Business Lunch etiquette: invitation to follow-up

Have you ever wondered, why still today entire books are written on business lunch etiquettes? One might assume, that given today’s communication technology, a formal lunch has lost its purpose. Fact is, one couldn’t be more wrong.

Even though the business lunch itself may have changed (no more smoking, drinking, etc.), it still can be a dealmaker (or a deal breaker). The following article intends to provide a quick list of rules and common mistakes to help you have a successful business lunch and to enjoy your time.

People are more likely to open up and willing to strengthen a business relationship when they are not in the office and can relax. Let’s get started…

The invitation

The goal of a business lunch is not to sign the deal, but to strengthen the business relationship. However, getting the invitation right is the first step that can go wrong. If you are inviting someone to lunch, always consider his or her time, position and the the reason for the lunch. Be straightforward with your invitation, no need to beat around the bush. “I would like to get to know you a little better now that we have been doing business together for half a year.” does the job pretty well.

1) The location

Offer several suggestions and ask your guest to choose the location. Make sure, that the location is not too remote (travel time is dead time, try to limit travel to 10 minutes) and that the venue can be reached easily.

2) Invite well in advance

• Speaking of time, allow your guest to make plans. Being early inviting is another piece of the puzzle and shows your respect for your guest’s position and duties. Depending on the guest’s position/function, 5 days to one month in advance should be fine.
• Once the meeting is confirmed, reserve a table ahead of time to ensure the proper table is available (you wouldn’t want to discuss the budget or details next to the bar).

3) Anticipate your guests’s preferences

Another aspect of the lunch is to show your guest your appreciation for the business and for him or her as a person. Try to anticipate your guest’s preferences when making suggestions. A seafood restaurant is a bad choice if the invitee is allergic to seafood (and so is a steakhouse for a vegetarian).

4) The right place for the right reason

Let the invitee know what you would like to discuss. If the lunch is intended to discuss headcount reductions or budget cuts in general, suggesting expensive restaurants won’t make you look genuine and serious. Choose wisely. There’s nothing wrong about suggesting coffee.

5) Pick guests wisely

If you intend to bring a colleague, let the invitee know in advance and ask if it is ok. Provide a brief introduction of the person you would like to join the lunch. Bringing the company's lawyer sends the wrong signal if legal matters are not on the table. If you thought about inviting your spouse, think again.

6) Re-confirm your invitation

• No need to be formal, but it shows your appreciation. On the day of the lunch, send a brief email confirming the lunch (time, location and guest list). If the meeting is meant to be a 1 on 1, be clear about it in your email and state it: no interlopers, please.
• Also, be clear that you are the host!
• If the location has a specific dress code, let your guest know about it.

The meeting

1) Be on time

It’s hard to make a good impression if you arrive late. Arriving late for the meeting you have set up is evidence for your thoughtlessness or shows that you do not care too much about the meeting.

2) Turn off your cell phone(s)

Once you have arrived first at the venue, turn off your cell phone. Having the meeting get interrupted by incoming messages or calls won’t do your meeting any good. Focus on your guest. If waiting for an important call/message, let your guest know at the beginning. This should be an exception and only be used in emergencies only. Also, excuse yourself from the table when using the cell phone. Do not place your handheld device on the table!

3) Proceeding to the table

As a host, you should wait for your guest in the lobby. As a group, wait in the lobby until the time the reservation has been made for. Then proceed to the table and ask the waiter to escort late guests in. Welcome late guests by standing up, introducing yourself and introducing him or her to the group.

4) Sitting at the wrong table

• Even if the meal, service and the view are perfect, the meeting will not be as useful if you cannot have a private conversation. If you want to talk business in general or discuss details of a deal, ask for a table in a quiet corner. Make sure to do so when making the reservation. A private conversation can only be held if it cannot be overheard by your neighbours.
• If you are not satisfied with the seating ask the waiter politely for a more appropriate table.
• Place the napkin on your lap after the guest(s) is/are seated and sit straight up.

5) Saying the wrong thing

• Do not jump to the reason for the meeting, start having a social conversation like “Where did you grow up?” The primary objective is to engage in a fruitful and relaxed conversation. Do not choose topics that can lure you into a debate, hence stay away from topics like politics and religion (these are not too entertaining anyway). Hobbies and activities are suitable topics until the meal has been ordered and drinks have been served.
• At that time, business talk can be initiated, but try to build the conversation around your guest. This should provide you a clear picture on how you and your company might deepen their relationship with your guest.
• Finally, do not denigrate competitors, it is bad style. If you want to end up on top, make sure you do so because of your relationship with the guest and the service/product that you are pitching.

6) Leave paperwork until the end

• If possible, try to avoid bringing paperwork (or even worse, computers) to the meeting and reduce writing at the table to a minimum. Remember, the lunch is about strengthening the relationship.
• If documents are to be passed on, do so before formally concluding the meeting.

The meal

1) How and what to order

• This might be tricky. Usually, the host orders first. As you did the inviting, ask your guest what he or she would like to have. Avoid hard to eat dishes like burgers, spaghetti or alike.
• If your guest does not order alcohol you should not either. Neither should you order any unfamiliar food. Pay attention to what the guest is ordering and try to match the amount of courses (it is ok to order to an appetiser for main course).

2) During the meal

• If something requires the waiter’s attention, discretely sign the staff and wait until they have approached the table.
• Confused about which silverware to use? Start at the outside and work your way in. When done eating, place the silverware diagonally in 4 o’clock position to signal the waiter that you are done.
• Liquids (drinks) are placed on your right, bread on your left.
• You are not in a hurry, avoid cutting your meal into bite-sized pieces all at once, cut it one piece at a time. And yes, salad should be cut into bite-sized pieces.
• When speaking, make sure you put your silverware on your plate and never speak with your mouth full.
• Try to keep the talking evenly spread. Doing so allows everyone to finish their plate and nobody will end up sitting in front of an empty plate watching the other person finishing their plate.
• At all times keep your elbows off the table and maintain good eye contact.

3) Paying the bill (and tipping)

• As the host, you pay the bill. It’s that simple, no sharing! If the check is handed to the guest ask him or her for the check. This awkward moment can be avoided by letting the waiter know in advance (for instance while being lead to the table).
• Tips are not something your company has to take care of. When paying with your business credit card, try to tip with cash. Not carrying cash with you is no excuse, it is part of the preparations you have to make before the meeting.

4) Ending it the wrong way

Needless to say, a formal conclusion is important. Be brief but not shallow and maintain good eye-contact.

Follow-up

Finally, sending a thank-you-note (or an email) is a great way to recap the conversation. If the lunch did not go as planned, let your guest know about it. This is an opportunity to arrange a future meeting. An example: “Hello Frank, It was a pleasure to sit down with you over lunch today. I’m impressed with the ideas/concepts we discussed. Maybe next time, we could discuss XYZ in more detail. MAKE SUGGESTION FOR FOLLOW-UP MEETING…Best regards, YOUR NAME”