The Art of Self-Sabotage: A Guide to Being Stuck in Life
Ever met those people who just can't seem to catch a break, but are also their own worst enemy? You know, the ones who moan about their lack of progress but do everything in their power to ensure they stay right where they are?
Well, we're here to celebrate the hilariously tragic lives of these unique individuals, taking inspiration from the classic comedic tune, "Why Am I Anxious?" - the greatest line in the song being "I Want to Get Better but Slow." (If you haven't seen it, watch HERE)
Join us as we explore the humorous world of self-sabotage in the non-executive director job search.
Section 1: A Healthy Diet of Anxiety
"Doctor, I'm feeling anxious all the time," says a patient, as they puff away on a cigarette, munch on their fifth donut of the day, and gulp down a venti-sized coffee. "Oh, and I haven't moved from this chair in 72 hours." Ah, the classic case of someone who claims to want mental health improvements but insists on feasting on the trifecta of anxiety-inducing habits. It's like trying to put out a fire with petrol, all while asking why it's getting hotter.
Now imagine the same approach to building your dream non-executive director portfolio....
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Section 2: The Non-Existent Non-Executive Director Job Hunt
Picture this: someone desperate for a non-executive director job, yet they've never actually applied for one. Instead, they spend their days tweeting about the injustice of it all, lamenting the unfairness of a world that won't hand them their dream job on a silver platter. They've mastered the art of networking – if, by networking, you mean complaining to their friends and family about the lack of opportunities. LinkedIn? More like LinkedOut.
Section 3: The Expert Victim: The Power of Self-Pity
Our self-sabotaging friends have one more trick up their sleeve – playing the victim. They've got a PhD in self-pity, expertly wielding their victim status like a shield against any sort of progress. They know that change is scary, so why not just stick with what they know – endless complaining and avoiding responsibility for their situation? After all, misery loves company.
It takes a special kind of talent to be so proficient at self-sabotage, and our hapless heroes have turned it into an art form. They're the living embodiment of "I want to get better but slow," masters of the self-defeating cycle, and we can't help but laugh at their tragicomic endeavours.
So, the next time you find yourself wondering why you're not making progress, remember our self-sabotaging friends and ask yourself, "Am I doing everything I can to stay right where I am?"
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1yGreat article Ian. The self pity mode is the one I often find myself in. Which then makes me anxious. I snap out of it much quicker these days.