Advice If You Have A Hard Time Saying "No"

I was recently asked by a friend, "What advice would you give to someone who has a hard time saying, No?"

My advice came in a set of three.

1. I would start by looking at what are the things that are most important that You must do and want to do. Include what work responsibilities you have that are 'must do’s' - the tasks that are high on Your Priority List... For Work vs other tasks. Other tasks can include non-urgent email, preparing for a volunteer meeting happening next week, too many casual 'chats', social media or perhaps other people’s responsibilities that are not urgent. As you do this priority mapping, do the same with your personal life. Create Your Priority List... For You. Explore what is most important for you with your family and friends. Also be sure to prioritize time for you to relax, recharge, be creative and find time to explore new things, learn and grow.
2. Second, I suggest taking time to answer the question, "When I have said Yes in the past, especially to things that are lower on my priority list, why do I say yes?" Are you saying yes to be nice? Are you saying yes out of guilt? Are you saying yes to avoid doing something less desirable on YOUR priority list? Or (and this really is a big one), are the other people really asking or are you volunteering?
3. Once you have done that work, I encourage you to practice how to say No. For a start, instead of saying "No" how about trying “Yes, I’d like to help you. I have something urgent I have to take care of, but I have time later this afternoon at 3PM (or tomorrow) for an hour. Can we meet then and I’ll be all yours?” This is a great approach, especially if you feel guilty about saying "No". The beauty of this approach is I bet often you will find people solve their challenge by then, you get to take 5-minutes to hear their great solution (and perhaps add one suggestion), and you still get to be known as a willing team player... all while still focusing on your priority list.

Conclusion:

I hope you found what I have shared with you to be of use and interest.

I am happy to answer questions and will be happy to discuss further, anything of interest. You can reach me through my website at www.brucemayhewconsulting.com

Be wonderful.

Bruce

Executive Coach, Corporate Trainer & Keynote Speaker / Conference Speaker

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