Awakening to a Life of Purpose

The past year has been challenging for everyone. There’s no doubt that many have endured a feeling of helplessness, powerlessness and downright frustration as we try to navigate so much unknown.

While we can acknowledge some of the negativity that we’ve felt from this, we must also recognize the ways in which our inner strength, grit, and adaptability have been keenly developed. I believe, even through all the bad, that we’ve exposed true potential in each of us that may have otherwise gone unrecognized – the type of potential that grows out of adversity and endures forever.

I connect with this idea deeply. It’s, in many ways, the story of my life. Like many, my childhood was riddled with difficulty, from divorce to poverty and food insecurity (ketchup sandwiches were a staple in my home), it’s safe to say I come from “humble beginnings”. Nonetheless, I had wonderful parents and a strong family, doing the best they could with what they had. 

Some of my favorite memories growing up were with my grandfather. He used to pick me up, sit me on the bathroom counter and tell me stories as he brushed his dentures. He would tell stories of a young girl lost in the woods using her God-given talents to persevere – to survive. In others, he simply imparted wisdom and instilled me with confidence. He reminded me of who I was: strong, bold, courageous, capable. He would often remind me, “Carle, you have to work hard. Do all things with excellence – do a job well.” Those words stuck with me, for many reasons.

At the time and through my early 20’s, I was scared and insecure. I didn’t feel gifted or truly good at anything. I felt, as many do, that everyone else had it figured out. They seemed to have direction and purpose – but not me.

I was the first in my family to graduate college. I worked full-time on top of my studies to support myself. I developed a lot of self-discipline during this time and found myself relying on my grandfather’s wisdom and encouragement. After college, I started to really think about finding my purpose in life and the potential I had to attain it. The idea of not discovering or achieving my personal calling really weighed on me. That fear pushed me to set high expectations of myself at my first “real” job. Now, looking back on those times, and reflecting on my career thus far, I know this for sure: if you work hard, focus on excellence and put the interest of others before your own – opportunity always knocks.

Having people to help shape you and guide you in life gives you both confidence and insight into opportunities. I’ve been fortunate to have some great leaders and mentors over the years that have helped me on my journey. I once had a mentor that defined finding purpose as a journey, not a destination. It’s not something to work for, it’s something to work towards. I believe that each of us were created on purpose with purpose, but so often it’s that fear, insecurity and doubt that sets us back. A few years ago, my boss asked me very directly: “What’s holding you back”? I was a bit perplexed and caught off guard. It took me awhile to process what she was really getting at. She saw in me what I didn’t necessarily see in myself: the capacity and ability to expand beyond my role, the ability to lead people to success.

As I thought about this question she had posed, I realized that it really just came down to fear of failure. Fear of not measuring up. Fear of rejection. All of it was so real to me. All of it deeply rooted in my childhood. I knew that I needed to build that courage muscle and practice what my grandfather had so wisely advised me to do: “you have to work hard. Do all things with excellence – do a job well.”

A big step on my journey to overcoming fear happened outside of my work environment. I have always had a heart for helping people trapped in human trafficking and was involved with several local and international organizations that rescue victims and help them to recover. A few years later, I found myself at a charity event where I was asked to go to the “red light” district of Mumbai to help save young children from a life of prostitution. What a better way to build courage than to do something so critically important, yet so intimidatingly new and likely dangerous? I decided I’d do it. After all, courage takes practice.

Fast forward and I’m walking down the streets of the red-light district in Mumbai, remembering other times that I’d stepped out in faith and found comfort in courage. There were many moments on this trip where I wasn’t sure if I’d make it home. I thought that I might disappear in one of those dark, narrow alley ways and that that would be it. It was in that situation, with all the uncertainty, fear and doubt that I felt the potential I had searched for so long being realized. No longer was I afraid of not being successful. I was afraid of being successful at something that didn’t really matter.

I started to think differently about myself. I got really intentional about defining who I was and who I wanted to be. I started to view myself as uniquely equipped to fulfill my own purpose. I realized that I can face challenging things and solve them in unconventional ways. I made a commitment, then and there, to dedicate my life to helping people and organizations realize their greatness within so that they can reach their full potential. Still today, I try to align this purpose to everything I do. It’s how I connect my innate abilities – the things I was just born with, to the skills I’ve honored and refined over time with passion to help others, that I come alive.

While I don’t get to do this international work full-time, I make time to invest in my community and in the lives of people within my organization to help them see the potential from within and do the work required to connect to their purpose.  In my role as an executive leader I see people who are trapped much as I was. They are in a situation at work or life that they can’t find their way out of, despite their efforts. Getting out of the trap isn’t about focusing on your weaknesses, it’s about leveraging your strengths. I challenge them to identify what they are uniquely qualified to do, that no one else is. They were created for a purpose and I want to see them live it out, fully.

A book I read several years ago states this so well, “In the end, success, a successful life is not defined by the destination you achieve. It is defined by love and moments of grace and positive contribution.”

Courage takes practice. Discovering your purpose takes focus and determination. It is a journey you can start today.