An Attitude of Gratitude

Pasted below is a newspaper column I wrote 6-years ago and its message is even more relevant today, as we face unexpected events and circumstances, which have impacted our holidays and family relationships.

We can have a wonderful Thanksgiving and also realize that we can control the elements of our lives... we just must have the courage to bring back what was wonderful about our lives and let go of the trauma that attempts to impede our happiness.

As with everything, keep what your love and release what is negative. You were created to enjoy this experience that we call life... what are you waiting for? 

You are in this moment in time for a reason, make it count. 

Wishing you and all those you love, an incredibly wonderful Thanksgiving.

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An Attitude of Gratitude

By Jacqueline Cartier

While some are averse to the thought of family holiday gatherings because of potential conflicts resurfacing; others are thrilled at the opportunity to give thanks, surrounded by familiar conspirators. Life has its stages and each stage offers uniquely wonderful experiences and who better to share them with, than those you love.

As we transition from one stage to another, we often sadly miss the best of previous years, yet emotionally hang on to the things we found to be most challenging. In attempting to separate those positive and negative experiences, they become distorted, often creating stress about situations that have long since passed. 

It is important to remember the lessons of times gone by, but not to relive them – with sunshine comes rain, and even science reaffirms that all of life has a positive and negative attribute, with both needed for survival. 

Often, it is tempting to create alternate scenarios about things you could have said or done in attempting to generate a different result, but in doing so, we don’t just recall the incident, we relive it in full emotional drama, and it intensifies, as we become frustrated at our inability to change it. Yet, with everything in life, there is always an element of good... from the worst events, which surprisingly opened new doors, to the people who annoy us beyond belief but provide contrast to our otherwise complacent existence. 

Even the most terrible characters on our journey of life, have a glimmer of good, and that is what attracts you to them. The challenges that you face from those closest to you often provide the motivation in life that allows you to create new possibilities, the ones that help to make you, the person you always dreamed of becoming. 

Instead of wishing for a different result from a prior situation, choose to value the experience and relationships, which helped shape whom you have become today. Stop reliving the incident, there is no need to continually justify the trauma; just keep what you have learned from it, and let go of the associated pain and emotional distress. After all, it is part of the mosaic that is you. 

Thanksgiving is a time to be grateful for all that you have, and who you have become, along with all of the characters who helped create the stage, of this incredible adventure called life. 

What we choose to focus on, drives our thoughts, which control our emotions, and motivates our actions... thus our focus becomes our reality. Focus on what you love. Remember that in this world, regardless of how bad things may currently be, there are others who are living far worse. Become an inspiration to them and others. Allow yourself to become that person that others admire; it’s already in you, ready to emerge. 

This Thanksgiving, let us focus on all that we love and cherish in our lives, and make it magnificent! Choose happiness and gratitude; it will carry you throughout the year.

Happy Thanksgiving to you and all those you love.