Accepting People As They Are

“Accept the things to which fate binds you, and love the people with whom fate brings you together, but do so with all your heart.” - Marcus Aurelius

The Universe gives us many opportunities to learn and grow, often when we least expect it.  We have the opportunity to learn the most in the relationships we develop throughout our lifetime. 

It may seem that we meet people randomly, but if we can agree that we are all spiritual beings here for a little while to experience mortality, perhaps those meetings are not so random after all and may have a deeper meaning. 

Whether people come into our lives as members of our family or by choice, we all have been in relationships that have had a tremendous impact on our lives, in either a positive or negative way.

Along with those that may have a positive influence on us, there are others, who may have had a profoundly negative impact on our lives.  For some, the negative impact may include various forms of trauma, betrayal, disappointment, and hurt. 

It is easy to understand how fate may have delivered people into our lives to uplift us, but we struggle to comprehend how people who have hurt us, could have been placed in our lives to provide any value. 

Reflect on the people who have shaped and influenced your character throughout your lifetime. Some may have wounded you, while others may have loved you through your hurt, pain, and sorrow. Life will present us with both positive and negative forces to allow us to learn and grow. 

Forgiving those who may have or are hurting you, is a way of accepting that which is beyond your control and letting go. It is both important and freeing to realize that whatever someone may have done to hurt you, is based upon their current level of understanding of who they are and what made some sense to them, at the time. They were doing the best they knew how to do, no matter how inadequate or hurtful their “best” may have been. It does not excuse their behavior in any way, but it does provide context and understanding. Pain in any form that is inflicted on you is a reflection of that person’s behavior, not yours. No one “deserves” to be harmed. 

Arriving at this realization has been so very impactful for me, in coming to terms with my own traumas in life. Letting go of pain, hurt, anger, disappointment, and betrayal is vital for your spiritual and personal development. Forgiveness is for you, more than it is for the person who has offended you. It allows you to reclaim power from your tormentor, elevating you from feeling as though you are a victim, transforming you instead into a victor. 

Cherish deeply those who have been willing to share their love, support, and kindness with you, as the gifts from the Universe that they truly are. Love them and hold them close to your heart, giving them your support and love, as they face their own challenges. 

No one really travels alone in this life. The friends and various relationships you make along the way are the greatest teachers. They can bring out the best in you and also challenge you to overcome your worst instincts. 

Perhaps the greatest challenge in life is how to maneuver with grace and calm, within all of your relationships, including the difficult ones: whether at home, with extended family, neighbors, friends, or the strangers you meet. 

Be open to accepting people where they are in their life, especially if it differs from your level of understanding. This does not mean that you have to like or accept disrespectful or hurtful behavior. But, if you accept the person as they are, this just may turn difficult moments into lighter ones. 

There is great power in accepting people as they are in their current state of development, including accepting yourself as you are, right now. 

You may never know the impact you may have on someone’s life. As you strive to be fully present in each moment as it shows up, you will develop a greater capacity to be patient, empathetic, loving, and kind toward those who may not be functioning at their best level (including yourself). 

If you are struggling in your relationships and feeling stuck, transformational coaching may help. Message me at: elizabethmlykinspac@gmail.com 

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