The Aloha Friday Newsletter

This Aloha Friday is a special one because it is the first one in Pride Month.

While so much progress has been made in workplace culture when it comes to inclusivity and diversity, Pride Month is an important time to reflect on all the different ways we can do more, especially in the workplace. 

Work is, after all, where most of us spend the majority of our time. And the sense of belonging is so important, not only for morale but also for productivity and motivation. If someone is constantly worried about being accepted for who they are, they don’t have the capacity to be productive and passionate about the work that they’re doing. All their energy is going into wearing a mask that they feel is acceptable in the workplace.

The work we do, for many of us, is tied very directly to our sense of identity, purpose, and fulfillment. Making sure your company/workplace is respectful of all gender orientations and identities and having inclusive policies that treat all people equally is a great start. But remember, people follow what you do, not what you say. You can have all the right policies and say all the right things about inclusivity but if you are misgendering people, if you aren’t taking the time to get to know and understand the people you lead, then all that talk is just that…talk.

This Pride Month, let’s focus on the similarities, instead of the differences between us. We are all human. We all want to belong somewhere and be understood. And we all deserve the chance to have that, especially in the place where we put so much of our time, energy, and heart.

A very happy Pride to all! 

Dear Aunty Dana Mahina...

…I want to work on my personal growth but it feels overwhelming. Where do I even start?…

Personal growth is something that we ALL need to be focusing on. Learning and trying to become happier, more well-rounded individuals is key to not only living a more fulfilling life but also to staying marketable and relevant so that you can achieve your career goals.

So here are your bonafide, Dana Mahina-approved transformative personal growth techniques to help you become a more joyful person and live your life in a way that makes sense for you.

Practice Gratitude

We spend so much of our lives running (sometimes dead-sprinting) from one thing that we want to the next. We want a promotion. We work for it, we get it. Now, we want a new car. We work for it, we get it. Now, we want to go on a 2-week vacation in Italy. We work for it, we get it. Now, we want another promotion.

In all this hustle from goal to goal, we rarely ever take the time to actually be grateful for the goal we achieve and we almost never take the time to appreciate the things in our lives that let us reach those goals.

Let’s slow down for 5-minutes and take full account of just how many good things are in our lives. By doing so, we can reduce stress and give our brains the space it needs to accept more joy. Because those little things in our lives that I mentioned, they aren’t little. They’re the foundation to our lives.

So, for 5 minutes every day, let’s practice gratitude. Go to a quiet place where you won’t be bothered and remind yourself of the things in your life that are good; that you enjoy. You can write them down in a gratitude journal if you find it helpful. Think about things that happened either that day or in the days prior that brought a smile to your face. Sit with those moments, those emotions. Let them fill you up for a few seconds. Then, go about your day with those thoughts and emotions in mind.

Know Your Boundaries (And Stick to Them!)

One of the hardest things I’ve found in my coaching practice that we as humans seem to struggle with is setting our boundaries in a way that makes us happy. I often see others setting boundaries that they think others will be comfortable with. Such as, “Oh, I can’t say no to drinks with Kathy on Fridays. Meeting with her every Friday indeed screws up my schedule for the weekend. But if I say no, she’ll think I don’t want to be her friend anymore. I’ll just set my boundary at not staying out until midnight.”

Your boundaries are about you, ONLY you. No one else is in the equation. When it comes to personal growth, we have to get, well, personal! Think about where your priorities lie. What are your deal breakers? These personal core values are the guiding stars to figuring out where your boundaries lie. 

And once you have them, stick to them! Don’t let people push you past your boundaries out of misplaced guilt or responsibility. These boundaries will, one, really help you with your communication skills because communicating boundaries is one of the hardest things to start doing if you’re not used to it, but they will also free up space in your mind and day to spend it on the things that fulfill you and keep you motivated.

Focus on Your Strengths, Not Your Weaknesses

We get told all the time, “Work on your weaknesses. Shore up the things you're not good at. Plug all the holes so no one can say you’re not good at something.” And so many people think that transformative personal growth is about working on the things we think we don’t do well.

This is a crock of horsesh*t.

When all we do is focus on what’s wrong with us, what we’re not good at, we neglect the things that we are good at. And newsflash, we can’t all be good at everything! It’s literally impossible.

Instead of always looking at where you need to “improve,” focus on building up and strengthening the things that are in your wheelhouse. Take classes, get a mentor, attend seminars, whatever it is as long as it’s helping you become stronger in something you are already good at. 

By focusing on our strengths, we not only build confidence within ourselves but there’s a good chance we enjoy doing those things too! It’s fine to be aware of our weaknesses and blindspots but only in so much as understanding what they are so we know how to recognize and navigate through situations that are in our blindspot.

Personal growth is something we are all doing, all the time. It’s an inevitable part of being human. But by using these tips, you can guide your personal growth in a way that helps you build a more joyful life that’s configured exactly for you.

Have a question you’d like me to answer in the next newsletter? DM me or leave your question in the comments!

Tools to Embrace Your Joy and Lead Your Life

Until Next Time,