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CDO Unplugged. A blog at the traffic circle of professional, personal,
technical and healthcare. Opinions my own.         

Career and family are not as cheery as we often like to portray. We are quick to post and boast our success. Nothing wrong with that. Provides encouragement and vision for others to become their best self. I do it. Leaders rarely show the same transparency in failures. We feel shame. We feel inadequate. We feel as if frauds. We fear what others think. Take solace in this if nothing else... Everyone has failed. Good people fail. Bad people fail. It is human to fail. We should post all our failures and lessons learned.

I failed many times and suspect I will again. I failed my first marriage. That was horrible beyond words! When I wed at 20 I never imagined I would break my vow 30 years in. And hurt others in the process. I am no longer ashamed but took me a while to get to that place of acceptance and heal. I took the hard lessons and applied them to my second marriage. Six years strong.

I was fired once. That was miserable. When your identity is wrapped in your work and you are fired. Smackdown. Being fired is a hard and lonely place to be. I learned not to get intoxicated by those things that fade and rust. I hired someone who told me they were fired during an interview. I figured it they were strong enough to admit this, they were strong enough for my team.

I flunked school. I drank way too much. I was broke and broken with no place to go. Abandoned by those who once expressed love. People once called friends disappeared. I can relate to many stories. Too many! I vowed to no longer judge or turn away. I aim to press in.

                       Life and work are not easy!        

A year after my widow maker I got hit with prostate cancer. Talk about a spear through your heart and kick in the balls! I was living the healthiest lifestyle and enjoying a successful amateur triathlon career racing for TeamUSA. Bam. Staring at the ceiling of an ambulance screaming its way through the city to some hospital cath lab. Unsure of the outcome. Alone. The words, “you have cancer”. Calling my wife to share that news! Why me?! Once saved from death, the real challenge begins. The effort involved in recovery and rehabilitation are intense! None of us are immune from hardships regardless of preparation. Sharing openly has accelerated my own healing and saved countless lives.

Resiliency. My friend Cris and I are writing a book on patient experience. The more we study, research and learn, we see a key to enhanced outcomes is "resiliency". There is a fair amount of clinical research to support this. But what a word, Resiliency. Are you born with it, taught it, develop it? It is likely a combination of each. No matter, we must all work on enhancing our resiliency given its importance to recovering from health or life or work failures.

If resiliency is not innate, you can develop and cultivate. Your family and larger village can be helpful if shaped purposefully. Harnessing personal motivation and conviction is important. As I reflect on my work and personal failures, I am struck by the role of resiliency through faith.  

I climbed the highest mountains and touched the hands of angels. I crawled down to the catacombs and danced with demons and the devil. I been high and been low. I been to places I wish no one to go. I made by bed in hell but was pursued even in the depths. Grace chased me and led me home. Mercy healed me. Love restored me. I saw a picture of what I could be. What I am. I got back up. Ready to live and serve again. Resiliency. 139.