Avoidance Of Reset

Ready to give up?

Even if quitting is an option, what happens next?

What about all of the time, energy, and resources already invested?

The loudest voices tell us that failure is not option. Instead, just:

Be grittier.

Stick it out.

Dig deeper.

Never give up.

When a process that leaves us falling short of our desired outcome, identifying the problem - or at least getting clear that there is a problem - is typically not difficult.

Far more nuanced is a different kind of shortfall. Here, the process could imply movement, maybe even some success. At least from the outside looking in.

But from the inside looking out, something feels misaligned.

When our identity and sense of being are attached to a conflicted process, we encounter a resistance that limits exploration, play, making mistakes, and starting again.

Covering up the essentials of creativity, innovation, and uncertainty cover up the real cost of not quitting.

To try something new, different, or seemingly impossible not only asks us to extend ourselves towards discomfort, it prompts us make peace with what previously kept us comfortable and safe...

Which opens a clear path to a meaningful reset. 

3 Questions

1) If I repeat my current process for the next three years, will I be closer to the results l seek? Or further away?

2) What are the signals that I should be looking for that convey trying something new or different?

3) The Jerry Colona Question: How am I complicit in creating the conditions that I say I do not want?

5 Resources

(No affiliate links!)

Quit: Quit is a word that is often associated with guilt or shame. Annie Duke's new book is an outstanding and much-needed reframe about how to think about quitting. You will read fascinating research and great stories, including personal anecdotes from the author who was a world champion poker player. Find the book --> HERE  

Reboot: Leadership And The Art Of Growing Up: Since I referenced the Jerry Colona question, here is Jerry's outstanding book that brought this powerful question to so many people around the world. It is one of my favorites and Jerry has been a kind mentor to me. Find the book --> HERE

The Difference Between Tolerating Pain, Suffering, And Performance: Steve Magness, the author of Do Hard Things, a book I've previously shared in this space, wrote an article about the consequences of not quitting and failing to reset. Read the article --> HERE

A Profession Is Not A Personality: From Albert Brooks' How To Build A Life series in The Atlantic, this article investigates the risks of attaching our identity to work. Read the article --> HERE (H/T to Sunday Morning Joe reader, Sarah Johnston.)

Essentialism: Greg McKeown's best selling book is an excellent and thought-provoking read about removing what is not essential. I've read and reread it several times. Find the book --> HERE (H/T to Sunday Morning Joe reader, Randy Jackson.)

What To Reset

Along the way of these Sunday morning writings over the past eight years, the diversity of readers and follow-up conversations have brought immense joy to me.

But relative to today's topic, I never narrowed the focus of the readers here in a way that asked, "Who is this for?" This makes it difficult for me to answer the same question when I write.

No matter the frequency nor format of future writing, it is time to narrow this focus in way that allows you to consider if future articles are right for you.

So, here's the first step... two very open-ended questions to help guide what is coming next...

What does it mean to fully engage with the second half of life?

What are the obstacles that get in our way of full engaging with the second half of life?

There's a lot to unpack here - and that's the idea. In addition to my Sunday morning writing, I look forward to aligning my engagement here on LinkedIn with this theme.

If this topic is not for you, I completely understand and am grateful for your willingness to come this far with me.

However, if you're still here...

Ten years ago, at 43 years-old, I was on a disastrous course for shifting from the first half of life towards the second. I was in a job where negativity vastly overshadowed positivity. My health was a mess as I carried 50 pounds more in body weight than I do today. My then daily routine was built on stress and poor habits. And as much I wanted to change, my solution thought-loop was limited to ideas of "silver bullets" and other people's definition of success.

A continuation of this path would not have been pretty. It most likely would have led to a more sedentary way of life, encumbered with friction, and lots of hinging on past accomplishments.

Instead, the journey into the second half took a much different route than I ever could have imagined 10 years ago.

Today, a landscape of "simple, slower, and less" emerges around my life at home in Catalunya. A daily practice expands my capacity to deeply connect, create, and move. My coaching work fosters one-to-one collaborations with amazing men and women from all over the world pursuing a stronger alignment of values and skills to their personal and professional development. 

Out of this forms an interesting lens of curiosity through which to explore, challenge, and discover our capabilities in the second half of life. This opens a dialog and a source of reflection in which you can distill ideas and opportunities to support and strengthen your pursuits and next chapter. On your own terms. At your own pace.

More to come in 2023.

Bones festes des de Catalunya!

With gratitude,

-Joe 

PS - As 2022 draws to a close, launching my book, Slalom: 6 River Classes About How To Confront Obstacles, Advance Amid Uncertainty, & Bring Focus To What Matters Most, was certainly among my personal highlights of the past year. While I imagined writing a book at some point, I never imagined launching without a some kind of United States-based book tour that facilitated in-person connection. While I hope that will change in the future, I encourage you to read Slalom via Amazon. The response continues to be amazing and humbling - thank you to so many of you who purchased, read, re-read, and shared Slalom!