8 Steps for Mental Energy

You probably noticed. It feels harder these days to maintain your energy and vitality. You may feel like you are dragging yourself through the day. Even your super hot extra venti latte isn't doing the trick anymore.

In this age of technology, we can be more efficient in so many ways. Yet, most would agree that we seem to have less time than ever. 

In fact, our research found that in a 12-hour day, the average working adult spends less than an hour engaging in self-care. Instead, the never-ending to-do list dominates their days, and they plop into bed feeling that they failed to be productive at home and at work.

In this article, we consider the top 8 tips for focusing more of your mental energy on nurturing and rewarding activities and less on those that leave you feeling drained and unfulfilled. 

8 Ways to Improve Your Mental Energy & Mindfulness

#1. Maintain a gratitude practice. You may be aware that it’s important to be grateful, but did you know that gratitude actually makes people happier? Yes! The research is overwhelmingly consistent in finding that people who practice gratitude have more joy in their lives. 

In fact, gratitude has been called a ‘happiness shortcut’. 

But gratitude is not something you have or don’t have. It is not even a feeling per se. Gratitude is something you do. It is a behavior. 

If you want to be happy, you have to literally practice being grateful.

Look around you right now. What is good about your situation? Are you able to take a deep breath? Great. Your lungs are working. Do you have a cute dog over in the corner of the room taking a peaceful nap? Perfect. What a model citizen for being happy and content in the present moment. Is there food in the fridge? Wonderful. Can you get a tall glass of water whenever you want? What a privilege.

It only takes a moment to recognize all these gifts. It’s just a moment that will change your life. 

#2. Reduce resistance. One way to use your mind’s precious energy in a more productive and healthy way is to reduce your resistance. It is human nature to resist what is, in favor of how we think things ‘should be’. 

Even more of a time waster, is the energy spent on wishing the past could have been any different. 

You can’t unhappen this happening.

Your mind wants you to believe you can, but you simply can’t. Acceptance and forgiveness is the acknowledgement that there’s not a thing we can do to change the past. Try as we might, we can’t make the past any different than it was. We can’t undo what someone said to us, the mistakes we made, the situations that didn’t go our way. 

Practice accepting reality. Sometimes it rains on your birthday. Sometimes you have to be somewhere and you drive right into traffic. Maybe the car in front of you is having a Sunday afternoon drive on your Monday morning. Maybe you wanted to grab those airline tickets while they were on sale and now the prices went up. Okay, can we learn to accept it. 

Sometimes, actually a lot of the time, things don’t go as we expected. The sooner we get over it, the happier we will be.

#3. Practice letting go. Perhaps the most important practice of all for a healthy mental state is the act of letting go. Far too much energy is wasted in mistakes, regrets, and resentments from yesterday. 

We spend too much time in the land of  ‘woulda, coulda, shoulda.’ 

We think everything would be fine if only this hadn’t happened. We wish and hope that we could take back some mistake we made. We wait and long for an apology from someone who has harmed us. But most of the time that apology never comes.

Regrets and resentments from the past are the cause of our suffering.

The longer we stay in the ‘woulda, coulda, shoulda’ place, the more we suffer. If we can learn to let go of the fact that life will not always unfold the way we want, we can enjoy the moment in front of us.

If we can look around at what we are grateful for, our lives will become more enriched, fulfilling, and joyful.

#4. Allow emotions. We have all been there. We try so hard not to be angry, disappointed, or frustrated. The harder we try, the worse we feel. In these moments we are doing what psychologists call ‘repressing emotions.’ 

It’s not a surprise that repressed rhymes with depressed. 

Those emotions do not simply go away. In fact, the harder we resist, the more fervently they take over our mental state. Over time, we feel a looming sense of doom, stress, or sadness. 

What can we do about this? Be kind to ALL of your feelings. Invite them in like an unexpected house guest. Welcome them through your front door. As soon as you let them in, you are likely to find that they won’t stay very long. Most emotions only last a minute or two. Let them in and let them go.

#5. Break the stress cycle. As humans, our bodies are pre-programmed to respond to stressful situations. Our bodies know exactly how to mobilize to protect us. For acute stress, this response is perfect. If there really is a danger lurking, you need your body to get ready to run. 

If there really is a dragon about to blow some fire in your face, you are ready.

The blood runs out of our stomachs and into our legs. Have you ever noticed that upset stomach feeling in these moments? Have you felt a tightness in your thighs? That’s your body’s way of taking your energy off digestion and putting it into running away from danger. 

Of course in modern life, the real dangers are few. 

The perceived anxiety provoking situations are many. What happens is not acute stress but chronic stress. We are not built for that. 

To manage it, you need to help your body let go of it. 

A few strategies are: a hardy laugh, a good cry, vigorous exercise, or a dance party. Any activity in nature is great for breaking out of stress too. My personal favorite is driving around listening to a song on full volume and singing my heart out.

Choose your favorite. 

Notice as you wrap up the activity how the chitter chatter of your mind is slowed down or paused for a moment. Yes, it will be back, but you have given your body a chance to recover from it. You will be restored and renewed so that you can face the next moment with more grace and ease.

#6. Stop complaining. As obvious as this sounds, we all fall victim to this cycle of complaining. Something unpleasant happens and we get sucked into a negative spiral. 

...Maybe it’s raining on the day of your outdoor birthday party.

...Maybe you are in a hurry to get somewhere and you run into traffic.

...Maybe you thought it was going to be the perfect dinner date and you have slow service at the restaurant. 

The problem is not the seemingly unpleasant situation; it’s in our reaction to it. Mindfulness guru Michael Singer explains it this way, 

“The moment in front of you is not what’s bothering you. You are bothering yourself about the moment in front of you.”

Keep in mind that the situation will not be changed just because you don’t like it. The service at the restaurant won’t necessarily improve after you complain to the manager. Certainly, the rain will not stop raining as you complain about how it is ruining your birthday party. 

What is the cost of complaining? And what is the benefit? It’s about 100% cost and 0 benefit. Okay, sometimes your complaints have some positive outcome. Maybe one uber driver becomes slightly better after your negative rating. Maybe once in a while your feedback improves the service at the restaurant. 

Most often, complaining is a colossal waste of time. 

Most of the time complaining is just causing you and your loved ones distress. Do yourself a favor, put your energy somewhere else. You don’t have to be a ray of sunshine every day but can you refrain from commenting on every negative experience you ever have? Can you stop to notice something else? You and your loved ones will be the better for it.

#7. Notice your thoughts. We all have an internal experience as we go out and encounter the external world. There is an internal dialogue that has something to say regarding just about everything. 

Researchers estimate that we have about 60,000 thoughts per day. 

Unfortunately, though, most of these thoughts are negative. Worse yet? Most of these negative narratives are untrue. 

But rarely do we stop to examine the thoughts. Often, we don’t even recognize thoughts for what they are. Thoughts are temporary and often have no factual basis whatsoever. Even more importantly, your thoughts aren't who you are.

Thoughts are not you. 

If you were the thoughts, you wouldn’t be able to recognize you have thoughts. You are the one experiencing those thoughts coming up in your mind. You are the one in there who gets to decide whether to follow them. 

Take a moment to ask yourself if this thought is true. 

Take another moment to ask yourself if this thought is helpful. If not, don’t bother arguing with your mind. Simply put your attention somewhere else. These thoughts will lose their grip and you will be much calmer and more content as a result.

#8. Scan for the positive. As humans, we are naturally wired to scan our environments for risks and dangers. We do have the ability, though, to notice and attend to a more optimistic view. 

This viewpoint can only be achieved through intentional practice. Our default view will likely be pessimistic and risk averse. Yet, the power of our intentions cannot be underestimated.

 We get to choose where to put our attention. 

Generally, situations have a negative side and a ‘flip side’. One little trick you can do is flip the coin in your mind. 

Flip the coin in your head.

First think to yourself, "What is the worst thing about this situation?" Okay, now ask yourself to find something good about it, even if just a little bit.

Almost always, there’s a gift in the negative event. It’s okay to see that there are two sides to the coin. That’s not denial. That’s acknowledging the reality of our limited perspective. We only know what we know based on a limited set of experiences we have had.

Is it possible there’s more to this situation? Of course.

Get curious about that possibility. This curious mindset will take you down a whole different path. The power to choose where we focus our energy is one of our greatest gifts. Use your attention wisely.

Congratulations! 

You have done yourself and all who know you a great service today. You have taken the time to learn how your mind works and the conditions to nurture it into a healthier and more optimistic state. In this piece, we learned about the importance of gratitude. This strategy is #1 for a reason. If all you do today is spend a little more time being grateful, you have accomplished a great feat. 

We talked about the importance of letting go, allowing for emotions, and reducing resistance. A great deal of our suffering comes from our resistance to life being as it is. 

Even more painful is any energy focused on wishing the past could have been any different. Remember, you can't unhappen this happening. We must learn to let go of these events that can’t be changed. 

Even if you just try these things for minutes each day, you will start feeling better. Really. You get so much power from where you choose to cast your attention. Shine your light on the places, thoughts, and perspectives that align best with your true values and intentions. The work you do on your own mindset is the most important work you will ever do.