5 Life Lessons from my Father

My Dad died unexpectedly 6 months ago.

One day I’m talking to him on the phone,

the next day he’s gone forever.

I'm not sure how someone gets past something like this

but I've decided to share some of what I've learned

Here are a few life lessons from my Dad over the years:      

1. Bet On Yourself

Six months ago I asked my Dad if he had any regrets in life and he quickly answered:

“I wish I bet on myself sooner.”

I was shocked.

My father didn’t believe in regrets or feeling bad 

for yourself so, I was surprised.

My Dad had a corporate job up until his mid-40s.

He relied heavily on his:

Big title

Even bigger salary

The luxury it provided him and us

But he hated it.

He hated his boss

He hated corporate politics and nepotism

He hated being the smartest one in the room

In his mid 40’s he took a leap and decided 

to bet on himself and started a whole new career.

Was he worried? Absolutely he was.

Did he feel ready to bet on himself? Nope!

But in the end, he absolutely loved it.

His bet on himself was the best thing he ever did.

Lesson:

Bet on yourself even if you don’t feel ready.

Don’t wait for the time to be right, it will never be right.

Go for it now.

You will figure it out.

I promise you.

2. Don’t wait

My Dad lived in Florida and had so many plans this winter.

Hanging out with his brother

Boat trips they planned together

Fishing and sailing through the Florida Keys

Activities they had been planing for over a year

Just living and enjoying life.

Two days after his brother landed in Florida 

my Dad was gone.

No more trips

No more plans

No more anything

Nothing mattered anymore.

Lesson:

Go and do that thing you’ve been wanting to do

because tomorrow is not a promise to you.

Start that business

Make that bet on yourself

Go visit that country you’ve wanted to see

Ask that girl out you’ve been scared to approach

Do that thing you’ve been hesitant to do.

Don’t let anything hold you back from living the life you want today.

Because tomorrow it could all be gone.

3. Who you marry is everything

My Dad was a very active guy

He loved to travel

He loved to explore

He loved to experience new things

He was very DIY and could build anything

He remarried someone who didn’t like any of the same things he did.

She actually hated a lot of what he loved.

Over time you could see the light in him slowly going out.

He got used to his cage and for decades 

compromised to make someone else happy.

He was scared to be alone for the rest of his life

so he sacrificed his happiness to have someone 

even if it was toxic. 

In the last six months, we talked about what he would do if he were free to live the lifestyle he wanted to

he quickly responded:

“I would be out of here, I'd sell my place, I'd be traveling the world and my first stop would be Alaska.”

He loved the outdoors

He loved fishing and hunting

He loved just taking in the sights and exploring

Lesson:

Do not spend your time with someone who hates what you love or rejects what makes you happy so they can be happy.

Someone who cares about you will support the things you love.

They won’t hold you back, They’ll set you free.

4. Routine is life

My Dad’s routines kept him going every day.

His days were so well planned and orchestrated,

it was like watching a band that had been playing together for years.

His routine was intense form of discipline

that kept him out of his own head.

We all so easily get distracted and stuck in our own thoughts.

Discipline = Freedom as Jocko Willink would say

My Dad figured this out early in his life

and built a system of discipline 

that would keep him from spiraling

into distraction and overthinking 

and replaced it with action.

Lesson:

Build a routine that frees you from overthinking

if you get stuck your default setting should be action.

5. Maintain Friendships

My Dad didn’t keep a lot friends.

He actually claimed to hate most people.

The reality was, he loved people

but hated transactional friendships.

I think we can all relate to this one.

Friends and I mean good friends,

Make your life so much better

but are also as rare as 4-leaf clover.

When my Dad started hanging around with his brother

he got his spark back. The light came back into his eyes.

He had been reborn looking forward to tomorrow.

Rather than counting the days, he was making the days count.

In 2022 alone he traveled and explored more than he had in the last 15 years and it was all because his brother was around.

Lesson:

All you need are a few good friends in life.

Harsh truth: The majority of the people you consider friends, aren’t really your friends.

99% of them will disappear when you need them. 

Don’t stop trying to make friends

Don't stop trying to maintain friendships

just because you’ve had bad experiences.

Find people who have a common interest with you and make an effort.

Not having friends destroys the quality of your life quickly.

Having just one friend lit up my Dad's life.

Be the person that doesn’t give up

on building friendships.

I wasn’t sure how to share this

I wasn’t sure if I should share this

Don't feel sorry for me, that's not the point.

Before it's too late pleas take action.

If one person can be inspired by reading this 

then it has done its job. 

I took a queue from my Dad and just took action.

Do I have it all figured out yet? Not a chance. 

but I am not waiting for tomorrow anymore.

Time to get going. 

Miss you Dad.

Love,

your son

Lucas Bean