Avoidant Behaviour: Are You Pretending to Take Control of Your Finances?
Are your finances working for you—or are they controlling you? It’s a question I ask every client before a property purchase, and it can make all the difference. A few weeks ago, I sat down with one of my clients, Bianca, as she was planning for a home loan and getting ready to purchase a new property. She had all her papers neatly organised, a budget spreadsheet on her laptop, and felt like she had everything under control. But as we dug deeper, something interesting started to emerge. While Bianca had the tools—her budget, savings plan, and even a clear idea of her next property—she was falling into a common trap: financial avoidance.
Now, I’m not an advocate for avoidant behaviour, but I totally understand that life happens. Sometimes, it’s easier to avoid uncomfortable financial truths, especially when you’re juggling work and personal life. But avoiding reality, particularly when you’re about to buy a property, can create bigger challenges down the line.
Shift to Proactive Behaviors
One way to break out of financial avoidance is to focus on “do” behaviours rather than “don’t” behaviors. It’s easier to measure progress when you take proactive steps rather than avoid vague actions. For example, instead of thinking, “I need to stop overspending,” try, “I’m going to save a set amount each week.” These small wins are motivating and easy to track.
In Bianca’s case, we shifted from avoidance to action. Instead of worrying about what she shouldn’t spend, she focused on reviewing her bank statements weekly, automating payments for key expenses, and setting specific savings goals. This gave her a sense of control and real progress.
Emergency Reserves: The Key to Flexibility
It’s tempting to set ambitious goals, but that can sometimes backfire. Life happens—plans get disrupted. That’s why it’s essential to build in flexibility, or what I call “emergency reserves.” Missing a savings target one week doesn’t mean your entire financial plan is ruined. Give yourself room to make mistakes without losing sight of your long-term goals.
Bianca embraced this by allowing herself flexibility for those inevitable slip-ups. Instead of feeling defeated when things didn’t go perfectly, she could reset and continue moving forward, which made her plan more sustainable.
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Stay in Control of Your Financial Future
One of the keys to financial success is making sure that your circumstances aren’t making decisions for you. Shane Parrish said it best: “People who consistently get better results are rarely in a position where their circumstances are thinking for them.” The goal is to always be in a position where you have good options, so you’re never forced to make decisions from a place of scarcity or desperation.
When it comes to buying a property, you want to be in a place where almost any decision is a net positive. This means being prepared—financially, mentally, and emotionally—so you’re not backed into a corner where selling your house or making drastic financial moves is your only option. By building in flexibility and staying on top of your finances, you can ensure that you have the upper hand in your decision-making process.
Why This Matters for Any Property Purchase
When you’re planning to buy a property, avoidant behavior can be costly. It’s not just about what lenders want to see; it’s about making sure you’re not overstretching yourself and that you’re truly ready for the responsibility of buying a home. Being proactive and staying flexible will help you navigate the process with confidence.
Steps You Can Take Today
By focusing on proactive behaviours and allowing for flexibility, you’ll stay in control—building the financial future you want, one step at a time.
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