6 Takeaways from Toastmasters

1. We're not in the speaking business, we're in the people business. The gentleman in the picture is Ross MacKay, DTM and former International Director. He came up to me following my keynote and said we met 25 years ago at National Speakers Association. He was new to the industry and said our forty minute conversation confirmed his decision to launch his own business offering training programs for engineers around the world. Forty minute conversation. Lifelong impact. Aren't we fortunate to be in a business where we get to make a difference and create decades-long friendships?

2. Seed a shift. I asked Steve Piersanti, former CEO of Berrett-Koehler, his #1 priority for publishing a book. He said three words, "What's the shift?" What change do you want people to make? What action do you want them to take? What will they stop, start, or do differently as a result of your talk? Craft it into a repeatable-retweetable rally cry so they're acting on it weeks, months later. Mine was, "When you don't know what to do, Tongue Fu!"

3. We gig a fish, we don't gig people. Someone came up in a hallway, said his goal was to get more paid "speaking gigs" and wanted to know my best piece of advice. I said, "First step. Please never use the word gig again when referring to speaking. We gig a fish, we don't gig an audience. Let's honor the human beings we have the privilege of presenting to by using the terms speaking opportunity or speaking engagement.

4. People don't want perfection, they want connection. When we've been speaking for awhile, it's tempting to give a proven talk we've polished. When giving a keynote or competitive speech, we may rehearse it until every word is perfect. Hmmm. As my son Andrew says, "It's better to be real than rehearsed." One way to be real is to reference something recent that obviously wasn't scripted far in advance. I shared how moved I was by the parade of 120+ flags in the opening ceremonies and used stories from several of those countries to make what I was saying was relevant. Another way to be real is to self-reveal. I shared that my grandfather George Reed was International President the year I was born, and how honored I was to carry forward the family legacy.

5. Do the new. My first public speech was the valedictory address for my school. When I asked Dad what he thought, he said, "It's an okay talk, you just didn't say anything original." I protested, "Dad, there's nothing new under the sun." He said, "Sure there is. You know the definition of original? If we haven't heard it before, it's original." Include at least one fresh, unique point in your talk that gets people's eyebrows up - whether it's an inspiring quote (since this convention was in Nashville, I quoted Elvis, "When things go wrong, don't go with them") - or a new term you've coined (I introduced INFObesity and Fun Fu!)

6. We're here to serve, not to show off. While waiting in line to congratulate Dr. Shirley Davis on receiving the Golden Gavel Award, I had the good fortune to meet Denise Knowles. I asked how long she'd been a Toastmaster, and she told me a wonderful story. Her father had encouraged her to join a club for years, but she was busy raising five kids and never got around to it. She said, "It's my 50th birthday and my dad said, 'The Toastmasters convention is in your hometown; I'm paying for you to go as your present.'"

She asked, "Do you ever get nervous speaking to large audiences?" I told her, "Before taking the stage, I always repeat my speaker's mantra: 'I am here to serve, not to show off. I am here to give good, not to look good. I am here to make an impact, not to make a name.'"

Those three sentences always center me in the real purpose and privilege of speaking. They remind me that my goal is not to get a standing ovation, my goal is to introduce something original, inspiring, and useful that seeds a shift that leads to enduring impact. ("News you can use," as a woman said to me in the elevator following my keynote).

What's your goal when you speak? Hope you found these takeaways valuable, and they help you serve your audiences and favorably impact everyone in the live and virtual room.

Thank you again, Toastmasters community, for making me feel so welcome and for this opportunity to share Tongue Fu! tips with more than 300,000 members around the world.