10 Leadership Nuggets from Betty Friedan

Words from a leader of the Women's Movement have relevance and resonance today.

The ground breaking book, The Feminine Mystique, celebrates its 50th anniversary today.

We live in seemingly different times, but so many of the words of its author, Betty Friedan, still have relevance and resonance.

Incredibly impactful, Betty Friedan authored 6 books, and was the founder of the National Organization for Women (NOW) and National Abortion Rights Action League (NARAL).

In her own words, "What I say seems to arouse violent emotions".

Here are my 10 leadership nuggets from Betty Friedan:

1. "There needs to be bolder thinking,...on how to measure the quality of life of men and women in the work force. Currently, success is measured by material advancements. We need to readjust the definition of success to account for time outside of work and satisfaction of life, not just the dollars-and-cents bottom line."

2. “You can have it all, just not all at the same time.”

3. “A good woman is one who loves passionately, has guts, seriousness and passionate convictions, takes responsibility, and shapes society. ”

4. “The key to the trap is, of course, education. The feminine mystique has made higher education for women seem suspect, unnecessary and even dangerous. But I think that education, and only education, has saved, and can continue to save, American women from the greater dangers of the feminine mystique.”

5. “Aging is not 'lost youth' but a new stage of opportunity and strength.”

6. “It is easier to live through someone else than to complete yourself."

7. “It's a different stage of life, and if you are going to pretend it's youth, you are going to miss it. You are going to miss the surprises, the possibilities, and the evolution that we are just beginning to know about because there are no role models and there are no guideposts and there are no signs.”

8. “In almost every professional field, in business and in the arts and sciences, women are still treated as second-class citizens. It would be a great service to tell girls who plan to work in society to expect this subtle, uncomfortable discrimination--tell them not to be quiet, and hope it will go away, but fight it. A girl should not expect special privileges because of her sex, but neither should she "adjust" to prejudice and discrimination”

9. “It is wrong to keep spelling out unnecessary choices that make women unconsciously resist either commitment or motherhood--and that hold back recognition of the needed social changes.”

10. “You can show more of the reality of yourself instead of hiding behind a mask for fear of revealing too much”

You know me well enough to know that 10 isn't enough:

11. “The only way for a woman, as for a man, to find herself, to know herself as a person, is by creative work of her own.”

12. “Just as darkness is sometimes defined as the absence of light, so age is defined as the absence of youth.”

13. "The freedom to lead and plan your own life is frightening if you have never faced it before. It is frightening when a woman finally realizes that there is no answer to the question 'who am I' except the voice inside herself.”

14. “...bowling alleys and supermarkets have nursery facilities, while schools and colleges and scientific laboratories and government offices do not.”

15. “A woman has got to be able to say, and not feel guilty, 'Who am I, and what do I want out of life?' She mustn't feel selfish and neurotic if she wants goals of her own, outside of husband and children.”

A last quote from Betty Friedan that brings us back to an earlier piece I wrote, '10 Leadership Nuggets from Lincoln': "Lincoln is my oldest hero, partly because I'm from Illinois where nobody can grow up without being aware of him, partly because I'm passionate about any kind of emancipation."

If you are interested in learning more about Betty Friedan, there have been a number of profiles and retrospectives written on the occasion of the anniversary of The Feminine Mystique, including Gail Collin's ‘The Feminine Mystique’ at 50 and several articles in the The Atlantic including Why 'The Feminine Mystique' is Still Worth Reading in 2013.

Which are your favorites? Is there one that is missing that should be on the list? Share them below or let me know via Twitter (I'm @lucymarcus)

Karen Fender

VP Strategist at Human Branding, Inc

11y

My thoughts on “Just as darkness is sometimes defined as the absence of light, so age is defined as the absence of youth.” One can grow older and acquire wisdom while retaining a youthful outlook and energy that defies aging.

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Matt Boeckeler

Director | Discovery Sciences | Compound Synthesis and Management @ AstraZeneca Boston

11y

I have 2 daughters. The possibilities for them are endless, as they should be. I will support them no matter what they aspire to do. Richard, I'm with you on #15.

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M.Sohail Anwar

LP CAMERA OPERATOR at JDW SUGAR MILLS LTD.RYK.

11y

Thanks for the really inspiration.

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As a father of 7, I might not be deemed qualified to comment. But I like your 15th best and believe such women deserve the respect and support of partners. Keep growing, Lucy. Rick M

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Samson Matabaro

The founder Director of The Key Ministry international (South Africa)

11y

Thanks sa much and please everyone give her credit for all she does. She deserves the respect of everyone.

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