5 Questions with a 9/11 Survivor

My three takeaways from Mimi:

1. Comparing pain is a losing game 

2. One never knows another's journey

3. Getting to go home is a miraculous thing

I recently reconnected with Mimi Bock, an executive in the financial services industry who was on the 63rd floor of 2 World Trade (the south tower) on September 11th, 2001. She graciously gave me some time to reflect on that day and her life since. 

--RX Fogarty,

Dear World Founder

*Interview has been edited and condensed 

RX: First can you tell us when and where you took your Dear World portrait? 

MB: My Dear World photograph has always meant so much to me. Every time I see it, the black background, my resolve, it just feels like it was my message to the world. I think how much I love the photograph, I think about 9/11 - but I also think back to how impactful the Dear World event was for me and all of my colleagues. I shared my story of being in the World Trade Center, but as you remember it was a client event. And what Dear World did for me was it allowed me to hear deeply personal and authentic stories about my clients’ lives. One of my clients lost a child – that’s what they put on their arm. I had no idea. One of my clients told me with their ink that they beat cancer. I learned so much that day about others, and I have Dear World to thank. 

You know it’s funny, for years I’d go to see them and they’d have their Dear World photos on their desks or in their conference rooms – some I know had them on the mantle at home. So just thanks to you. It was an honor and a pleasure to be a part of Dear World. 

***

RX: You shared a lot about what it meant to safely escape on 9/11, I’m curious what the passage of time feels like now? We woke up and here we are, 20 years later.

MB: I certainly wouldn’t wish this experience on anyone, but what it did create for me was it created an entirely new level of gratitude. Truly, there are times when I get completely out of sorts and I’m able to say this to myself: “Woah, girl, you just got to live the last 10 years or 15 years or 20 years of your life – get it together!” 

I always come back to that. I mean, someone tried to kill me – kill all of us - that day and I survived. So that does give me a profound sense of gratitude. 

Secondly, I think over the years I’ve tried to be more empathetic to other people’s pain. The idea that every person on the planet has experienced pain or loss or trauma. It is the human condition. And I’ve stopped comparing traumas and have developed a large sense of just not comparing mine to others and vice versa. I lived that day, right? I wasn't physically hurt. It took me a long time to recover and not dive under the dining room table when planes flew over my house, but I lived. 

I still have my dear husband, my son and parents. When I hear people who have lost a family member, a child or have an illness, I just say to myself that everybody has pain. And sadly, there are countless victims of mass tragedy – beyond those of us who were downtown that day. 9/11 has given me a more profound sense of empathy and compassion for those in any kind of pain.

MB: The engine company by my then uptown office. The home of the Fallen 15. They lost more members than any other that day. So many first responders were lost or injured trying to save all of us. I am so deeply thankful to them. 

RX: I love the idea of fairy godmother characters in our lives, and when I say that, I mean people who came into your life at unexpected moments and gave you a gift. Is there anyone like that in your life? A fairy godmother character? 

MB: Well, I talked about him a little earlier but I’d say Steve Wheeler was my 9/11 fairy godmother for sure! Steve means the world to me to this day and was a colleague of mine on September 11. On that day, when we were all looking out the windows after we heard the first plane crash. We were all on our blackberries and looking out the window--remember this was 20 years ago--we all thought it was a helicopter or a tourist plane. 

Most of us weren’t concerned yet, more perplexed and Steve slammed his hands down on the table and said with some colorful language, “WHAT are you all doing? Let’s get the heck out of here!” 

He snapped into leadership mode and got all of our attention that this was serious. Because of that we went straight to the stairwells and headed down 63 flights of stairs. To this day I keep Steve in my prayers because he got us out of there early. He saved us at minimum from a far worse experience.

Other fairy godmothers. The first responders – the police and firefighters. And the security teams within my then company. And of course, those who suited up and fought for the freedoms we get to enjoy – the men and women of the United States military.

And definitely, my priest, Father Todd Dill. He helped me find my faith again when I thought I never could after all of that death and fear. 

 MB: Those we lost at my company, many of whom were the security team working to save everyone. 

RX: So what was it like in the immediate aftermath?

The best part is I got to go home. I got to be with my family – unlike so many that day. I was unable to contact them for at least a couple of hours – after the towers fell. My husband was home from work that day caring for our 2 ½ year old son. I remain incredibly thankful for that. My parents rushed to be with him after calling my voicemail and hearing, “Hi. It’s Mimi, I’m at the World Trade Center today. Please leave your name and number and I’ll get right back to you.” I still can’t imagine what that felt like for my family and friends to hear that message. My family, friends and colleagues helped me heal. They all helped me come back to myself. I always had a profound sense, and still do, that my experience – while not something that anyone should have to experience – was far easier and manageable than so many others were there that day. Not least of which are those who lost their lives. Part of the healing for so many I’ve talked to is helping others. I’ve had the honor of working with the COMMIT Foundation for just over 10 years. Their mission is to help post-9/11 veterans, many of whom tell me they were called to enlist because of 9/11, move from military to civilian life.

RX: Do you have any rituals or do anything to mark the anniversary? What will you be doing on Saturday?

MB: I’ve always wanted it to be a normal day. I love to cook, so I make dinner for my family and friends. And about five years after 9/11, I make a big dinner for the local fire station wherever I live. I generally make food that will go right in the freezer and they can take it out whenever they want. I just take a little tiny lift off their shoulders. Ten years in, on the anniversary, I got really involved with a wonderful organization called the COMMIT Foundation that help veterans transition from military life into civilian life. Small give backs for everything I’ve received.

MB: The family I've been blessed with for 20 years!

MB: A photo my son had taken for me on one of the anniversaries during his high school years. Another photo that means a lot to me. That’s him on the left. RX Fogarty, Dear World Founder 

rx@dearworld.com