Companies Can't Rite, I Mean Write

At the risk of offending marketing executives around the planet, I am sick to tears of watching companies try to sound human, personable, exciting or perhaps quirky. You cannot be quirky when eight levels of management have to approve your new branding campaign.

Fortunately, people - real people, those with pulses and hair that grows and actual human ancestors - are pretty good at detecting corporate BS.

Before I go any further, let me address those among you who are ready to tell me what a good job Apple has done of creating a distinctive brand and sounding human, personable and exciting. To this I say: name five more companies.

I make my living writing for companies, but I won't ever attempt to write in a company's voice... and you shouldn't either.

Companies have no voices. They are a collection of contracts, processes and financial transactions. They don't go home at night and confront a pile of dirty laundry. They lack kids who couldn't care less about their job title and who just want to hear a bedtime story 24 more times.

This is why I will write for a person within a company, but not for the company itself. People don't want to hear what your company thinks! Your company has no brain, but your employees do. Let your employees talk, and tell your company to go hang out in Accounting.

One of the best side effects of the continuing shift from analog to digital is that corporate catchphrases are giving way to authentic personal voices. Don't get me wrong... I know we have a VERY long way to go, and that all of us are still influenced by bureaucracy, peer pressure, and the very harsh realities of needing to earn a living.

But the more that you can allow authentic human voices to represent your company, the better able your company will be at building profitable and sustainable relationships.

One of my (human) clients recently told me that branding is not something that a committee approves; it is the sum total of what everyone in your company does, day after day. He is so right.

To paraphrase Kare Anderson, when you get people combining their unique talents to serve the greater good, that's when things get really interesting. Let's hear more from the unique voices in your midst.

Bruce Kasanoff is a ghostwriter for entrepreneurs. Learn more at Kasanoff.com. He is the author of How to Self-Promote without Being a Jerk.