5 Reasons to Embrace Making Mistakes

It’s 31 December 2017. I’m chilling on the sofa with one of my favourite people, Akin, drinking rum punch and reflecting on the past year which we both agreed kicked our asses.

As the conversation turns to the new year, which by now is only a few hours away, the familiar topic of new years resolutions comes up.

Now I don’t really believe in resolutions, nor does my friend, but in that moment, he said something that piqued my interest. “In 2018 I want to make more mistakes.”

Immediately I screamed “I’M STEALING THAT!!” Did I mention that I’d been drinking rum punch?!

You see that statement spoke to me in such a visceral way that it actually took me by surprise. By making it an official resolution, in my mind I was essentially giving myself permission to fail. And encouraging it!

I’d had a fear of failure for so long because to me failing meant that people could see my cracks, they’d judge me or even worse ridicule me. My façade of having it all together would be shattered, and that’s the thing that I felt kept me safe…I didn’t know who I was without it.

But here’s the thing about planning to make more mistakes, you can’t do it if you’re living a risk averse life and only colouring inside the lines. Mistakes come from taking chances on yourself and others, from trying something new, from pushing yourself outside your comfort zone, from releasing yourself from the stronghold of perfectionism. And I was totally on board with giving it a try!

Now you can’t exactly put that resolution out into the universe and not expect it to come back to you in some way. And boy did 2018 deliver! It was not playing around!

From relationships, to work, health, anxiety….I was making mistakes left, right and centre. Every time I made a mistake or messed up something, Akin would remind me “Yo! You’re crushing that resolution Makky!” And I have to admit, I absolutely loved that perspective.

It released me from my tendency to massively judge myself for making a mistake. It reminded me that I was pushing myself to try new experiences, to be more vulnerable, to take a risk and accept that it’s okay to fail. Also, it was highlighting how much I was growing and learning along the way.

If you’re struggling with a fear of failure or still beat yourself up when you make a mistake, consider reframing how you think about messing up. Once you do, you’ll recognise that there are some real benefits.

Mistakes are gifts

Mistakes signal growth and offer you the opportunity to explore an area where perhaps you are deficient, need additional knowledge or need to rethink your approach. They allow you to stop and ask yourself "What’s the lessons to be learnt here?" Then you can move forward better informed, and in the words of Maya Angelou "When you know better, you do better."

Mistakes are an opportunity to demonstrate and build resilience

You don’t know your own strength until you’re challenged and you're able bounce back. Resilience isn’t built by sailing through life unencumbered. You need obstacles, challenges and failures to build your character, and that comes from screwing up and keeping going. So go ahead and embrace the idea of falling down seven times and getting up eight!

Mistakes show that you’re human

Have you ever worked with someone who never does anything wrong? From my experience they’re not exactly the most inspiring people to be around. And that’s because there’s this veneer of perfection. When you make mistakes and don’t try to hide them, it shows your vulnerability and authenticity, and in turn gives people around you permission to do the same. This can encourage people to show up as their genuine selves, while also generating a culture that celebrates risk taking which can lead to great innovations.

Mistakes get you one step closer to success

So often you can be working on something and waiting until you think it’s just right before sharing it with the world. But getting feedback along the way about the mistakes that you're making (and may not be aware of!) can allow you to make changes and improvements as you go. There are great benefits to iterating and iterating often as it can lead to continuous improvements and increase the rate at which you reach your desired end result.

Mistakes push you to challenge the root of your self-worth

If you base your worthiness on the idea that you have it all together then trust and believe you’re putting yourself in a compromising position. Inevitably, when you fail at something you’re going to start doubting your worthiness. So I suggest to embrace making mistakes as it forces you to re-examine how you value yourself. You'll instead learn to ground your worthiness not in your perceived perfection, but in who you are at your very core...flaws and all.

We all need to remember that we have permission to screw up. Being perfect at anything is both unrealistic and boring. Plus it can keep you stagnant in life, for fear of making mistakes if you step out and do something different.

When you remove that backpack filled with pressure and unrealistically high expectations, all of a sudden that weight is released and you can stand tall and approach life with more excitement, curiosity and self-compassion.

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Makeda Alleyne helps professionals who feel stuck, unfulfilled or overwhelmed learn how to modify their mindset and behaviours so that they can take control of the direction of their lives. If you'd like to get greater clarity about what's stopping you from living life on your terms and the transformation that you'd like to see in your life, you can book in a clarity call with her.