5 life lessons I learned from meeting 10 Heads of State

First of all, I said 5 as I am trying to keep it short.

So I decided to concentrate on those lessons that still impact my life today. These were noted while listening, observing or even talking to Country leaders. I cannot express how lucky I feel to have met such men & women but even luckier I was able to take away something from those encounters.

1. Genuinely showing interest leads to deeper conversations and connections

It is one thing to show interest and it is totally another to genuinely do so. Comparable to "looking" and "seeing". Not only it makes the other person open up more but as well it leaves a very positive impression, once the conversation is over. 10 years later, I can vividly recall some of those interactions simply due to how I felt while I was listening/talking. How they made me feel.

2. Showing weakness is a sign of strength

Whether they were Heads of State or influential people, they all had one thing in common when interacting with them. They all had an "embellished weakness", which they would show or voice out. What I mean by "embellished weakness" is the fact that they would expose a weakness of their choice (often to avoid showing other weaknesses) and by doing so, it made them feel more humane and attainable. As well, It often was used to highlight their strengths. It made the conversation feel more personal and less diplomatic/professional.

3. Knowledge Speaks, Wisdom listens

Being able to identify the moments you should speak and those when you should listen. It is a critical skill for a diplomat, however it is complex to master for most of us if not all of us (particularly me). It relies a lot on your ability to read the other person and on which direction you want the conversation to go to. You should know when to teach and when to learn. The other day I read (sorry, can't remember where exactly) you should not listen while thinking what you are going to say next otherwise you might miss life lessons. I found that quality of knowing when and what to say to be a very powerful one but I have to admit it is still a work in progress for me.

4. You are what you think

Most Heads of State when interacting with counterparts, voters or press are almost every time trying to persuade you of something. This is often linked to their vision for their country, and often reflects on how they want you to think of them or think of the nation they lead. It made me realise they had to first believe themselves in what they preach before they could be so naturally convincing. And obviously many books (such as "Think and Grow rich" by Napoleon Hill, btw great movie they made recently) praise the power of thinking and how it impacts others around us. So for sure, it is not a new idea but it is a very solid one. What you think is what you become.

5. Treat people differently

Yes, I said it but let me explain first before you jump up and down in front of your phone or computer. By the way I can't see you anyway. Moving on, what I mean by treating people differently is that it is crucial to know your audience and what they expect from you. A President of a country when meeting another Head of State will not use the same body language or even language than when meeting a collaborator or a mayor for example. Some will get a handshake with a hand on the arm, some will get a nod, or a wise crack. You still respect people of all levels the same way. But understanding who they are, their culture, their experience, their intelligence, and treating people accordingly is a determining factor of how people will respond and perceive you. If you talk about quantum physics to a man like me it is likely you might not succeed at impressing me, most likely I will feel dumber than I actually am. It is most probable that I will feel frustrated by the end of the conversation, despite my best efforts. Knowing your audience and treating them accordingly is a lesson I keep using on a daily basis.