29. Build a Diverse, Genuine, and Mutually Beneficial Network.

Long before a guy named Zuckerberg ever attended Harvard, I was encouraged to develop a strong network. In the early 1990s, I wasn’t entirely sure what that term meant nor how it could benefit me. I was simply encouraged to meet as many people, work alongside as many people, and obtain as many diverse experiences as possible. Above all, and this one came directly from my mother at a young age, I was encouraged to be as genuine as possible when developing a relationship. 

Fast forward 30+ years and we have been rewired to a new definition of the word network which consists of connections, subscribers, followers, and even friends. Most recently, we have witnessed the rise of the social media influencer and the drive to obtain the verified, yet elusive, blue checkmark. To be perfectly clear, I am not knocking the evolution of today’s social networks. It is a natural occurrence for the world to adapt and evolve – and it has. That said, in my opinion, the traditional definition and value of a strong, diverse, and genuine professional network has stood the test of time and will continue to well into the future.

Throughout my career, I have been lucky enough to work with several outstanding employers, across several geographies, and within several related industries, all of which created a good bit of breadth and diversity within my network. In each of these situations, with my mother’s encouragement ringing in my ears, I worked diligently to build genuine and meaningful relationships with my co-workers, clients, and business partners. Not only did these experiences help build my leadership mosaic, but they have helped me tremendously over the years as I’ve leveraged this diverse network to assist others, further my career, further the career of others, and build businesses. When I launched MillsonJames in 2010, I very intentionally leveraged my network, called on them, and asked them for referrals to help create opportunities. When my oldest son, Sam, launched his own consulting firm ten years later, the power of our collective networks was once again on full display as he successfully launched The Millson Group.   

As powerful as a broad and diverse network can appear to be, the real value lies in the depth and genuineness of the relationships that create the network. It has been my experience that one of the quickest ways to determine the genuineness of a professional relationship is to assess whether it is mutually beneficial. If a network relationship is one-sided and unequally yoked, it will never produce the results it hopes to achieve. Over the years, I have developed an allergic reaction to and an acute distaste for BS. When I get the sense that the genuineness of a connection is weak or that the potential for a relationship is entirely one-sided, I pull back on the throttle and focus my attentions elsewhere. Life is simply too short to be in unequally yoked relationships. 

The challenge in today’s digital world is to build a network that is truly genuine and mutually beneficial.  It is too easy to be attracted to volume – number of subscribers, followers, or connections. Those look good on the surface, but if you ever truly intend to leverage that network, you must be genuine and you must work to ensure it is equally yoked and mutually beneficial – by helping others make connections, by helping that former colleague find a job, or by referring a potential client to another. Building a network that is a mile wide, yet an inch deep is akin to building a house on sand – it lacks the proper foundation and likely won’t deliver the value that you seek.

In the end, networking isn’t about reaching out to as many people as possible. It’s about connecting with people from whom you can learn — and who might learn from you. It is genuine, just as my mother suggested so many years ago. Blue checkmark be damned.