7 Lessons from 7 Incredible Women

I am fortunate to have built a platform where I get to have conversations with the most incredible women. All of whom have taught me something I’ve gone on to carry into my wider life.

And I can’t think of a better day to share a handful of those lessons than today.

Daisy Morris: You don’t owe anything to anyone - even if you have lots of followers

This one is important.

We talk a lot about the importance of setting boundaries when it comes to our relationship with social media, but for those who rely on these platforms for work, the line isn’t always as clear cut.

Daisy speaks fantastically on this, reminding us that if you’re going to show up, you need the capacity to do so properly. That means - if you’re not feeling good - you owe it to yourself and the community you are building to take the time you need to rest and feel like yourself again.

It also means working not to get weighed down by other people’s needs and opinions. You are in control of your feed; you know the kind of community you want to build and you can’t be everything to everyone - so don’t try to be.

Be thoughtful about your content, check in with yourself regularly and remember, the only person you owe a thing to, is you.

Seyi Akiwowo: We’re all recovering dickheads

Social media has fast-tracked this narrative that we were all born perfect when in reality, we are all on a journey of learning and unlearning. If we don’t embrace this, and the mistakes that come with it, then people are going to close up. They aren’t going, to be honest about where they’re at and people aren’t going to be able to have real conversations with each other.

As a result, we’re creating idols of people; expecting the actors and performers we enjoy to be everything to us and that just isn’t sustainable - or realistic.

We need to differentiate between genuine mistakes and genuine harm.

And we need to remember that we are better as part of a community that supports one another through their growth.

Lucy Sheridan: Think about who you follow

There is a lot of emphasis placed on the unfollowing of accounts that make us feel bad, and whilst there’s value in it, Lucy encourages us to consider this as a short-term solution.

Instead, our focus should be on encouraging people to think carefully about who they choose to follow in the first place.

It comes back to the point of taking personal responsibility for our feelings. We need to spend as much time interrogating what it is that makes us feel good as we do considering the things that make us feel bad. We need to get to grips with our values, drivers and the things that bring us joy and motivation.

We then need to be following people with these things in mind, asking ourselves what having this person’s perspective on our feeds will add to us.

After all, we are the ones telling the algorithm what to show us, so by being intentional with that follow button, we are able to push it in our favour, feeding it things that are reflective of our values instead of things that tear us down.

Tiwalola - Think in abundance

When we think in abundance, it’s much easier to see that there is room for all of us at the top.

It’s much easier to realise that someone else winning doesn’t mean that we are losing. 

After all, our success is not dependent on someone else’s failure, it’s dependent on us seeing our own potential and working hard to achieve it.

Once we understand this, it also becomes clear that there is no harm in successful people being loud about it. In fact, it’s actually helpful to those looking to follow in their footsteps.

When people who are doing good are open about how they are doing it, they help bring others up with them.

Nobody wins when women and girls are insecure, but everybody wins when those with the tools to do so speak up and share their knowledge.

Anna Codrea-Rado: Productivity dysmorphia is a common experience

Anna coined the phrase in a bid to describe the feeling of not being able to see one’s own success, and in doing so, has given us all a way to verbalise what seems to be an increasingly common experience.

Existing alongside our ambition, we put unbelievable effort into our work whilst simultaneously robbing ourselves of the ability to enjoy the fruits of that productivity.

It is different to Imposter Syndrome, having nothing to do with a lack of confidence in one’s own ability and instead having everything to do with a persistent perception problem when it comes to understanding the significance of it.

Anna pins the cause of this phenomenon on a few things, namely burnout, alienation from our work and the way social media is warping our view of success.

Gina Martin: Hate is loud but positivity can be too

People doing good tend to be quiet but that doesn’t mean they aren’t there. 

We just need to search to find them.

It’s the joyful moments they bring that - for the last 2 years especially - have allowed us to come back to the difficult things. 

They’ve kept us going; given us something to hold onto when the world is at its bleakest.

Their importance has never been clearer, and I hope we don’t lose sight of it as the world returns to ‘normal’. 

I hope we always look for the good amongst the bad and find time to be silly amongst the serious. 

I know I feel dejected when I don’t. 

Chloe Brotheridge: We need to separate what we actually want from we are told we should want

This one is definitely easier said than done! Especially when social media means we have constant access to the thoughts, feelings and achievements of everyone around us.

We get sucked into the worlds of people we’ve never met, watching them move abroad, get promoted into leadership positions and get engaged. We see them publicly celebrated with loving comments and double taps from people all over. And we start to soak up the idea that we should be aiming for the same things, forgetting to stop and ask ourselves whether we actually want them.

So, how do you actually decipher your dream from someone else’s?

A huge part of the answer is to take the time to really get to know yourself away from the noise of the outside world. To reflect on everything you’ve achieved so far; to picture what you’d like your life to look like in 5, 10, 20 years' time, and to consider what it is you really care about; the things you couldn’t live without. 

From there, you can start to get a clearer picture of your purpose, driving forces and values - all ion which become the foundation for the goals you will go on to set and achieve for yourself, and no one else.

If you’d like to hear more of my conversations with these amazing women, their episodes are linked below:

Daisy: https://bit.ly/3hcqc8H

Seyi: https://bit.ly/3xk7F1z

Lucy: https://bit.ly/3dFfg1C

Tiwalola: https://bit.ly/3mJz217

Anna: https://bit.ly/3A86ZxL

Gina: https://bit.ly/3oo5Ddw

Chloe: https://bit.ly/3oFLCzf