Apple’s breakthrough of the century at WWDC23! A Time Machine!
What do you know! At WWDC23, annual developers conference, Apple did not disappoint! The tech wizards at Apple have been brewing something very “timey-wimey” in their high-tech cauldron. Remember that rumor about Apple developing a Time Machine? Well, it’s not a rumor anymore. I’m not kidding, folks! At the WWDC23, Apple unveiled a real, bona fide Time Machine!
It instantly transports you in time! Unfortunately, this isn’t quite the H.G. Wells-inspired, gallivanting-through-time kind of device we’d been dreaming of. Instead, it’s a machine that transports you all the way back to 2013! Nostalgic, isn’t it? You can almost hear the Harlem Shake playing in the background, as we weep for our lost Flappy Bird scores and struggle to remember our MySpace passwords. But why 2013, Apple? Were you trying to remind us of a simpler time, before we all started stress-baking and became Zoom experts?
Is today April 1st? Wake me up! That a joke
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Let’s talk about the next shocker — a brand new desktop for a cool $7K! A desktop, in the age of tablets and ultra-thin laptops! Who does that? Apple, of course. If you’ve got some spare change lying around and you’re not keen on a new car or a small island, this might just be the thing for you.
Honestly, I was half-expecting it to come with a built-in barista and a golden keyboard. But hey, if we’re already time-traveling back to 2013, why not bring back the desktop while we’re at it?
A quick word to Apple, just between us: if you’re planning to use the profits from the $7K desktop to finance rapid teleportation of your factories from China, I’m all in. Just make sure it doesn’t end up taking us back to 2013!
I’m already stoked for the next WWDC. What’s next, Apple? An AI butler that sounds like Steve Jobs? A phone that doubles as a hoverboard? Only time, or should I say, the Time Machine, will tell.
That’s it for today’s juicy tech tidbits, folks. As always, keep an eye on this space for more hilarious takes on the latest in tech. Don’t forget to plug out of your Apple Time Machines, we wouldn’t want you stuck in the age of “Gangnam Style” and “Twerking”!
Until next time, keep the tech-geekery high and the Wi-Fi signal stronger! And always Keep calm and Rule the World!