8 Foolproof Practices of Consistently Calm People

Abe Brown, MBA, M.R.Ed, PCC Everyone is calm from time to time. However, there’s a difference between being calm occasionally and being calm consistently. And many times, we tend to take the easy way out. What do I mean by that? We often use our stress as an excuse for our uptightness and lack of serenity. Now, I want you to know that my heart is in the right place when I say this…

But the truth is that we don’t have the same severity of problems that plagued us a thousand years ago. Yes, we still have issues, and yes, those issues are valid. Absolutely. But they are incomparable to what our ancient ancestors faced. And for that reason, I’ll tell you what: we should all be thanking our lucky stars. Stress management is key to emotional realignment.

We need to learn how to manage our emotions so that we don't go off the deep end. With that in mind, I want to share with you 8 foolproof practices that consistently calm people do. 

1. Unload (Venting)

Consistently calm people vent. They don’t let their emotions and frustrations get bottled up inside them. This is the process of verbally expressing thoughts and feelings in a relatively healthy way. Now, for venting to be a valid thing, you need a talker and a listener. Having the listener (someone who is actually paying attention to what you have to say) is what gives this process its therapeutic release. 

Venting is having a person (or small group of people) whom you can go and be real with. It’s about having that trusted support system you can talk to openly and honestly. When a listener is present, the talker feels heard, and the venting phenomenon comes into play. This can help alleviate stress and increase personal empowerment.

2. Reload

Buddha once said, “You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection.” I want you to think about that. How could you show yourself love and affection? Many people will respond with, “Oh I need the all-inclusive trip to Mexico.”Okay, I guess that’s one way.

Another is how about you just show up daily with this little thing called health-related self-care. We tend to give lip service to the idea of self-care but have a difficult time actually doing it in real life. We all know that eating healthy and exercising every day reduces the risk of disease, makes us stronger, gives us more energy, and helps us live longer—all of it.

Yet few people actually do this stuff. So, can I respectfully suggest that this is your year not only to unload but reload? I know for me, I’m a very calm person. I’ll tell you what: my resting heart rate, you’d think I’m almost dead. 

3. Remember What Really Matters

There are kinds of “emergencies” that pop up in our lives. But how many of those things are actually a crisis? Very few. I think we just need a better filter. Steve Jobs once said, “Being the richest man in the cemetery doesn’t matter to me. But going to bed at night saying we’ve done something wonderful, that’s what matters to me.” 

What if you have the biggest following on social media or have the biggest bank account of anyone you know, but you never did anything truly meaningful? Don’t get pulled by the “tyranny of the urgent.” 

4. Get Their Worth From Healthy Places 

Take a moment to self-assess where you’ve been getting your worth from. And let me tell you, if it’s from unhealthy places, your self-worth will be up and down like a toilet seat. Listen, when you know your worth, you move differently. Your self-worth influences every facet of your life: The way you talk, dress, act, and live. 

Everything you do is affected by the level of value you place on yourself. And what I’ve found is that we can oftentimes feel stress because we’re getting our worth from all the wrong places.

5. Manage Controllables and Non-Controllables Well

If you’ve listened to me for more than 5 seconds, you know that I’m a big fan of this next quality. Too many of us are losing our cool over things we can’t control. And one thing that consistently calm people do is they manage the controllables and non-controllables well. Here’s the deal… If you’re stressing over what you can’t control, it creates a ripple effect on the things you can. 

Because it makes you stressed over both and then you bring that negative energy into both. So, here’s my basic strategy in life: Take a look at all the problems you’re facing, and then divide them into controllables and non-controllables. And then just put all your energy into what is within your sphere of influence (i.e., what you can control). 

The controllables need an action plan and the non-controllables need a coping plan. And that’s how you move forward in life while keeping a consistently calm demeanor about you. 

6. Live Day by Day

It’s crazy what you think about it… But most of the worry in our lives is about things that have happened in the past that we can’t change or the things that may or may not happen in the future that have not (or may not) come to pass. Imagine if you stopped living in the past and the future and just started living in today. 

If you just focused on living in the moment, imagine what that would do for your peace and calm. Because here’s the deal… By living in today, you’re focusing on the only thing you have control over: What you do here and now. Whenever I find myself losing my calm, it’s always because I started ruminating about my regrets in the past or began giving myself reasons to be fearful about the future. 

As a result, I began living in the past and the future, which took me out of the present moment. What I’ve learned is that I have to be conscious and deliberate about maximizing today! Because if I do what I need to do to take care of today, then tomorrow is going to take care of itself. 

However, this idea has a caveat. You actually have to set yourself up for success. If you just lay around and do nothing today, then, of course, tomorrow is going to be horrible for you. So, maximize today by making the most out of this moment. And that will set you up for success tomorrow. 

7. Purpose Driven

Alex Harmozi once said, “A focused fool will accomplish more than a distracted genius.” Now, I’ve been that focused fool; I’ve also been a distracted genius. I’ve been that person in the past with all kinds of ideas and thoughts but I ended up never getting anything done. I didn’t have any stickability or focus. Since I’ve been on both ends of the spectrum, I can say that it’s much better to be the focused fool. 

It’s amazing how having focus gives you follow-through. I think many times, we lose our calm because we’ve lost our clarity. Here’s the thing… The more clear you are, the more calm you are. So, if you want to be calm, you must become purpose-driven. 

8. Honor Downtime

Your brain needs more downtime. Whether it’s a nap, meditation, or nature walks, you need more time to decompress and get away from it all. These kinds of mental breaks increase productivity, boost attention, and can even encourage creativity. The more rested you are, the more calm you are. 

Final Thoughts

At Flourishing Workplace, we believe in a workplace where everyone belongs, everything thrives, and everyone contributes. And our mission is to change the world by changing the workplace. So, if you’re ready to create that kind of flourishing culture in your organization, we can help. Contact us today for a free discovery call.

About the Author

Abe Brown, MBA, CMCT, CPHSA is the Coach’s Coach, and is an Entrepreneur, Professional Speaker, International Best-Selling Author, and High-Performance Leadership Coach. He is the founder of Certified Flourishing Coaching™ and Flourishing Workplace. Abe is also the author of the Certified Flourishing Coaching™ Programs.