine interest in the discussion.

Inquire. We all know people that spend most of the time talking about themselves. It gets tiring. Wouldn’t it be nice if they expressed interest in our life? Of course, and it’s easy to do by simply ASKING.

Compromise. Relationships aren’t about winning. Admitting when we are wrong and taking responsibility goes along way toward diffusing confrontation. Acknowledge mistakes and resist the temptation to WIN disagreements.    

Personal attacks. When disagreements escalate into heated arguments its easy for people to get personal. You jerk. Learning to disagree with their WORDS and not attack their CHARACTER is critical.

Clarify. We often expect people to read our minds, especially those closest to us. Ironically, women speak more indirectly and often get misunderstood. By speaking directly, we encourage the person to truly hear what we say.

Empathy. Letting go of the need to be right and appreciate the other persons perspective is liberating. Empathy demands recognizing another person’s point of view from their personal experience. Arguing about religion or politics is futile and only ruins real connections. 

“Courage is what it takes to stand up and speak. Courage is also what it takes to sit down and listen”. 

Sum it up

Ironically most schools don’t teach children to communicate well. How to listen. Paraphrase. Be empathetic and compassionate. Teaching better communication skills should be mandatory, but it isn’t. This translates into adults that communicate poorly.

What other common communication mistakes do we make? Please like and share this article and include your thoughts in the comments section below. I love learning from you as well.

About Steve:

Steve Wohlenhaus is CEO of Weatherology, the leading company in the world at disseminating audio weather information.  Steve began his career as a major market television weather anchor in Minneapolis, where he received several Emmy Awards for science programming. Steve is an author and host of the post program Anatomy of Success. Reach out and connect with me on LinkedIn and grab the free Weatherology mobile by clicking any image in this article.