Anti-Racism Wasn't Popular, But I Did It Anyway. Ignore the Haters!

I remember when I started doing anti-racism scholarship, writing, activism, etc... it was met with a lot of negativity, ranging from passive aggressiveness to full out vitriol. This was back in the 1990s when I first entered Dartmouth College (as one of a handful of Black students). I decided that I'd pursue geography as a discipline and investigate how heterosexism and white supremacy influenced one's sense of belonging if they are queer women of color in rural areas like in Hanover, where Dartmouth College is.

I remember when I kept on saying "lesbian" during my thesis proposal event, in which students read out what they'd like to pursue, to department professors and classmates. This one old white professor kept on cringing when I'd say "lesbian". It was obvious many, throughout my tenure there, weren't ready for me to use geography as a way to turn the lens onto an establishment that had upheld the discipline of Geography (and Anthropology) as tools of colonialism, paternalism, imperialism, and white saviorism. As a Black queer young woman, I was not supposed to be interrogating these-- I was supposed to be submissive to them! How dare I!?

But, with the support of more critical thinking professors, I killed it and ended up getting the Innovative Thesis Award for my undergrad thesis. Dr. Adrian Bailey was my professor and amazingly supportive. I was also introduced to critical food geographies by Dr. Frances Ufkes at the time, who supported me and saw something special in me. (Unbeknown to myself, I would be getting a PhD in critical food geographies, 16 years after graduating from Dartmouth College.)

Dartmouth College was a hostile environment of the 1990s, but that was to be expected. Despite the animosity from certain professors and classmates, there were those who supported me. But, undergrad was not going to be the first or last time that I'd be met with negativity when presenting my passions for racial and social justice through an anti-racist approach.

Nearly every single time I wanted to stay true to an anti-racism framing of proposed projects, job applications, or anything that I encountered or wanted to pursue, I was mostly met with anger, denial, or silence from white folk-- regardless if they were liberal or conservative identified. "We're post-racial. Obama is/was president! Racism is over! Why are we talking about this!?" , would be the usual responses (implicit or direct). I remember I got into the PhD Program at Rutgers University for Geography. After meeting with several professors on site, then returning back home, two of them emailed me (they were white men) that they basically didn't like that I was "trying to find racism in food". This had been after I spoke about Melanie Dupuis PhD's work about nutritional racism, and showed how she used cow milk as a way to breakdown how milk symbolized USA's white supremacist system. The other professor did not like how I was defining racism. Oh well, not the program for me. I think the department may have hoped that I would be a token Black PhD candidate in an overly white field, but no, I was one of those troublemakers!

Similarly, when I did my Harvard Masters thesis, it wasn't so easily accepted. I explored how covert whiteness and racism operated within liberal cyberspaces that focused on ethical consumption like veganism and vegetarianism. My inquiries in those spaces were perceived as "divisive" because I noticed that the mainstream movements believed themselves to be objective and post-racial. I realized that objectivity is impossible if an entire movement is built within the geographical space of the USA-- a nation whose very fabric of being, morality, and rationale were embedded in genocide, chattel slavery, and the creation of a white racial caste system to justify it all. Veganism is part of the US Food system, and the food system is racist (See the report Racism in the Food System here that I co-wrote). It's not like issues of supremacy would magically not touch the thought processes and actions of those who decided to embark on creating a vegan movement or pursue ethical food startups in the USA!

But, you know, when you tell me I can't do something or give me a hard time about it.... it makes me think, "Hey, I love a great challenge. Bring. It. On."

I graduated Summa Cum Laude from my Harvard Masters program in 2007 . I received the Dean's Award for my groundbreaking thesis work that unpacked the contradiction in mainstream ethical consumptions spaces that claimed to be "post-racial". I was also accepted into to 7 PhD programs with fellowships (No PhD debt for this woman!)! At around that time, I also started working on the Sistah Vegan anthology.

I could not find a publisher to take on Sistah Vegan because the mainstream ones couldn't comprehend that a racial caste system and patriarchy [even existed and] would shape the experiences of anyone's vegan practice, differently-- let alone the USA Black women that I had found to speak about these issues through essays and poetry. "Impossible! What do race and gender have to do with veganism!!?" were the predictable responses I received from the mainstream publishers I had reached out to.

But, pattrice jones of VINE, the amazing anti-racism intersectional activist and author of Aftershock, hooked me up with Lantern Publishing & Media . Though there are many white identified people who didn't want to know about alternative ways of engaging in veganism and other forms of ethical consumption beyond post-raciality during that time (well, many still don't want to), there had been enough support from anti-racism leaning white folk who did.

Sistah Vegan came out in 2010 and it was groundbreaking. I still receive messages from mostly black and brown folk who tell me that the anthology and the Sistah Vegan Project changed their trajectories. For them, finally, they found a vegan praxis that spoke to them and didn't ignore the fact that race (as well as gender and socio-economic class to name a few) center how food and consumption are lived in the USA.

Ok, so here we go.

I entered my PhD program at UC Davis in 2007. And, I continued my interrogations of critical geographies of race as one of a few Black folk there in the graduate department. I really honed in on ethical consumption sectors like veganism, animal rights, and the"green movement." I would spend a lot of time giving talks, blogging etc, during my 6 years there, traveling to different parts of the USA to fuse these topics with anti-racism and Black feminisms. Yes, many white people refused to open up to the possibility that USA is not a post-racial society and that racial caste (I was writing about this and many others too, before the book by Wilkerson would be published in 2020. Go her! Caste rocks) will and does affect everything, including the USA's ethical consumption movement and green capitalism. But, there were plenty of people-- especially folkl of color that were heartened to hear me talk about these "taboo" issues.

And while working on my PhD, I completed my novel, Scars. It took me several years to find a publisher to take the book because it was not what the mainstream wanted. My book was a fictionalized version of my Dartmouth College thesis: being a queer young woman of color in rural white space. In Scars, I also used food and consumption ideas to symbolize the stickiness and abusiveness of racial capitalism. When I was seeking a publisher, I was told that if I were writing about lesbian experiences, it had to be erotica (not my forte!). If it was about the "Black experience", it could only be about hood or gangsta life (again, not my forte. I'm an Oreo who grew up in rural white New England. LOL. I'm not going to make up what I don't know).

But, Dr. Patricia Leavy of Brill read the draft of Scars. She was floored. She asked that Brill sign me on. So, it was published in 2014 because she was able to comprehend that Black lives are not a monolith and that there need to be all different perspectives published. That book took me 8 year to write.

2013 came and I got my PhD. I couldn't find a traditional positions as a Post-Doc or tenure track professor. It's a competitive field, however, I know it didn't help that my focus was still very much on antiracism methods within food and ethical consumption studies in the USA. Despite having published 7 peer reviewed articles and two books before even graduating, I still received 200+ rejections from universities and other organizations. Yea, I was kind of annoyed, pissed, and irritated. I remember thinking for a year, "What is going on!? I supposedly did everything I was supposed to do to show that I'm a Black Unicorn (I know, I'm being funny and that's highly problematic to be told or it implied that one is a Black Unicorn)."

I kind of felt sorry for myself for awhile. Eventually, I realized that pity party should end and I will just do it my own freaking way like I always have: "I'll continue being a professional speaker and talk about Sistah Vegan, Scars, and anti-racism. I'll start my own business and rock that sh*t." And, I did.

With the help of one of my besties, Elise Aymer , we started an anti-racism DEI consulting business in 2016 called Critical Diversity Solutions. We have worked with and helped major players at for-profits and non-profits who have decided to "Take the plunge". Our clients have decided to commit to doing anti-racism at the systemic level-- not cosmetic. Initially, finding clients started off slowly; we mostly worked with vegan or animal rights orgs and it was sporadic. I imagine that our methods weren't popular 5 years ago because at the time, "Diversity" was all about "Celebrating our differences" in the USA; it remained really just within the realm of HR (vs. anti-racism being a role everyone should play and that it should be ongoing). 5 years ago when we started, most [white] leadership-- due to unconscious bias or intentional denial-- could not fathom doing diversity in a way that integrated equity, inclusion, and justice. They could not fathom shifting from, "Let's celebrate our differences and [pretend] we are all equal" to "Let's learn how our mostly white leadership's perception have been shaped by a racial caste system. What are the negative outcomes that we are responsible for that affect nonwhite employees and external communities of color?"

Though it took 2020's pandemics of COVID and globalized racism (anti-Blackness) to push organizations to make that shift, it has happened significantly with organizations shifting, reaching out to me (as a solo speaker) or to our consulting business with, "Can you please teach our leadership how to be anti-racist and question how our whiteness has [enter the negative outcomes x, y, z]?" In the summer and fall of 2020, I designed and gave a "How to Become an Anti-Racist Leader" 4 week course, hosted by Torch and moderated by Dr. Keegan Walden. It was a profound experience for most of our participants. LA Times's staff even took the course as part of their commitment to recognize their collusion with white supremacy since its inception.

So, I share this journey because often, people will ask me about my trajectory, how I did this or that, why I didn't I quit after the 17th rejection, and etc.

Life is too short for me to have regrets or listen to someone tell me that I shouldn't pursue my passions of social and racial justice (or whatever passions I have). And anyway, my mama didn't raise me that way. Nor did my dad.

When I was first confronted with things not working out the first time, as a child, my dad would remind me, "It just means 'No, not this way.' Or, 'Not now, but eventually." Well, he's right. How else can I possibly create a future of plenty if I don't have that mentality? I don't want a future of pity [for myself]. I want a future of plenty!

If you want to hear more about my journey, how I continue to create a "Future of Plenty", I invite you to the Real Food Real Stories storytelling event showcasing three awesome women of color on September 23, including me, via Zoom.

You can learn more about my writing here and my anti-racism DEI consulting here.