3 Reasons to Share Your Story

"You're a little bit overweight and will need to lose a couple of inches off your hips," I was told after having my hips, waist and bustline measured. I couldn't believe what I was hearing. "Lose weight?" I thought to myself? "Why? How? I'm already so skinny." I was six feet tall and barely weighed 130 pounds (59kg) at the age of 13. When I got home and told my mother she was in complete shock that I was being told to lose weight off my already long and lanky frame.

Imagine going home to your West African mom, and telling her you can't eat her delicious foods because of the fat content and your hips are big for modelling. It's like an abomination to say you're not eating. All I could think of was how much I loved food and what was I going to do to lose weight if I wanted to be a top model. The dream was to be in the pages of Vogue magazine and walk the runways for top designers in New York and Paris. By the time I was 12 years old, I was already 5'11" tall. Taller than my mother, the teachers and school principal. You can imagine as a pre-teen towering over everyone was an awkward, uncomfortable experience.

Extremely skinny at the time, I was quite athletic and participated in several sports including basketball, volleyball and track & field. Outside of sports, my strong interest in fashion and beauty is what naturally, with my height, led me into the modelling industry. I remember joining Marguerite Bant School of Modelling in St. Catharines, Ontario, Canada, where I grew up.

I have vivid memories of sitting in a large room with other models and Ms. Bant would make her entrance like a glamourous woman and throw her fur stole over her shoulder as if she were a Parisian woman walking down cobblestone roads in Europe. The modelling school was in a massive Victorian style home that became the 'model house' where we learned everything about the industry we could from her. Filled with other young women all dreaming of making it as a model in the fashion business, we learned to walk, etiquette, how to put on makeup and diet tips.

I spent the next decade battling with my weight so that I could be 'skinny' enough to book jobs, work the runway and become a success. I was always told I was 'fat', that my hips were too big or my thighs were too thick. Every audition I went to I was always the heaviest there, even though by real world standards, I was not even close to being overweight. It was the 80s and 90s, definitely a different time than today where people have body positivity movements and more diversity because of social media.

There weren't many black models in the industry to look up to. Top black models at the time included Iman, Beverly Johnson, Grace Jones, Roshumba, Veronica Webb, Tyra and Naomi Campbell. I wanted to be like all of them, but could never get my body to fit the standards of the industry.

After I gave up on pursuing a career as a model, I turned my disappointments with not being what they deemed as 'perfect' into teaching young women to become more aware and have self-love for themselves. I used some of my personal experiences in the industry to become a powerful speaker and travelling to schools speaking to thousands of young women on issues of self-esteem and positive body image.

This is just one of the many life defining stories that have made me into the woman I am today. It's why I feel drawn to share stories with young women to uplift them and help their self-esteem. Especially young black girls who are faced with European beauty standards every day.

For several years I was doing tours speaking mostly to young people because I had a story that could connect especially with young girls going through that awkward stage of life when they were trying to gain the confidence in who they are and navigate the world of beauty and self esteem.

Why did I share this story today?

That's a snippet of my personal story. It's time to tell your story too.

We live in a time when the one thing that will separate you from the crowd is your personal story. With so much competition it's the easiest way to differentiate yourself from people who may have the same skills and work experience that you do.

Have you noticed that when people tap into their life journey, their failures, losses and how they've over come, people tend to gravitate towards them? It's that connection. It personalizes you when people can relate to your experiences or learn from them. Stories of overcoming and pushing through personal struggles resonate with people. You become the 'hero' of your own story. The same style of storytelling that makes you love a character in a movie or television series. Learning how someone was able to rise above their obstacles to succeed. People enjoy learning about the process because it also inspires them to do the same.

Telling your story is the only way you're going to have control over your narrative, show people what you've done and connect with others. It might feel like talking about yourself all the time is self-centred, but it's actually the one way you can connect with people that gets results.

Three Reasons You should tell your story:

1. Storytelling is Your Best Marketing Tool

Telling authentic stories is the best way to market yourself, product or service. The more authenticity you have, the more you gain the trust of your potential audience or client. This is a strategy that companies like Coca Cola have mastered over the decades. They tell stories through their advertising that connects people so much that they even forget that the product they are buying is one of the most unhealthy beverages in the world. They've connected to the story. Which sold the product.

Think of what your story is. How will it best represent your client, consumer, product or service?

2. Personal Story Connects with People

As human beings, we are naturally drawn to stories that makes us feel connected. Stories we can relate to and learn lessons from. This is why it's so important to master the art of telling your story in a simple, yet entertaining way that keeps your audience engaged and coming back for more every time. Your story is perhaps the most interesting thing about you even though you don't realize it.

Think about some of your favourite speakers and how they have the ability to capture the attention of thousands when telling stories. They often use personal experiences to teach you how to overcome some of the obstacles you might also be facing. Their story becomes a framework to assist you in making the right choices on your journey.

3. Stories Can Persuade People

Your story has the ability to create emotions so strong that it has the power to persuade people's decisions. When you've mastered telling your story and it resonates with the people you're speaking to, it touches the soul and makes your audience feel connected. It shows you are willing to share and be transparent. It humanizes you.

Getting personal reveals a level of vulnerability, that some may think is weak, but is actually a sign of strength that people admire. It's courageous to share something so personal. Think of the countless people who have shared stories of struggle, despair and being at rock bottom. Those are the ones people are often drawn to because on the other side of the story is triumph. The ability to overcome despite the odds.

Not everyone has a story of tragedy and despair. I don't want you to think that's the only way to connect with people. Sometimes just telling your authentic story will be the way to create trust, and connect with ones desire.

Finally....

Now go out there and share your story. Get personal. Be authentic. Create your community. Use your life story to prosper forward.