5 Tips to Being a Male Ally In the Workplace

The impact that men can have as allies has thus far been relatively underrated. We tend to think about gender equality being an issue that's for women to benefit women. But, men are key, even if they're not the drivers, in making sure that any gender equality initiatives, promoting gender equality in the business stay at the forefront of the agenda. By being advisors, mentors, sponsors and advocates. A lot of men may feel that to be an ally can in some way seem disingenuous, where people can say they don't understand what it's like to be a woman, they don't understand what it's like to be a woman of colour, but to be honest, this is where the focus should not be on the man but rather should be on how men, how they can use their position of power and privilege and influence and knowledge to support and provide resources to women, people of colour and marginalised groups and how they can then use their power position to make sure that everybody is heard, seen for what they bring to the table. So as part of any company's plan to, focus on gender equality, they should also be a focus on engaging with male allies, but also motivating men to become allies. For example, having a meeting gender equality that also explicitly includes men.

Here are five tips on how to be a male ally:

1.  Centre the group you want to help

When I say centre them, I mean do not ask them how you can help because they might always know, but rather take the time to get to know them, find out what issues they have had, what solutions have they tried, why didn't they work or stop working? The key here is to intuit some things. You don't necessarily go in with an offering. An open mind and a willingness to listen and learn is a good start. When you listen and learn you might be able to come to a point where you brainstorm together. Take the time to think about how they might feel about you approaching them. They might be scared, and they might not know what your intentions are. I wrote an article on this. So, make it clear that you would like to learn, that this is something new, what the end goal is, that you would like to help them, and you would like to use your social capital as it were, to help them gain access to resources invitation introductions courses, whatever it might be, to help them succeed.

2. Don’t be complicit when you see others being exploited

Part of being an ally is not passively accepting the situation that you see, but also speaking up and speaking out. There are a lot of things that happen within a work context that you see and think well "it's not my battle", but as part of being an ally, it becomes your battle. It becomes something that you don't turn a blind eye to because you have the privilege of it not directly impacting you. The phrase is 'be the change you want to see', so if you're passionate and determined to make sure that marginalised and minoritised groups have a voice within the workplace, then you also have to actively be part of breaking the cycle. Inaction is a choice.

3. Using your experience to motivate other men

The journey as a male ally may make you feel as though you are wrong, for being a man or for being in a privileged position and it might be off-putting for a lot of men when they realise it. But by focussing on the outcome rather than the journey and using this to encourage other men to become allies. As part of the learning process, your eyes will be opened to how you may have passively and sometimes, actively perpetuated the cycle of exclusion. But remember, it's not about expunging your record but rather about how you can take that as a point to learn and also help educate other men who may not already be allies.

4.  Be prepared to see the world in a different way and accept the truth of it.

Our instinct, when the world as we know it, turns out to be different, is to find the issues with the account. However starting with an open mind and a growth mindset means, acknowledging that you don't know everything and that your eyes are being opened to a new view. It may be uncomfortable learning about these perspectives, but they are crucial to your experience of becoming and being a male ally.

 Accepting the truth of these accounts means you will also look at situations differently and will help you to lead more inclusive conversations and change your behaviour not just in the workplace but also at home.

5. Don't declare yourself as an ally until someone has confirmed it.

In a lot of situations, people declare themselves as allies, but if you were to ask the minoritised or marginalised groups if that person is an ally, the results tend to diverge. Being an ally shouldn't be a title that you seek, but it should be a way of being. Try not to get attached to the status that comes with being an ally, because the word itself isn't tantamount to having done any work. Putting in the work should be the focus and not having a label. The most fulfilling part of being an ally should be seeing how the change you have helped create and improving the workplace.

So as a final word, I always maintain that behind the umbrella of the word diversity there is lived experience, sometimes painful, so as part of the journey, in being a male ally, it's critical to understand that the work you're doing should be about empowering, helping, and providing opportunity,

 You have the opportunity to help others have a better experience within the workplace, being an ally isn't a title you should seek being an ally isn't shouldn't be a way for you to increase your status or brownie points to say hey look what I'm doing. Look, I'm a great man because I'm supporting women in the workplace, I'm a great man because I'm supporting marginalised people within the workplace. It should be about your ability and the opportunity to have a positive impact on the lives of those who haven't had the same privilege, power and, and, and opportunities to access.

 The most important part is allyship is that companies, as well as individuals, make sure that those who are underrepresented and disadvantaged remain in the focus, as opposed to the allies.