4 Types of Dates your Marriage Needs - PART 1

First of all my marriage is not perfect.  We have our bad days just like everybody else.  One of us may annoy the other one. Our jokes don’t land like they do the other days.  Or one of us is distracted and not listening very well.  Quite frankly, we may be in the same room, but miles apart.

However, over the years, we have learned a few tricks that help keep our marriage operating in a more consistent and healthier rhythm.  These are also helpful for when we need to recalibrate and get back on track!

One of the biggest ways we can all improve our marriages, especially as busy business leaders with families, is to be intentional with pursuing our spouse.

I know there have been times in my marriage when I did not make dating my wife a priority, especially as we did in the early days of our relationship.  However, if we are not careful, years of not dating each other will pile up and eventually cause us to look at our spouse and not have any connection.  None of us want that.  However, there is great news!  It is not too late to recalibrate!

The following are 4 types of dates you need to add to your marriage.

1. Love dates - This is the most obvious one, however, it often isn’t done correctly or enough.  These dates need to be when you and your spouse just talk about each other, your hopes, dreams, challenges, and current realities. You can do this at a restaurant or on a walk.  Most of us usually mess up this date because we spend the whole time talking about schedule and carpool coordination. Yes, there may be some of that, but we will save the majority for the Logistic Date, which we will discuss next. The other way we screw this is up, is we don’t do it enough.  The Love Date is what keeps the marriage chemistry. 

✅ Intentional Leader Action:  Schedule a minimum of one love date a month

2. Logistic dates - I wish Holly and I would have added this sooner in our relationship.  Instead, we would make logistical plans for the kids' activities on the day of the event! When that happens, one person in the relationship always looks bad and the other gets mad.  Holly and I mostly have this meeting on Sunday late afternoon or Sunday night, Monday night at the latest.  It is very casual, usually with a bottle of wine and our phones in our hands. We go day by day for that week.  We discuss kids’ carpooling, meals, big meetings, etc.  This has been a huge help for us as it allows us both to be connected, and see how we can serve and help each other. 

✅ Intentional Leader Action:  Do this every Sunday and then review the weekend on Thursday.

Let's be mindful this week to be intentional and get these dates on your calendar!  

What's next? In the next ‘Intentional Leader’ newsletter, we will share two more types of dates you need to add to your marriage rhythm. 

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