3 Steps to Embracing the Pause

Last week I came across an article that really made me stop and think. The article was about how a few great leaders embrace the rule of awkward silence. The rule is straightforward: when faced with a challenging question, instead of answering, you pause and think deeply about how you want to answer. Here’s the catch it’s not a short pause. Take ten seconds or longer. The pause is used to let you think through your response. It feels awkward! And ten seconds can feel like an endless moment … but it’s so important.

Think about the last time you were asked a hard question. Did you immediately respond with the first thought that crossed your mind only to wish you had thought about it a little more later? What if we all took a moment to embrace the pause and stopped speaking just for the sake of speaking?

I think a few really great outcomes can come from embracing the awkward silence. Silence can turn into anticipation, better engagement, decreased emotional responses leading to increased critical thinking and boosted confidence. This technique won’t work in all cases and it won’t be learned overnight. It’ll seem like you’re going against all your instincts when you allow silence to fill the room. But when we listen, we are gathering our own thoughts about what to say next. When you embrace the “awkward silence” you’ll be able to really listen and take in what the people are saying. The more you try to find the perfect words, take a minute and they will come.

Silence can turn into anticipation, better engagement, decreased emotional responses leading to increased critical thinking and boosted confidence.

Here are a few things you can start doing and remember:

1. Practice the pause for a few seconds after someone is done speaking, before responding. It’ll show you’re really listening and not just waiting to respond.
2. Think before you speak. The more you practice this, it’ll move from being awkward to signaling confidence.
3. Remember, silence isn’t a failure. The silence should be seen as a time to gather your ideas to thoughtfully answer.

If you start embracing the pause and leave the room to think more and speak less, you’ll be an even better teammate and leader. Time is the biggest luxury, use yours wisely.

Pause. And let me know what you think.