Avoid Judgment and Criticism

Judging and criticizing others carries a toll, creates unwanted stress, and drives a toxic work environment. Being judgmental and criticizing others brings instant negativity to any situation. Projecting that you are in some way better than others is misguided. Making others feel small or insignificant helps no one. We constantly pounce when someone makes a mistake. We revel in the fact that we can correct them immediately. We don't think. Through our words and actions, we appear to love to judge others. What they say, what they wear, who they are. We look for things to judge. It's like being the bully in the school yard. It's time to change the way we treat each other. Stop judging others. Or how about this, when you reach perfection, then you can judge others?!?

Having empathy for others or being empathetic to specific situation takes effort. You must be open to listening and learning about someone other than yourself. You need to respect their feelings without trying to change how they feel or mold them towards your way of thinking. Supporting someone in a time of need shows great empathy. Being authentic and genuinely being concerned and wanting to help is how we must act to create positive change.

Unfortunately, we see all too often the constant judgment, criticism, and bias that takes place when someone fails to attain their objective or falls short of expectations. We are a society that is quick to judge, making others feel less than or insignificant. We tend to feel superior and share those views as often as possible, especially when someone else is down. Think back to the last time you past judgment on a co-worker, a subordinate, or a friend. What made you call them out? Was it justified? Was it necessary? Maybe next time, have a private conversation to discuss your thoughts and check in on how they are feeling, what support they might benefit from, and how you can help?

How about the last time you were judged or criticized? Maybe a time when your manager called out your mistake in front of an entire group? How did that make you feel? How did you respond? Was it justified? Was there a better way to handle that communication? Of course there was. I'm all for course correction when someone is not performing or meeting expectations, however, a conversation around their goals, needs and challenges to better understand why versus criticism or condemnation of inferiority.

How can we improve our communication skills, become more professional in what we say, and more thoughtful in how we say things?

First, we need more awareness around enhanced communication, empathy, and higher emotional intelligence. Understanding how others communicate through the use of neuro-linguistic programming (NLP) is a great way as it's all about the art and science of communication. NLP shows that people like people who are like themselves. Communicate in 'their' language and they will hear what you are saying. Developing your actions and knowledge around emotional intelligence will provide you with that necessary empathy and allow you to reflect versus react when communicating.

Next, stop being so quick to judge and use the Start, Stop, Continue tips below. Your superiority complex is misguided. You make mistakes as much, or maybe even more, then the person you're judging. We all make mistakes. We strive not to repeat our past mistakes. We all learn from our mistakes. Before you comment, think. Think how your words will impact the other person. Will those words inspire and enable the other party, or simply condemn them and demotivate them from moving forward with a positive mindset? People are so hypocritical. It's time for change.

Start:

1. Treating others with respect.
2. Genuinely being concerned.
3. Listening proactively.
4. Communicating more effectively and professionally.
5. Practicing high emotional intelligence.
6. Being more aware of how your words and actions impact others.

Stop:

1. Judging others without knowing all the data.
2. Criticizing others for making a mistake.
3. Showing biases.
4. Embracing favoritism.
5. Being superior.
6. Condemning others.

Continue:

1. Providing empathy towards others.
2. Being compassionate.
3. Building your knowledge around NLP and emotional intelligence.
4. Treating others how they want to be treated.
5. Following through on your commitments and promises.
6. Lifting others up and supporting them.

Lastly, become a servant leader. A leader that believes in the development of your team, peers and leadership. You work hard to get others recognition and promotion. You bring a positive mental attitude to each day. Create a TGIM! Attitude, Thank God It's Monday Attitude, which means each new week brings new opportunities, new relationships, new beginnings. You bring that 'do whatever it takes' mindset, you are present, you continually learn, you develop others, you support others, you do what is right and fair. You believe that your best days are ahead of you, you lift others higher, you engage daily. Being a servant leader brings out the best in you and those around you.

Kindness matters. Change is needed. We must look at how communicate, both personally and professionally, and improve. We need to listen more effectively. We must stop judging everyone and everything. We can use constructive criticism or coaching techniques to help someone grow, learn or adjust their behavior, however, we must stop defaulting to criticism as the norm.

Mark Krajnik, LSSGB, CPC, (The Culture Coach) is the CEO at Performance Mindset Associates (PMA). Mark is a tenured Talent Strategist and experienced people leader, and offers fractional chief people officer services. He is an Executive Talent Leader in recruitment operations, executive search, talent acquisition, L&D, culture coaching, human capital consulting, change management, and talent management. He is very passionate about people, building high-performance teams, creating retention-focused cultures, and career development. He brings a focus on performance, execution, creative problem solving, and goal achievement. Please go to performancemindset.co for more information or send an email to info@performancemindset.co.