#364: Read, View, and Do: "Are You Drowning In a Toxic Workplace?" from Puneet Sandhu

Introduction

In today's "People Skills" newsletter, we're looking at what it's like to work in a toxic workplace and what you can do about it.

Many otherwise confident and competent people can be brought down by a toxic environment, where both colleagues and managers get away with manipulating, bullying, and mistreating them.

I have only one experience of a toxic organisation in my working life. It featured a Managing Director who was physically aggressive towards those he didn't like; called out any personality traits in his staff; and even set up cameras in secret locations to record how hard people were working. Luckily, I read the room and didn't stay there long.

So, if you are in a toxic environment, or know someone who is, and is suffering badly from it, here, thanks to Puneet Sandhu's article in the Muse, are 5 ways you can tell if you're in a toxic space and what you can do about it.

01. There Are No Boundaries Around Work

Toxic cultures often normalize and glorify a lack of healthy boundaries, encouraging you to prioritize work over everything else. Management might push themselves to burnout and exhaustion and expect their teams to do the same, whether they’re working in the office or virtually.

02. People Don't Trust Each Other

In a toxic work environment, the lack of trust between colleagues is palpable. An example of this is an organization where the management team’s offices face employees’ desks, allowing them to monitor activity on the floor. Or it could be a work environment where managers ping their direct reports incessantly to check on what they’re doing.

03. There's No Room to Make Mistakes

In toxic organisations, there is often an aggressive, dog-eat-dog culture where there is no room for error. In an environment like this, people start to do whatever it takes to avoid being in the line of blame and to get ahead of their colleagues. For example, not sharing work-related information with teammates or throwing co-workers under the bus when something goes wrong.

04. People Treat Each Other With Contempt

Contempt is often seen as a key pillar in toxic relationships. An example is a boss who regularly rolled his eyes at a team member in meetings and made her revise a client's work over and over again even though the client was happy with version one.

05. People Feel Frequently Gaslighted

When someone gaslights you, they make you question your own feelings, perceptions, or sanity. An example is of a manager who assigns a project to a member of staff and expects it to be done in a specific way, and then, at the project completion, criticises why the project had been done in that way.

06. Video: "Toxic Employees Have to Go" from Galen Emanuele

The topic of firing people makes a lot of people squirm. It’s awkward and uncomfortable, but the reality is that in many instances it's the greatest thing that could possibly happen for all parties involved...

07. Action: "4 Steps to Deal With a Toxic Environment"

Here are 4 steps from Puneet Sandhu on how to extricate yourself from a destructive, negative, and soul-destroying relationship:

1. Consider Your Options

Leaving is the first option but you may need to consider the timing, the effect on others such as your family, and your career aspirations.

2. Reclaim Your Agency

Take back your power by looking at things objectively and unemotionally. Don't blame yourself. Don't think you're on your own. Treat the situation as a self-empowering learning experience that will help you grow.

3. Have a "Clearing" Conversation With Those Hurting You

Be brave and address the point of conflict in a clear-the-air conversation with those who are hurting you. State how you feel. Do not discuss past events. Do not negotiate. Do not get into an argument. Simply express what you feel assertively and, if necessary, repeatedly.

4. Have Compassion for Yourself

Many people in a toxic relationship feel they are at fault and blame themselves for what is happening. Puneet suggests this great piece of advice in this situation: If the person I loved most in the world was in my position, what advice would I give them? Sometimes, this question can give someone the clarity to decide to move on and get out.

What Next?

If you have found this newsletter useful, you now have a great resource to add to your e-learning store.

And, with this as your starting point, you can now take things further.

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Simply commit yourself to a daily snippet of learning and then practise it, reflect upon it, apply it, and review it, and in no time at all, you will have mastered the skill with confidence.

Thanks for reading this edition of the "People Skills" newsletter and good luck with your ongoing learning.

Oh, and one last thing.

In the spirit of making the world a freer, happier and more enlightened place...

...please pass this newsletter on.

Thankyou!

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