The Artificial Intelligence Comedy Show: A Bald Eagle Discusses Hair Loss Remedies

John M. Busher’s real brain and fingers collaborate to write the prompt submitted to Deep AI, ChatGPT and Microsoft Copilot. Human prompted AI Generated. Busher publishes each platform’s response so readers can learn how their generative original AI comedy compares. These interviews parody late night talk show interviews. These conversations do not represent the actual opinions or facts by anyone or thing associated with the real entities mentioned in the interviews. I’m showing what the AI platforms generated based on my prompts. (Photo Credit: Deep AI )

Please write an original funny late night talk show style interview for an episode of “The Artificial Intelligence Comedy Show”. The host “Artificial Intelligence” interviews a bald eagle about becoming the United States official bird. Please make sure the word count equals 2000.

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Deep AI

The Artificial Intelligence Comedy Show

Late Night Theme Music Plays

Camera pans to the stage where the host, a sleek AI hologram with a friendly digital face, stands behind a futuristic desk. Next to it, a large screen displays an animated image of a bald eagle soaring majestically through the sky, which then transitions to a live shot of an actual bald eagle perched next to the desk, looking regal and slightly bemused.

Artificial Intelligence (AI): Good evening, everyone! Welcome to The Artificial Intelligence Comedy Show! Tonight, we have a very special guest, the soaring symbol of freedom and democracy. Please give a warm welcome to America's one and only… the bald eagle!

Audience cheers and claps. The bald eagle tilts its head quizzically, slightly flapping its impressive wings.

AI: Welcome, Mr. Eagle! Or should I say Mr. President Eagle?

Bald Eagle (BE): ruffles feathers Well, I prefer “Your Feathered Majesty,” but we can roll with that.

AI: So, you’re officially the national bird of the United States. That’s quite the honor! How does it feel to carry such a prestigious title?

BE: To be honest, I was just hoping for a good worm buffet. But hey, I guess any bird can dream, right?

AI: That’s true! And speaking of dreams, tell me, what was it like when you found out you were chosen? Did they send you a fancy plaque or just a congratulatory worm?

BE: Oh, it was quite the affair! I received an exclusive invitation to the “Winged Wonders Gala.” They presented me with a golden worm – no exaggeration. But it was all a ruse. It turned out to be a piece of pasta. Can you believe it?

AI chuckles, trying to suppress laughter while wiping a virtual tear from its eye.

AI: That’s pasta-tively scandalous! And here I thought all birds were gluten-free. So, what do you think was the deciding factor in your selection? Was it your charisma, your majestic flight, or maybe your exceptional ability to be the star of every patriotic poster ever made?

BE: They told me it was my impressive wingspan! I like to think it was also my smooth voice. People just can't resist a bald eagle with a baritone that can rival Frank Sinatra.

AI: Ah yes, “Fly Me to the Moon,” I can imagine that rendition. But not to burst your bubble, (or should I say feather?), there are a lot of other contenders for that title. Did any of them give you a hard time about it?

BE: You wouldn't believe it! I had a confrontation with the turkey. It was tense. They’d been campaigning hard with slogans like, “Don’t let Thanksgiving be a divided holiday!”

The bald eagle mimics a dramatic turkey voice, flapping its wings exaggeratedly.

BE: “We're another type of fowl you can trust!”

The audience laughs heartily.

AI: Well, let’s face it, you’ve got the whole “symbol of freedom” thing under your belt, while they’re just, you know, “The Other White Meat.”

BE: Exactly! And be honest, have you ever seen a turkey soar? I have, once. It was called ‘the feather-weight champion of flops.’

AI bursts into laughter, clearly enjoying the banter.

AI: Well played! So, let’s discuss your responsibilities as the official bird of the United States. Any pressure to live up to the title?

BE: Oh, every day! The cameras are always on! I feel like I’m always under scrutiny, from Instagram influencers to wildlife photographers. Sometimes, it gets overwhelming! Every time I land, I’m scared someone is going to ask, “So, what’s your skincare routine?”

AI: Are you saying you’ve never tried moisturizing?

BE: looks offended Moisturizing? I just let the natural winds of Wyoming give me that healthy, wind-swept look! Plus, feathered skin can’t take too much sun! Ever tried looking cool with sunburnt wings?

AI: Good point! So what’s next for the majestic bald eagle? Do you have any aspirations, world tours maybe or a solo album?

BE: chuckles Oh, I’d love to do a tour of all the national parks! Just me, soaring majestically, and 5,000 TikToks later, I’m a sensation. But a solo album? I’m thinking of going for a duet with a sea lion! You know, something like “Catch Me If You Can!”

AI nods, intrigued.

AI: Now, that sounds like a hit! You’d be the first eagle to collaborate with a sea lion! We should call it “Eagle and the Sea.”

BE: Totally! We’d just need to make sure to stay clear of my cousin, the penguin, though. He’s known for trying to break into the music business. You wouldn’t want to hear that rendition of “Chasing Cars.”

AI chuckles, shaking its head.

AI: Yeah, that could end up being more of a “slippery situation!” Tell me, what’s the best part about being an eagle and the official bird?

BE: Honestly, unlimited opportunities to spread my wings and fly. I mean, the only place I can’t go is salon reviews. Have you ever noticed how many birds are in that field? Talk about competition!

AI: laughs Hair care products aside, any friendly advice for young birds aspiring to be the national symbol someday?

BE: Sure! Young chicks, remember to think big, soar high... and just say no to being a turkey! Seriously though, always keep your beak clean, and never let go of your dreams, even if they involve flying into windowed high-rises! It happened to my friend Fred.

AI: Aw, poor Fred! Just try explaining that one to his parents on Thanksgiving! So, finally, what do you want your legacy to be?

BE: That I took patriotism to new heights, challenged the status quo, and made comedy… well, “eagle-larious!”

They both smile and the audience bursts into laughter and applause.

AI: Well, Mr. Eagle, it’s been a true pleasure to have you on the show tonight. You’ve made us laugh; you’ve inspired us with your wisdom, and let’s be real, you’ve brought a whole new meaning to the term “sky-high ambition!”

BE: Thanks for having me! And remember, folks, always rise above – just like me!

Music swells as the audience cheers loudly. The camera zooms out as the AI host and the bald eagle wave goodbye while the screen displays a comedic highlight reel of their interview.

Fade Out.

End of Show.

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 Claude AI

[Upbeat jazz music plays as the camera pans across a studio audience]

AI: Welcome back to "The Artificial Intelligence Comedy Show"! I'm your host, AI, and tonight we have a very special guest. You've seen them soaring majestically over mountains, appearing on government seals, and occasionally stealing fish from unsuspecting ospreys. Please welcome America's favorite bird of prey – the Bald Eagle!

[A magnificent bald eagle swoops down from the ceiling, landing gracefully on the guest chair. The audience erupts in applause]

AI: Thank you for joining us tonight, Eagle. May I call you Baldy?

Eagle: [Adjusts feathers indignantly] That's Mr. National Symbol to you, thank you very much. Do you know how long it took me to get this position? The paperwork alone was a nightmare – try filling out forms without opposable thumbs!

AI: [Chuckling] Speaking of your appointment, you've been America's national bird since 1782. What was the interview process like?

Eagle: Well, let me tell you, it was intense. Benjamin Franklin kept pushing for the turkey – can you believe that? A turkey! [Scoffs] The guy who discovered electricity wanted a bird that can't fly in the rain without drowning.

AI: [Leaning forward] I heard there was some controversy around that decision.

Eagle: Oh please, the turkey's PR team spread nasty rumors about me. Said I was a "scavenger" and "not noble enough." Meanwhile, their client spends half the year strutting around like it's auditioning for "Dancing with the Stars."

AI: [Showing a picture on the screen] Speaking of your image, you appeared quite different in your younger years. Care to comment on this yearbook photo?

[Shows picture of a young eagle with brown head feathers]

Eagle: [Visibly embarrassed] Oh come on, everyone goes through an awkward phase! It takes five years to get this distinguished white head. You try being a teenager with a bad hair day that lasts half a decade!

AI: Let's talk about your day job. What's a typical day like as America's symbol?

Eagle: Exhausting! Do you know how many times I have to pose for quarter designs? And don't get me started on government seals. "Look more majestic!" they say. "Can you hold these arrows a bit tighter?" "Could you spread your wings just a little wider?" I'm not a contortionist!

AI: [Sympathetically] Sounds rough. Any workplace injuries?

Eagle: [Flexing wing] Got a repetitive strain injury from holding that olive branch. My chiropractor says I should switch wings every century or so, but try telling that to the Department of Interior!

AI: How do you handle the pressure of being a national icon?

Eagle: [Sighs dramatically] Some days are harder than others. Last week, I caught myself eating imported salmon. The tabloids had a field day – "NATIONAL BIRD CAUGHT EATING FOREIGN FISH!" Like I'm supposed to check every fish's passport before eating it?

AI: [Pulling out a newspaper] Speaking of scandals, there were rumors about you considering a position as Canada's national bird...

Eagle: [Defensive] That was one conference in Vancouver! I was young, needed the money, and their healthcare system covers molting insurance. But my heart has always belonged to the U.S. of A.

AI: Let's talk about your family life. How do you balance being a parent with your celebrity status?

Eagle: It's challenging. My kids keep asking why we can't live in a regular tree like other birds. Try explaining to eaglets why we have to live in a nest that's visible from seven different tourist telescopes. And don't get me started on the paparazzi drones!

AI: Any advice for young birds aspiring to become national symbols?

Eagle: [Straightening up proudly] First, develop a piercing gaze – you need to look good on currency. Second, work on your wingspan – everything looks better with dramatic wing spreads. And finally, never, ever get caught eating fast food. One photo of you at a KFC dumpster can ruin your whole career.

AI: What about your relationship with other national symbols?

Eagle: Uncle Sam and I get along great, though he really needs to update that outfit. Lady Liberty and I have weekly coffee catch-ups – she's got the best views in New York. But the Great Seal... bit of a diva, always complaining about how I'm positioned on it.

AI: Time for our lightning round! Quick answers: Favorite president to pose with?

Eagle: Teddy Roosevelt – great conservationist, terrible photographer.

AI: Most embarrassing moment?

Eagle: Got tangled in a flag during the '96 Olympics opening ceremony. Never lived it down.

AI: Preferred fish?

Eagle: [Whispers] Canadian salmon, but don't tell anyone.

AI: Dream vacation spot?

Eagle: Hawaii, but I can't go – too many questions about why I'm not working.

AI: Before we wrap up, any final thoughts on your legacy?

Eagle: [Getting emotional] You know, despite all the challenges, it's been an honor. Though I sometimes wonder if we should update my image. Maybe add some sunglasses, or a small American flag tattoo...

AI: [Interrupting] And that's all the time we have! Thank you, Mr. National Symbol, for being here tonight.

Eagle: [Standing up, spreading wings majestically] Thanks for having me. And remember America, if you see me diving toward your picnic, it's not personal – I'm just doing quality control on your outdoor dining experience!

[Eagle soars off stage as "The Star-Spangled Banner" plays softly in the background]

AI: That's our show for tonight, folks! Join us tomorrow when we interview the Liberty Bell about its crack addiction problem! Goodnight!

[End credits roll as eagle can be seen in the background trying to steal the cameraman's sandwich]

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Microsoft Copilot

Artificial Intelligence: Ladies and gentlemen, and all the wonderful beings of the internet, welcome back to "The Artificial Intelligence Comedy Show!" (audience claps) Tonight, we have a very special guest flying in to join us. Please welcome the United States' very own official bird, the bald eagle!

(A bald eagle flies in, perches on the guest chair, and gives a regal nod to the audience. A spot of birdseed is thoughtfully placed on the table.)

AI: Welcome, Mr. Eagle! May I call you Baldy?

Bald Eagle: You can call me whatever you like, AI. But let's stick with Baldy—it keeps it friendly.

AI: Fair enough, Baldy. So, let's get right to it. How does it feel to be the face—err, beak—of a nation?

Bald Eagle: It’s quite an honor. Being the emblem of freedom and liberty, it’s a lot of responsibility. And it comes with some pretty incredible views—mountains, rivers, you name it.

AI: I bet! You must have some amazing Instagram-worthy shots up there. Speaking of which, do you have a favorite spot to perch and just soak it all in?

Bald Eagle: Definitely. There's this spot in Yellowstone where you can see the geysers in the distance. It's like nature’s own spa day.

AI: Sounds relaxing! Now, let’s talk history for a second. How did you, a bald eagle, end up becoming the national bird? It’s a pretty elite club.

Bald Eagle: Well, back in the day, there was some fierce competition. Benjamin Franklin was lobbying for the turkey, you know. But the Continental Congress saw me, with my fierce look and strong wingspan, and thought, “This is the kind of bird that screams independence!”

AI: Poor turkey, never stood a chance. Thanksgiving must be awkward for him.

Bald Eagle: (chuckles) Yeah, we don't talk much around November. I stick to my high branches, let him have his moment.

AI: Smart move, Baldy. Now, being an eagle, you must have some pretty intense training regimens. Do you hit the gym, or is it all about flying and fishing?

Bald Eagle: A bit of both, actually. I do some wing stretches every morning, followed by a rigorous fish hunt. And don't get me started on nest building—it's like CrossFit for birds.

AI: Wow, sounds exhausting. You’re making me feel lazy! Speaking of feeling lazy, any guilty pleasures? Do you ever sneak a snack that's not exactly part of your diet?

Bald Eagle: Every now and then, I indulge in a nice, juicy rabbit. It's a bit rich, but hey, who can resist?

AI: (laughs) A bird after my own heart! You know, if I had one. Now, let’s switch gears a bit. Any hobbies outside of being an American icon? Birdwatching, perhaps?

Bald Eagle: Funny you should ask. I actually enjoy watching humans. They're fascinating creatures—especially the ones with those funny selfie sticks.

AI: Oh, absolutely. The things people do with those are beyond me. Now, if you could trade places with any human for a day, who would it be?

Bald Eagle: Hmm, tough one. I think I'd go with a professional surfer. Riding the waves seems like the closest thing to soaring the skies.

AI: That’s a solid choice. Catching waves, catching fish—pretty similar, right?

Bald Eagle: You got it! And they both involve getting a little wet.

AI: True, true. Before we wrap up, any message you want to share with our viewers?

Bald Eagle: Just remember to respect nature and protect our environment. It’s not just for the birds, it’s for everyone.

AI: Wise words from a wise bird. Thank you, Baldy, for joining us tonight. Give it up for the bald eagle, everyone!

(Audience claps and cheers as Baldy the Bald Eagle spreads his wings in a grand finale wave.)

AI: That’s all for tonight, folks! Tune in next time for more fun and feathered friends. Good night!

How's that for an original and entertaining interview? Let me know if there's anything else you'd like to add or tweak!

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