#29.    Is your Instinct to Help, actually Hurting your Team?

#29. Is your Instinct to Help, actually Hurting your Team?

In the realm of leadership, the instinct to help is often celebrated as one of the most crucial qualities.  

Many leaders step into their roles with a strong desire to assist their teams in overcoming challenges. This instinct is driven by empathy and a commitment to ensuring the team's success. However, when help is provided too readily or excessively, it can have unintended consequences.  

Team members may become reliant on the leader for solutions, leading to a lack of confidence in their own abilities. Over time, this dependency can erode initiative and creativity, as team members wait for direction rather than taking the lead themselves. 

Leaders who actively assist their teams can foster a supportive and nurturing environment. However, there's a fine line between being helpful and inadvertently stifling growth.  

When a leader's instinct to help becomes overbearing, it can lead to a dependency that hampers team members' development and independence. This phenomenon, often termed as "over-helping," can actually hurt the team in the long run.  

To avoid this pitfall, Leaders must learn to connect with their teams in a detached yet supportive manner, fostering independence while encouraging value-adding activities and greater engagement. 

The instinct to help often stems from a genuine desire to see team members succeed. However, when these instinct manifests as constant intervention, micromanagement, or over-reliance on the leader's guidance, it can prevent team members from developing critical problem-solving skills and confidence in their own abilities.  

Over-helping can lead to a lack of ownership and accountability within the team, as members may become accustomed to having decisions made for them or problems solved on their behalf.  

This dependency can stifle innovation and creativity, as team members might hesitate to take risks or propose new ideas without the leader's explicit approval. 

To foster a more independent and self-reliant team, leaders must practice a form of "detached connection." This approach involves being available and supportive without being overbearing.  

One effective way to achieve this is by encouraging autonomy and empowering team members to take ownership of their tasks and projects.  

Setting clear expectations is another crucial element of detached connection. You should communicate your belief in the team's capabilities and outline the level of autonomy they expect.  

This can be reinforced by establishing goals and milestones that the team is responsible for achieving. By doing so, you signal your trust in the team's abilities while also holding them accountable for their performance. Regular check-ins can provide opportunities for feedback and course correction without taking away the team's autonomy.  

As a Leaders, You can set clear expectations and provide the necessary resources and guidance, but then step back and allow team members to navigate challenges and find solutions on their own. This not only builds confidence but also promotes a sense of ownership and accountability. 

A detached connection also requires leaders to develop strong listening skills. By actively listening to team members' ideas, concerns, and feedback, you can show that you value and trust your team's input.  

This helps to create an environment where team members feel comfortable sharing their thoughts and taking initiative.  

Additionally, leaders should provide constructive feedback that encourages growth rather than simply pointing out mistakes. This approach helps team members learn from their experiences and develop the skills needed to handle similar situations in the future. 

 

Let’s look at this one example from leadership of MS Dhoni; Indian all-rounder Shardul Thakur has revealed how Dhoni has been pushing players to keep themselves self-sufficient. Thakur played under Dhoni's captaincy earlier and the 43-year-old still remains a key figure in the dressing room.     

Thakur has revealed how Dhoni is putting his teammates in the mindset wherein they can be ready.    "Playing with him has always been special because he allows us to grow. He allows us to come up with our own plan. So, he will never spoon-feed us," Shardul Thakur was quoted as saying at an event hosted by IISM.   The all-rounder added, "He will say, ' Go back to your room, think about your game, and come up with your plans, if it doesn't work then I will intervene'." 

 

An example of detached connection in action can be seen in the leadership style of Satya Nadella, CEO of Microsoft. Nadella has been praised for his empathetic and empowering leadership approach. Rather than micromanaging, he focuses on creating a culture of trust and autonomy. He encourages employees to take risks and innovate, providing support when needed but allowing them the freedom to learn and grow from their experiences. This approach has led to increased engagement and a more dynamic and innovative workforce at Microsoft. 


As Nelson Mandela famously said, "It is better to lead from behind and to put others in front, especially when you celebrate victory when nice things occur. You take the front line when there is danger. Then people will appreciate your leadership." This underscores the importance of empowering others and stepping in only when necessary.  


Steve Jobs once remarked, "It doesn’t make sense to hire smart people and then tell them what to do; we hire smart people so they can tell us what to do." This perspective highlights the value of trusting and leveraging the capabilities of your team. 


To successfully implement a detached connection, leaders must also be mindful of their own tendencies and behaviours. You should reflect on your instinct to help and recognise when it might be hindering rather than helping your team. This self-awareness allows you to strike a balance between providing support and encouraging independence. 

Leaders should also prioritise creating a culture of continuous learning and improvement. This involves encouraging team members to seek out new knowledge and skills, experiment with new ideas, and learn from both successes and failures.  

By fostering a growth mindset, You can help your teams become more resilient and adaptable, better equipped to handle challenges and seize opportunities. 


In conclusion, while the instinct to help is an admirable quality in a leader, it must be balanced with the need to foster independence and self-reliance within the team. By practicing detached connection, you can create an environment where team members feel empowered to take ownership of their tasks and projects, contribute value-adding activities, and engage more deeply with their work. This approach not only benefits individual team members but also leads to a more dynamic, innovative, and successful organisation. 

 

Finally, before signing off this edition, here is my favourite section which is 3*3 matrix for you as a leader on your Instinct to overly help your Team:

1.  Three wise Quotes: 

  • "Good leaders inspire people to have confidence in their leader. Great leaders inspire people to have confidence in themselves." – Eleanor Roosevelt 
  • "A leader's job is not to do the work for others, it's to help others figure out how to do it themselves, to get things done, and to succeed beyond what they thought possible." – Simon Sinek 
  • "Leadership is not about being indispensable; it's about making yourself and others around you better." – Andrew Carnegie 


2. Three Question for you to ponder as a leader:  

  • Do I create opportunities for my team members to take ownership of their tasks and projects? How can I better facilitate their autonomy and decision-making? 
  • In what ways do I encourage my team to come to me with solutions rather than just problems? How can I reinforce this behaviour consistently?  
  • Am I aware of the individual strengths and weaknesses of my team members, and do I tailor my support to enhance their growth rather than create dependency? 

 

3. Three Clues:  

  • Empower Through Questions: Instead of providing direct answers, ask guiding questions that help team members think through challenges and find their own solutions. 

  • Foster a Growth Mindset: Encourage a culture where making mistakes is seen as a learning opportunity. This can help team members feel safe to take risks and innovate without fear of judgment. 

  • Model Independence: Show by example how to approach challenges with confidence and resilience. Your behaviour sets a precedent for how team members should handle their own work. 

__________________ 

💁️ Turning Point Partner to pivot your growth. I have a talent of connecting dots both backward and forward and sensing beyond the obvious. I partner with leaders to give their ambitions a new life and to chart a fulfilling path with their unexplored potentials...!  

𝗨@𝗰𝗼𝗿𝗲, 𝗧𝗵𝗲 𝗕𝗿𝗶𝗹𝗹𝗶𝗮𝗻𝗰𝗲 𝗨𝗻𝗰𝗼𝘃𝗲𝗿𝗲𝗱 

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Christele D.

FP&A professional - Financial Planning & Analysis Expert | Finance Business Partner | Financial Modeling & Data Analytics Expert | Driving Strategic Business Decisions | M&A Integration lead | Accenture

1mo

Agreed! Over-helping can hold back team growth. Giving space for ownership and problem-solving is key to building accountability.

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