The AI investment fest- corporate hunger games edition
Marco van Hurne
I build AI companies | Data Science Strategy | Data Governance | Certified AI Compliance Officer | The Future Group | Beyond the Cloud | Author of the Machine Learning Book of Knowledge
Oh boy, you know what time it is? It's time to strap in (or on, whatever you prefer, I don’t care), and prepare to go on a ride through the absolutely bonkers world of corporate AI investments. This blog will not be your grandma's tech analysis, folks.
No, no, no.
I’m about to go charge full throttle into the heart of this corporate AI investment scheme, Illuminati-style!
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As you might have guessed from my roaring intro, this not just going to be some boring business story. No-sure-ee. This is about the freakin’ Hunger Games of BIG tech. Because you've got every major player out there throwing their billions around like drunk gamblers at a strip club. But this isn't your average casino night, folks.
The chips they're playing with… oh, just the future of humanity itself.
No biggy.
This here, peeps, is the AI rat race. And it’s the place where billion-dollar bets and completely bonkers valuations are the name of the game. And let me tell you, the winners and losers in this game are going to shape the world as we know it.
But you and me...
We are not even invited to the table.
I feel like I am watching the popular kids at school again who are dividing up the world while I am stuck eating my sad little peanut butter sandwiches in the corner with my equally nerdy friends.... hi Marc Drees , how are you doing these days?
And of course, the FTC is there as well, the ever present janitor who pretends to keep an eye on things. But let's be real…..they are as effective as a hall monitor in a school full of chaos-loving teenagers. It's like I'm watching my dachshund trying to herd a pack of wild Rhinos.
Good luck with that.
And the dachshunds are at least effective hearders
Now watch the video (click accept, ya n@@bs):
Who da homies makin’ moves
So, let's zoom in now, on some of the key players in this game of corporate greed.
I’m going to start with Microsoft. The big daddy of AI investments.
They went in with a staggeringly high $13 billion cash splash in OpenAI. That is more cash than most countries have in their whole damn budget. And what did they get in return? Indeed... an assistant that parrots you, and mimicks you to death.
Essentially, they have become OpenAI's sugar daddy landlord, and they are providing a pipeline of coin, and of course the Azure cloud that powers all their wild (energy-)sucking ambitions.
The Microsoft-OpenAI relationship screams "We are totally partners, but don't you dare outshine us". Of course Microsoft is playing the long game here, but they are also hedging their bets like a paranoid gambler would who doesn't even trust his own lucky dice. Becuase they have got their fingers in all sorts of AI pies. And that includes a cheeky little $16 million side hustle in Mistral AI on the side.
Gotta spread those chips around, am I right?
But I haven't even gotten to the juiciest part yet.
Here comes Nvidia, the Thanos of GPU computing power, who is quietly ruling the AI world from behind the scenes like Emperor Palpatine.
You do want to train your fancy little AI model, don’t you? So you better believe you need Nvidia's chips to do it. And believe me, they are not a supplier. They are the freaking oxygen that the entire AI industry needs to breathe.
But don't think for a second that Nvidia is only playing back-office here.
Oh noooo, they’re placing bets on so many horses they might well buy the whole racetrack. They have got their schticky little fingers in all of the AI pies, including of course OpenAI to Perplexity and Mistral AI. They are the the kingpin dealer in the world’s biggest cocaine empire. They have got the purest stash, and everyone else is just scrambling for a line to stay in the game.
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And Amazon, being just…Amazon, is playing Forrest Gump because they are playing a whole different game, on their own.
You thought they were just the upstream Temu, slinging cheap junk and questionable product reviews? Ha, think again dear gullible peeps. They have dumped a vat of $8 billion coin into Anthropic, and now Anthropic is basically their child bride in an arranged marriage to AWS for life. But that's not enough for old Jeff B. Oooh nooooo. He had to go and sprinkle a little of his own personal cash into Perplexity, and turn them into an AI powered Amazon light.
So much for my hope for Perplexity and the good intentions of AI (read: Perplexity AI is "swinging" with Amazon | LinkedIn).
Amazon's whole deal, though, is only partially about the money. Because they want to make damn sure that when the AI revolution finally takes over the world, that it is running on their own cloud servers. They are not only a player in this here hunger game… they are building the whole freaking maze.
Google is out there, sweatin’ like a dealer at a cop convention
Let’s not forget about Alphabet, the almighty daddy company of Google. They are over here cramping their buttcheeks and watching OpenAI's ambitions grow like marihuana. Their solution is to casually toss a cool $2 billion coin at Anthropic as a "preemptive strike". Because god forbid anyone comes for their precious search engine crown.
Well, for now they won’t have to worry, because ChatGPT hallucinates harder than a crackhead on shrooms at a Pink Floyd laser show.
Buuut let's be real.
Google’s actions are not about protecting their search empire. It's about staying relevant in our world that is evolving way faster than cockroaches can multiply at Chernobyl. Alphabet's whole strategy here reeks of desperation masked as genius. It's like when I drop off my kids at school, and I desperately try to fit in with the cool kids by blasting outdated 180 bpm good ol' Dutch rave music from the car.
And then there's the rest of the gang - the Salesforces, the Samsungs, the SK Telecoms, and the Qualcomms of the world. These guys are spraying cash like it’s Axe body spray, hoping to mask their desperation. Their venture capital side hustle companies are out here sprinkling cash on Anthropic, and Mistral, and Perplexity like they're trying to make it rain. But cool down for a second. This dollar planting is not about some grand strategy. It is about straight-up FOMO. No bald headed corporate stooge wants to be the loser who missed out on the next big thing.
Oh, before I forget. Let’s talk about the ghost of FTX. Yeah, that absolute dumpster fire of a crypto exchange that somehow managed to get it fat fingers into Anthropic before it went up in flames.
This is a lesson to our offspring... it is a story of caution which is wrapped up in a meme: “not all money is created equal, and some of it comes with a giant, flaming warning label attached”, because FTX’s cash is a Trojan horse on fire which just rolled straight up in your ____ .
So where AI finna go from here, huh?
Basically, it means that a handful of mega-corporations with more money than sense are out here playing god. These investments are just a wild mix of power moves, and desperate hedges, and ego trips. Microsoft's $13 billion "partnership" with OpenAI is a declaration of dominance. Nvidia's so-called neutrality…. please, that's just their way of making sure everyone is hopelessly dependent on them. And Amazon's massive $8 billion bet on Anthropic is not an investment, that's a goddamn declaration of war.
But why on earth should you care about any of this?
Good question, if I say so myself.
Because these corporate chess moves are not all about just coin, coin, and more coin. They-are-about-control.
The AI industry is out here reshaping al aspect of our lives as we know it. They are changing the way we shop (Hi Perplexity!), to the way we gather the "truth" (Howdy ChatGPT!), to the way we work (What work?).
And these mega-corporations are positioning themselves as the gatekeepers of that future.
It doesn’t matter if it’s Microsoft who is dictating the terms of your productivity, or Nvidia controlling the hardware that is making AI possible, or even Amazon who wants to make sure that your hallucinating AI assistant runs on their servers. The stakes could not be higher at this moment.
In this wild, wild west of every fledgling industry, there is only one rule: the odds will always be ever in favor of the tech cabal calling the shots behind closed doors.
Signing-off from the trenches of butt-clenchin’ billionaires,
Marco
Well, that's a wrap for today. Tomorrow, I'll have a fresh episode of TechTonic Shifts for you. If you enjoy my writing and want to support my work, feel free to buy me a coffee ♨️
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