2023 - Another Year, NEW YEAR's Resolution, will I CHANGE?

4 Minutes of Reading.

Yes, another year is in front of us, every year we take a pledge to ourselves “I will change”, I am going to get more exercise, eat healthier, make more money, focus on self-care, read more, make new friends, unfriend the useless ones, learn a new skill, get organized, get a new job, take a new hobby, start a business, live life to the fullest, quit smoking, spend more time with family and friends, and the list goes on. Some of us are caught up in certain loops in life, Situations that keep happening which you can’t help but wonder “Not again!” or “Why me”?

I remember many of my friends and colleagues were among those who made various resolutions at the beginning of 2022 to make many changes, is there anything that changed? The big question remains bold at the end of the year 2022!

The other day I was having a conversation with a friend of mine, and we were talking about reducing weight, I remembered we had the same discussion last year, then I asked him hey dude we had the same conversation last year, aren’t you complaining about the same thing that we discussed a year ago, haven’t you spotted the pattern yet for not doing it? I told him, dear there is a loop in not doing it all these years, there must be a pattern for not doing it. I think if you want really to make a change in your life in 2023 don’t worry about your habits, don’t worry about your thoughts, don’t worry about what others say, don’t worry about the things you read, but worry about the patterns you live in. pattern! He asked me what you mean by pattern.

Most people blame their failure to fulfill resolutions on a lack of time, resources, or motivation, or a loss of zeal after starting. Some blame difficult goals or quickly become bored with relatively easy goals, lack accountability, no tracking or review, lack of planning, doubt, or unclear objectives.   My question to you all is, have you taken any steps to change it? have you examined your life pattern? Have you analyzed your pattern to know what went wrong? Yes, we hear a lot about Patterns nowadays, Artificial intelligence, behavior analysis, and patterns. Yes, I thought of sharing my view on this with you all.

What is a life pattern?

A pattern is some phenomenon that repeats regularly based on a set rule or condition, looking at the record of a person’s life, some of them are behavior, routine, or movement associated with a particular entity over a given period, like repeated achievements, habits, hobbies, and the way one is perceived by others is called patterns of life. For example, here are some common patterns, not meeting deadlines, being punctual, outgoing, hardworking, sleeping late, staying back late at work, wasting time on social media, not exercising after planning, and losing temper.

How does one identify life patterns?

Let’s start with looking inward (to look inside us), which means discovering your beliefs, your thoughts, and your feelings about something, and describes the act of thinking about your own actions or inner thoughts. When you examine what you do, say, think or feel and how it affects your life and the lives of others, that's a self-examination of patterns. Let me help you with how one can identify the patterns in your life to get rid of, change or review and improvise.

1.      Pen down your pattern.

Start with one pattern you want to review or change, then list the past three or five times when you’re faced with it to compare the incidents and spot the similarities between that occurrence. Now let’s take the example of not meeting a deadline, if you have developed a habit of not meeting the deadline it is an easy spot pattern by reviewing examples like lack of clarity, and lack of timely communication, there is no real pressure, and probably unrealistic. After identifying the characteristics now list down the areas you need to improvise.

2.      Find characteristics of past circumstances that led to the result.

Now write down as many characteristics to find out e.g., for not getting up early, there are many patterns you can identify like a computer or mobile phone usage before bedtime will take you longer to fall asleep and that will lead to getting up late. Common causes of chronic sleeplessness include Stress. Concerns about work, school, health, finances, or family can keep your mind active at night, making it difficult to sleep, and too much stimulation before bedtime examples like video games, consuming energy drinks or drinking a lot of coffee and there are tens of patterns you can identify to make necessary in your life.

3.      Find out commonalities across the patterns

Finding patterns is extremely important. Patterns make our tasks simpler, and Humans are natural pattern recognisers. Try to distinguish all the factors you have listed. Are there any common factors across the routine? Circle them. Chances are you will find one or two leading trends across all the factors listed. In my above example, “computer or mobile phone usage before bedtime” one may be addicted to their smartphone including if he or she spends more time on social media, texting, tweeting, or emailing.

4.      Take steps to change the pattern for a better life.

Now that you have uncovered the root causes, how can I change my life patterns to improve my everyday life, and what action needs to be taken to avoid the recurrence of patterns to be changed?

In the above mobile phone example case the pattern you could adapt to change.

1.      Keep yourself on a schedule

2.      Turn off as many push notifications as possible.

3.      Take distracting apps off your home screen

4.      Kick your device out of bed

5.      Inform your friends that I will not be available after so and so time.

6.      Stay accountable.

Identity patterns in your life and you can get rid of many undesirable behaviors in your life. Wish you all a wonderful 2023!

Try out the exercise and start breaking away from the harmful patterns in your life! Feel free to share your feedback — I’d love to know how it works for you?

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