3 Ways to Overcome Mommy Guilt as a Mompreneur

Women in particular are burdened with a multitude of societal expectations that they are desperate to meet. Raising children and excelling as an entrepreneur at the same time are two barely synchronizable endeavors. Mothers don't even have to fail in one of these areas to feel mother guilt. A small thought that revolves around what could have been done better can trigger this state of mind. As we celebrate mothers on May 9, it is extremely important to talk about their difficulties and how we can help them and support each other.

Mother’s guilt

Guilt is a familiar feeling to all of us. It arises when we have done something, knowingly or unknowingly, to harm others or ourselves, and we have become aware of our "sin." Many people experience unwarranted guilt frequently or constantly. The feelings of guilt are usually accompanied by anxiety, fear of condemnation and loss of love and appreciation from others, and constant dissatisfaction with oneself.

When we think about guilt, many questions arise. How is it that many people suffer from guilt and remorse almost constantly, while others feel it very rarely? Why does one person feel guilty for the same action while another does not? Who or what determines what is a sin and what is not?

The mother's guilt is a special type of guilt related to raising children, and you do not even need to cause any harm to your loved ones; only thinking about how better you could have done something in the past can trigger this emotion.

Three types of mom guilt when you run a business

Having a career parallel to running a family as a mother is often seen as an impossibility. The concept of providing mothers with sufficient leave days varies widely from country to country, and while in one place it is normal to have professional caregivers taking over some of the maternal duties, in other countries, it is not done that way. Managing two full-time jobs, being a mother and a businesswoman, requires quite the dedication and a lot of compromises. 

Sometimes children are a burden; we must admit and accept that. A mother is on duty twenty-four hours a day, and she can get tired of it. Many women feel guilty because they can't devote every minute of their day to their children. Intimacy and unconditional love are both important, but it's also vital to get out of this situation from time to time and not become martyred.

This issue is especially common for single mothers raising their children alone while running a business. If you can't afford to stay home longer and there is no grandmother nearby to take care of your child, there is no other option but daycare. There is no mother who doesn't feel guilty about sending her child to a community before her time. But don't worry, you have bills to pay every month, and you need your earnings to go from one to two. Remember, you are doing all this for your family and your children.

One of the most common causes of guilt is the imbalance between family and work. If you take more care of your family, your workload can pile up, and if you regularly work overtime, you feel guilty for not caring enough for your children and being so tired in the evening that you can't even talk, let alone play with them. Many businesswomen and mothers struggle with this phenomenon.

Real-life examples by successful female entrepreneurs

Tamara Johnson is a mompreneur who started Rule Your Rural and Rule Soul Collection, a blog and e-commerce store that highlights her art and transition from big city life to living in a small countryside town with her family. She felt guilty because her duties as a businesswoman often intersected with the time she would have otherwise spent with her family. 

"I have learned to make a scheduled time with my family and stick to it! I know that may sound strange, but I schedule our family time the same way I would schedule my work time at my studio, of course, you are allowed to be spontaneous when free time comes up," she begins to give a hint of her solution to Mom's Guilt. She emphasizes that involving the family in the business helps combat this unwanted feeling, "both kids love working with me in my studio, my son loves to paint and try techniques, my daughter loves resin art and picks out the colors I use. I answer all their questions about what I do and why, and what they can do too. Now they have both expressed an interest in having their own business."

Tamara's takeaway: Do what you love first, then find the money In it. Remember, this is your business. Get Help! You can do it alone by why? Get support from a peer group or other business owners. You'll thank me later. Please set realistic goals; you're more likely to succeed. And remember falling down is part of walking the walk! So don't give up, just pivot! 

Tamara has prepared a gift for our dear readers: 30% sitewide Mother Day's Sale for the Rule soul collection and 50% discount on her book, Gardening: Journal Rule Your Rural.

Auguste Crenshaw, a former beautician who is now a business coach, has a similar experience: "I learned that quality of time is more important than quantity. I also began to relax and let my children share in my journey." To deal with motherhood guilt and manage the situation in the best possible way, she hired professional support in her company. "Less responsibility means more time for my family. If it's not an important deadline or coaching appointment, I allow myself the freedom to shift gears." She also involved her children in the business once they reached the right age.

Auguste's takeaway: You can't do it all in one day. Don't make hasty decisions that put you in financial jeopardy; it will not make your business grow faster. Appreciate every small, consistent step you take. Examine your desire for your business and your family and incorporate family from the beginning. This way, you don't use the need to build a legacy as an excuse to take time away from your kids, leading to mom guilt. 

Auguste is celebrating Mother's Day with an event called M.O.V.E., which stands for Master of Virtual Economy. "This event was created specifically to help women build a business and the life they want. Not only are there business specialists such as sales, copywriting, podcasting and marketing, but there are also parenting, marriage, financial, and trauma coaches to help businesswomen. You can visit my website for more details," she shares.

Jessica Richey, a Human Resources expert and mompreneur, approaches being a mom and businesswoman through constant learning. "I have learned to be present at the moment during the time we spend together. I completely shut off work and get off my to-do list to do what is most important to me, and that is being a mom. Creating a schedule and automating as much as possible has really allowed me to manage both," she explains.

According to all three of these wonderful and successful women entrepreneurs, involving family members, especially children, is a great way to wear both hats at the same time. "I involve my son in my business. He is my photographer, and he takes really good pictures! I also allowed him to record me shooting a video. He loved every moment and encouraged me the whole time," Jessica adds.

Jessica's takeaway: Starting a business does not have to be hard. It is important to implement a strategy that supports your schedule. Also, community support is very important. Surround yourself with people who are going to support you and cheer you on. Lastly, never stop investing in yourself. When your kids see you going after your dreams, they can see they can do it too, especially when you lead by example.

During Mother's Day, Jessica is offering a 50% discount on her resume course, "The Secret To Writing A Powerful Resume." This course contains everything you need to land the perfect job. Use promo code MOTHERSDAY2021 by May 9, 2021, for 50% off!

As a takeaway from our mompreneurs, you have multiple options to solve Mom's Guilt. You can either try to separate your work and your private life, for which you need a supportive workplace. For those moms who run a business as a second full-time job and therefore separation is nearly impossible, involving family members is the best way to spend quality time together. 

Remember, thinking about whether you are a good mother at all shows dedication, loyalty to your children, and love for your family, which is the strongest thing in the world.

Happy Mother's Day!

Naghilia Desravines, Founder & CEO of WomELLE