Affectionate Psychopaths: Unmasking Charming Manipulators in the Workplace

It’s been a while since I last shared my thoughts here on LinkedIn, and in that time, my life has transformed in ways I could not have anticipated. These changes, both personal and professional, have brought me closer to understanding the complexities of human nature. My journey in Compliance has become much more than a career – it has been an invitation to unravel the biological, chemical, and especially psychological threads that weave together our behaviors. Recently, I took a deeper plunge into this world by embarking on a new academic path, enrolling in a Bachelor of Science in Psychology (BS), and immersing myself in the realms of neuroscience and philosophy. Through this exploration, I’ve come to recognize a new and unsettling type of professional I hadn’t clearly seen before: the “affectionate psychopath” – a figure whose charm and warmth disguise something far more dangerous. I’ve had the displeasure of working with individuals who fit this profile, professionals with ASPD capable of causing severe psychological harm to employees while still being well-regarded by the collective. Their skill in masking manipulative and harmful behaviors behind a veneer of charm makes them particularly insidious in the workplace.

At first glance, the “affectionate psychopath” may appear to be a model employee, blending seamlessly into the corporate environment. Charismatic, extroverted, well-spoken, and quick to smile, this individual often exudes qualities we might admire in our closest friend or even seek in a romantic partner. It’s no wonder that many of us feel drawn to, or even mesmerized by, this type of colleague. Strategically, they make us feel welcomed, valued, or special, earning our trust while subtly lowering our unconscious defenses against the looming threat. Our brains are wired to protect us from external dangers, constantly scanning for signs of harm or deceit. But it is precisely because of this that the affectionate fraudster must first gain our trust through a sense of belonging and acceptance. By disarming us emotionally, they bypass our natural barriers, leaving us vulnerable to their true intentions.

Yet, beneath the layers of charm and easy rapport lurks something far darker – a figure reminiscent of the monster in Robert Louis Stevenson’s tales. The question is, can we peel back this facade and identify the pathological tendencies hidden within, simply by observing how they communicate? This question brings us to the nature of psychopathy itself.

Psychopathy, as described in the literature, is a severe form of antisocial personality disorder marked by a profound lack of empathy and remorse, grandiose self-perception, superficial charm, and poor impulse control (Chakhssi et al., 2014). While the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-5) does not use “psychopathy” as a distinct diagnosis, it includes these traits under “Antisocial Personality Disorder (ASPD)” and recognizes a “with psychopathic features” specifier, highlighting manipulativeness, shallow emotionality, and a charming facade. These features are not always apparent on the surface, making the “affectionate psychopath” particularly elusive in professional settings.

 Aina Sundt Gullhaugen et al., in their study “What Can We Learn About Psychopathic Offenders by Studying Their Communication?”, found that psychopathic individuals often exhibit manipulative language patterns, such as using superficial charm, shifting blame, and displaying a lack of emotional depth. Their speech may be characterized by a detached and callous tone, with a tendency to rationalize or justify harmful behaviors. The behaviors of psychopaths, as noted by Robert Hare – creator of the Psychopathy Checklist-Revised (PCL-R) – are often captivating but dangerous, as charm and grandiosity mask impulsivity, irresponsibility, deceit, and shallow emotions.

To understand the communication of individuals with ASPD, we must look beyond their words to the subtleties of how they convey messages. Drawing on Lacanian theory, we can understand the communication of individuals with ASPD through the concept of “inter-dit”. Lacan used this term to highlight how meaning often resides in what is implied or left unsaid – communicated between the lines. The “affectionate psychopath” leverages this type of communication, using the unspoken or subtly suggested to manipulate perceptions. In this “inter-ditum”, the true message is not in the explicit words but in the hidden nuances, allowing them to project sincerity while concealing their real intentions. Communication for them is often not about connection but manipulation, as they use their verbal and nonverbal cues to mislead. Studies have shown that their speech may seem ordinary, but it is often theatrical, defensive, or contradictory, accompanied by a monotone voice, silver-tongued eloquence (or the qualities of an eloquent speaker), unusual rhythms, or exaggerated pauses. In sum, psychopathy can manifest in communication through a focus on certain topics, disorganization, and specific emotional, relational, and physical traits.

 This complex reality presents a particular challenge for Compliance professionals. Recognizing “affectionate psychopath” requires an acute awareness of their manipulation tactics and the ability to discern genuine behavior from deception. In general, individuals with Antisocial Personality Disorder (ASPD) are predisposed to non-conformity and deviant behaviors, including fraud, harassment (both moral and sexual), and corruption. These individuals may employ physical gestures or affection, such as a reassuring touch, not as sincere expressions of care, but as tools to build false trust. Such behaviors can disarm the most experienced investigator, creating an illusion of cooperation while masking their true intentions.

 This is precisely why Compliance professionals must exercise heightened caution in their work environments, especially during investigations. These cunning fraudsters, adept in the art of manipulation, can quickly earn the trust and empathy of investigators, often by verbally emphasizing their dedication to ethics and compliance. But beneath the veneer of sincerity lies a well-crafted smokescreen, designed to obscure the truth. Their charm is a potent distraction, drawing the investigator's attention and creating a false sense of reassurance. It’s a performance of “sleight-of-hand,” where words and gestures serve as a magician's tools, hiding the true manipulation at play. For Compliance teams, recognizing these tactics is not just a valuable skill – it is essential. The ability to look beyond the facade, to question whether the show of cooperation is genuine or merely a sophisticated ruse, can mean the difference between exposing a fraud and falling prey to it. Understanding the deceptive nature of the “affectionate psychopath” empowers Compliance professionals to cut through the illusion and uncover the truth.

#WorkplacePsychology #ToxicLeadership #ASPDInTheWorkplace #ManipulationAwareness