Authenticity and Trust

Do You Trust Me?

Four simple words.

And yet, that's the exact question asked every time:

• A rep sends a proposal to a brand new potential client
• Leaders ask a direct report to take on a stretch goal
• A candidate applies for a job that would be a big leap
• Someone posts business insight on LinkedIn or X (formerly Twitter)

When we put ourselves out there in the real world, we are asking other people to take a leap of faith - to move outside of their comfort zone.

This is especially true if those people have not engaged with us in the past.

Fast Connections

Expert growth professionals aim to build authentic rapport with potential buyers quickly. They like helping people solve big problems and it shows. When the conversation is open and bi-directional, it’s much easier to land on a decisive outcome.

Following this approach helps both parties establish a shared understanding of measurable outcomes. And on the flipside, this process aids in identifying blockers that might get in the way. 

While it may seem counterintuitive - if a growth professional is doing their job, they always leave the door open for the prospect to say “no”. Sometimes an early “no” results in a “yes” down the road. Why? Because the buyer is comfortable with the seller due to this act of authenticity. Not everyone conducts business this way.

The faster that trust is established, and a real human connection is made, the easier it is to reach an expected outcome. And if all goes well, growth professionals will get the green light and ask buyers to exchange value for a product or service that will help buyers personally gain something in return. 

Trust Journey

As one of my trusted advisors Todd Caponi , author of “The Transparency Sale”  and “Transparent Sales Leader” reminds us: while this may be the end of the sales cycle, it's really just the first phase of a long trust journey where we are continuously helping others along the way.

Helping others is a very personal activity at the core of what it means to be human. But recurring revenue only comes from recurring value, and a promise of continued trust.

Perhaps the buyer is aiming for a promotion. Maybe they would like to gain the public admiration of their peers. Or even more likely: a person is checking the box next to only one of the 500+ things they are trying to accomplish during the current year.

Quite possibly, it's all three of these things.

Whatever the personal gain might be, that stakeholder or group of stakeholders earn and retain the trust of their companies by delivering on their personal promises. Bonus trust badge unlocked if they delivered on time, under budget, at high quality, and without burning anyone out in the process.

In other words, what feels like "just another sales cycle between two businesses" is actually more of a human trust bond than you might recognize. 

The Trust Trio

I believe any trust journey starts with a single key step: authenticity.

Like oil and water, people are almost universally repulsed by someone that is misrepresenting themselves. And once you are placed in that low trust bucket, it's incredibly tough to climb back up the steep sides.

Authenticity is backed up by empathy and transparency in this trust trio. Those three are like jazz when they are working well together: everybody wants to listen and nobody wants to leave the show.

And I'm not alone in this thinking around trust.

As Frances Frei and Anne Morriss wisely state in the Harvard Business Review article "Begin with Trust" published in May 2020:

"We think of trust as precious, and yet it’s the basis for almost everything we do as civilized people."

Quite right, HBR team. The two authors go on to explain that trust is based on the three "core drivers" of authenticity, logic, and empathy. They go so far as to call this the "trust triangle", complete with its own fancy graphic.

These are a great start. And from a leadership coaching perspective it makes a ton of sense to play the triangle.

I think it goes even deeper than these three principles when it comes to growth.

Thinking Machines That Feel

Yes, logic is important. Business professionals like to portray themselves as logical creatures that feel on occasion. However, deep down we all know that just isn’t so. The positive lift we receive from making a well-considered decision is an emotional lift, not a logical one.

As António R. Damásio famously said in “Descartes’ Error”:

“We are not thinking machines that feel, we are feeling machines that think”

Clearly we won't be invited to sit down at the trust table to continue the more logical conversation if we aren't carrying ourselves with a sense of authenticity. Even if the key message being delivered by a growth professional resonates with an audience or buying group, it becomes devalued or diluted when the person misrepresents themselves. Ask a politician.

Activating Authenticity

Authenticity is where the real work takes place in order to establish trust early and often. Not only for personal growth, but for those in your orbit that are directly impacted by your decisions and words. Choose them wisely.

And this idea is catching on.

There are a number of leadership programs that help participants break down the walls we have historically put up as armor to protect the status quo. Graduates of these programs are now taking advantage of thoughtful approaches and positive habits to activate self-awareness of their own authentic selves. 

And while the idea has been around for some time, and offered globally for decades through leadership programs offered by organizations like the Center for Creative Leadership, companies are finally starting to wake up to the benefits of authenticity. Benefits that are seen within the four walls of the organization extend into our daily lives.

One of the advisors on my own journey over the years Erin Coupe , offers an entire cohort-based program called "Authentically You" that focuses on this entire line of thinking. Many have completed the program, in cohorts big and small. Those attendees continue to do the good and impactful work that allows them to be authentic humans in their professional and personal lives. 

Do You Still Trust Me?

I’d like to think so. We’ve made it this far together! 

I mentioned earlier that the trust process can be a challenging journey. Why?

Because trust is never a straight line. It will be tested.

There are forks in the road, backtracking to known waypoints to recover from a misstep, recovering from rockslides, retreating from a swarm of flying earwigs on the peak of Mt. Diablo, California (a real thing, ask my wife). You get the picture.

When trust is tested, lean on the core principles that drive you before making any rash decisions. When your actions, words, and promises are guided from an authentic place, there is no wrong answer.

And while authenticity is the starting point, empathy and transparency are essential. More to come on the other members of the trust jazz trio.

Go forth and be authentic. You won’t regret it.

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Thank you for reading. This is part one of a three part series on trust.

It is loosely inspired by the "Begin with Trust" leadership article published by Harvard Business Review back in May 2020. This article was fantastic, and written by the authors Frances X. Frei and Anne Morriss.

More importantly, I take direct inspiration from my own professional and personal experience with trust. Especially in the context of conducting growth activities with clients, and in empowering others to grow their careers.

Got your own thoughts on trust, especially related to business growth? Let me know!