3 Tips to confidently speak up 🗣️ against bias at work

Welcome to Quick Confidence! This weekly letter delivers a spritz of stories, tips and simple actions that will build your confidence and your power. Each quick tip bolsters confidence in your body, mind, and relationships so you can lead yourself and others to greatness. 

Have you ever heard a harmful comment or joke and looked the other way? 

Maybe you were unsure of how exactly to respond. Maybe you felt like you couldn’t think of something to say before the subject changed. Or perhaps you didn’t speak up because you were afraid to make things uncomfortable.

All of us have had moments where we failed to confidently stand up for what was right. 

Here’s the thing though – inclusion isn’t an optional part of leadership, it’s a must-have. Leaders need to be aware of their own biases, power, and preferences and act *consistently* as allies. 

The Center for Creative Leadership defines inclusive leadership this way: “Leaders commit to ensuring all team members are treated equitably, feel a sense of belonging and value, and have the resources and support they need to achieve their full potential.” 

So what can you do if you see a colleague de-valuing someone else or acting in a biased way? 

Quick Confidence Tips to Confidently Speak Up for What’s Right:

1. Embodied: Stop searching for the perfect words. If you’re someone who fails to interject when you hear a derogatory comment, you need to reassure yourself that there is no perfect wording for speaking out. Your brain doesn’t need to come up with an eloquent or pre-scripted call to action. It is more than enough to start by halting the conversation. You can say, “I’d like to pause before we go on,” or “Let’s stop here.” Then make a simple, succinct comment such as, “The last statement you said made me uncomfortable/upset/question X. Let’s talk about it.”
2. Interpersonal: Learn when to Call In versus Call Out. Not every single situation needs to be handled the same way. Dr. Loretta Ross, a professor at Smith College, developed a great framework designed to help you choose whether to call someone in or call them out. Calling out is helpful when we need to let someone know that their words or actions are unacceptable, won’t be tolerated or need to stop now. In a case like that, you could say, “I’m going to ask you to stop talking about X group that way or you’ll need to leave immediately.” On the other hand, calling in can be helpful when you want to gather more information about meaning, explore more deeply or find mutual understanding. In a case like that, you could say, “Why do you think that is the case?” or “What makes you say X?” As you can see, knowing when to stop harm and call something out is different from calling someone in and inviting more dialogue. Now that you know the difference, use these techniques thoughtfully!
3. Mindset: Challenge the default of silence. Sometimes, we tell ourselves that staying quiet is what’s easy or the norm, and that it’s exceptional to courageously speak up. When I interviewed Kim Scott, author of Just Work, she pointed out that while it should be an active choice to remain silent (since it can be risky at times to speak up), sometimes what can follow silence is discomfort - and even rage. When we fence off our own strong reactions, it can hurt our sense of agency and self-trust, not to mention our willingness to speak up in the future. So stop thinking of silence as something that buys us safety, when in fact it often just represents non-action.

As professionals navigating the most diverse workplace in history, it’s a great time to build your confidence in doing what’s right, not what’s easy. 

While you should feel empowered to hold your workplace culture and leaders to inclusive standards, it’s also important to remember, it starts with you. How do you find the confidence to speak up and speak out for what's right? Let me know in the comments!

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